First day

Message

#16 Post by **BecStar** » Tue May 18, 2010 12:00 pm

Well thats certainly encouraging! The further complication is I'm in the process of finishing my final dissertation for uni, which limits the time available to talk to myself or sing along to music! I'm hoping to get it finished in the next couple of days tho and then I can sit and talk incessantly and get myself sorted for back to work! Aargh!! I really appreciate ur words of encouragement tho, I do have a tendancy to allow myself to wallow in misery when its really not necessary or useful!! Thanks

x

#17 Post by **drpotter** » Tue May 18, 2010 12:04 pm

If you drive, sing along in the car. Anytime you're home, talk to yourself. I felt like a crazy person. I'd be writing emails and saying what I was typing as long as I was alone.

I know the feeling though. Good luck with the dissertation!

#18 Post by **triggerhart** » Tue May 18, 2010 1:55 pm

Hi there. Still mangling the English language beyond repair at work but I think I'm getting more used to it and so less bothered. I sort of expect to sound stupid now so it's no longer a disappointment to me when I open my mouth and complete garbage comes out (some would say that's nothing new for me!). I managed two short conversations today where I didn't feel the need to explain why my speech was odd. I didn't sound completely normal but I was at least comprehensible which is a big step forward.

Uptil now I've spent loads of time practising. I talked to myself in the car and sang along to songs as much as possible. I haven't made much progress though. Today I decided to have a break and not focus on it so much and it feels good. I have been soooo tired from concentrating on trying to speak more clearly and was getting stressed and depressed. I have to chair a meeting tomorrow evening which I was dreading but I've come to the conclusion that worrying isn't going to get me talking properly any quicker and so I might as well relax.

I really hope my speech gets to a manageable level in the next week or so. I'd be more than happy to cope with a lisp as long as the rest of my pronunciation returns. It's so great to hear a positive story from Dr. Potter. Roll on the next few months!

Good luck on your dissertation and really try not to worry about all this too much.

#19 Post by **BecStar** » Tue May 18, 2010 2:30 pm

Brill! Sounds like ur starting to get there with it! If ur seeing improvements then chances are there'll be more!! Good luck with the meeting!! I managed to eat some chocolate buttons today which made me feel ever so slightly better... think I'm a while off the lamb chops yet tho!!x

#20 Post by **triggerhart** » Tue May 18, 2010 2:37 pm

LOL I think the steak and chips might have to wait a while! I'll post tomorrow when I get back from slurring my words in public at my meeting.

#21 Post by **triggerhart** » Thu May 20, 2010 1:41 am

Well I went to my meeting last night. I was a big brave girl and spoke up even though I felt totally embarrassed. At the end one participant came over to me and told me I sounded like I had suffered a stroke! The speech is just not getting any better so I'm feeling a bit down in the dumps today. I really never thought that by day 11 I would still be struggling.

How are you doing Becstar?

#22 Post by **BecStar** » Thu May 20, 2010 3:14 am

Aww bless u!! Good for u gettin in there and stickin it out, I reckon I'd have chickened out! As if someone came up to u and said that tho I mean really, how is that helpful at all!? When are u scheduled in for the appt to fill the metal in? Try not to feel too disheartened, there are still options you can try! Try to keep remindin urself that yeah, if you took them off tomorrow you'd have ur speech back, but then u'd never get the teeth that you want - that what I keep thinking, I suppose I'm trying to rationalise things a bit when I feel miserable!

I'm pretty much the same as last time I posted really, I made my first phone call to the outside world yesterday and decided that the call centre guy had a definite pitying tone of voice as I spluttered away at him!! Its affecting my confidence equally as much, if not more, than its affecting my speech! I still sound like a female daffy duck and its really beginning to bug me! I find I want to say things but its too much effort, or makes me cringe so much when I hear myself that I decide not to bother speaking at all! And I still cant get the hang of this wax - I have spots where my tongue is quite sore and it takes me forever to get the wax to stick on, it seems to prefer sticking to my fingers than my teeth!! Bloody typical eh!!

