Weird that friends etc don't mention braces?

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