#23 Post by **triggerhart** » Thu May 20, 2010 11:09 am

LOL I know how you feel.

There are some calls I was putting off making but I couldn't get away with it by the time I got to week 2. My desk is in a large open plan office and at first I dreaded answering the phone in front of everyone (never mind the poor person at the other end). I'm over that now. Don't want to sound too much like some psycho motivational speaker but it has been good to be forced to deal with my inhibitions and overcome the fear factor. I'm sure I'll see the benefits somewhere along the line (well I keep telling myself that anyway!) I don't think there is much that could embarrass me at work now!

I've had the white composite stuff (used for fillings) placed along the wire and while it is much more comfy it hasn't helped my speech. I'll see how I am by next Monday and then decide. I won't be able to get away with this at work for too much longer though. They wouldn't dare say anything up front but I know I won't get the chance to meet clients, make the pitches etc and it won't be good for my career. I do want my teeth sorted but not at the expense of my livelihood.

Its still really early days for you Becstar. Because of me my fab Orthodontist has this week contacted every one of her lingual patients just in case someone else battled through the really tough early weeks without telling her. Virtually everyone reported they were fine by the end of the first fortnight so I bet you'll be great in another few days.

Where are you off to snorkelling? I had my first go last year and loved it!

#24 Post by **BecStar** » Fri May 21, 2010 3:44 pm

Aww pet I've just seen ur other post!!

I'm suprised that b, d and l sounds are causing you problems... I'm still having a few issues forming l's from time to time but you wouldnt expect the others to really cause problems. Does your ortho have any ideas why it might be? Maybe you should book a bit of time off work and arrange lots of days out with friends and families... or time to sit and practice without the pressure of speaking in public or worries that it might affect your work? I've hardly spoken to anyone for the past few days with this god damn assignment so needless to say my speech hasnt really improved. But I'm nearly finished on the essay front and then I'm gonna ramble away at anyone that will listen. Ru feelin ok overall though? It seems its turning out to be much more of an emotional roller coaster than ever expected!x

#25 Post by **triggerhart** » Sat May 22, 2010 10:25 am

Hi Becs! Great to hear from you. I bet you'll be delighted to get the dissertation done and dusted! I think you've done really well dealing with your braces at the same time as that. I am pretty down in the dumps as my speech is really not improving (honestly, it's not just my assessment). I've recorded myself every few days and have also asked a few trusted and reliable friends. I think I'm disheartened because I'm having problems with so many different sounds. If it was one or two I know I would go hell for leather to work on those but I feel like I don't really know where to begin.

To be honest I'm just tired out with it all. I tend to end each day full of hope that tomorrow will be better and day after day its just not happening. Sorry to be such a misery guts - I'm not usually like this!

My hubby is going out tonight and I'm looking forward to a nice night in front of the TV with a glass of vino and my children. I'm sure they'll sort me out - they won't allow me to wallow in self-pity for long!

Take care and good luck putting the final gloss on your essay.

#26 Post by **BecStar** » Sun May 23, 2010 7:38 am

I'm so sorry to hear ur feelin down, I was thinkin maybe you should write out an alphabet/sounds chart and tick off all the ones you can actually say!? And then when you start getting to grips with other ones you can tick them off too and maybe see a little bit of progress, even if it is slower than u'd hoped? Would also give you indication of the ones you really need to keep practicing! I know what u mean about being tired out, the effort of it all really takes it out of u doesnt it! But it *will* be worth it in the end!! Imagine givin out big cheesey grins without feeling self conscious!? Now thats worth hanging in there for!!! How was the night in then? I was gutted they cancelled BGT for the football - how dare they!!!x

#27 Post by **triggerhart** » Sun May 23, 2010 7:58 am

LOL me too! I was already miserable as sin and BGT not being on the was the final straw. Still, now we can look forward to it tonight instead!

I've got my optimistic head back on today and have been experimenting with waxing my brace to see if that helps. I've heard mixed reports - some people say it makes them worse and others quite the opposite so I thought I might as well give it a go. I think it feels slightly easier to move my tongue around.

Hope you're able to enjoy the sunshine and you're not cooped up studying. It's a week for you tomorrow - how are you doing now?

Take care.

#28 Post by **BecStar** » Mon May 24, 2010 8:13 am

Glad to hear ur feelin a little bit better, how is it going with the wax?? Unfortunately i am cooped up studying but it'll be over soon so I am just focusin on that! I also missed BGT coz was working still but never mind I'll have next weekend to do whatever the hell I want!!

No changes for me yet, its not so sore anymore except one tooth that must be getting the most pressure but no improvements that I can hear in the speech yet, was hoping it would improve slightly everyday but doesnt feel like anything has happened yet... I'm crossing my fingers for the apparently magical 2 week mark! I'm coping fine at the moment, apart from feeling slightly frustrated, but if I have to go back to work speaking like this thats when I'll really feel it!

x

#29 Post by **triggerhart** » Mon May 24, 2010 11:08 am

I know only too well that feeling of looking for, but not finding, any improvement each day. When are you due back in work? How's the study going? Out of interest is your upper arch on the small side? Mine is and that seems to be the root cause of my tongue's inability to function. Think dolphin trying to swim in a bath. The wax didn't seem to make any difference but it's worth a try. The one thing I have really noticed is that my speech is definitely better if I drink lots (of water, nothing stronger sadly).

Work was ok today given that many people have heard me now. The first few days are definitely the worst in that regard but once they've all heard you the novelty soon wears off.

I had a good chat with my boss who is great - honest but fair. He told me my speech has certainly improved from the first few days when it was truly unintelligible for the most part but that I am still a way off being normal and progress seems to have stalled. He confirmed that I'm not being overly sensitive here and that I still sound as if there is something 'wrong' as opposed to simply sounding a little different from what's normal for me. He said my speech looks and sounds like it is a huge effort rather than something which comes naturally - no s**t Sherlock!

Short phrases are fine and if that's all I had to say in one go I would definitely get away without people realising. It's when I have to speak in paragraphs that it all goes pear shaped. My tongue just cannot keep up the pace and ends up in all the wrong places leading to slurred, incoherent speech. I imagine that over a period of months those short fragments of clear speech will gradually get bigger until most of the time I sound ok.

Unfortunately I can't really get by operating at this low level for months on end and so very reluctantly I've come to the decision that the lingual is going to have to go. All I have succeeded in doing so far is swapping a relatively minor imperfection (my teeth) for a far more profound and far reaching one (my speech). With hand on heart I can truly say I would never have had a lingual had I realised the extent of the speech problems I would encounter.

My brilliant Orthodontist is trying to make an appointment for me to do the necessary and replace the lingual with a ceramic brace but we both have pretty packed schedules so it may not happen for another week or two. Of course that always leaves the door open if I somehow make enormous strides forward before then I can leave the lingual on....but I just can't see that happening: it would need such a step change in my speech to get to that point.

However, ever the optimist watch this space and I'll keep you posted.

Take care

#30 Post by **BecStar** » Mon May 24, 2010 11:41 am

Back in a week and straight in at the deep end with a full day of appts to catch up after being off... possibly a few rather lengthy interviews to do as well, one of which will most likely be being observed! Argh I dont even want to think about it right now! My ortho told me I have the 'tinest of all tiny mouths' so yeah I'd say its on the small side lol! I hope this doesnt mean I'll have the same problems! I know what u mean on the tongue front, mine does seem to get very tired and almost get stuck half way thru what its saying!! Altho I'm trying to reassure myself that it does seem common to most people for the first few weeks from what I read... but we'll see I suppose!

I reckon its a good sign that your boss has noticed improvements, although its disappointing you dont seem to be getting any further. I suppose only you know how much you can stand of the speech difficulties... you may just be one of those people who takes a bit longer, altho it depends how long you're willing and able to wait to find out! Only you knows really whether the right choice for you would be to go ceramic or stick it out, but like u say lets see what happens in the next few days/weeks... I really am crossing all my fingers and toes for you... and for me come to think of it!!x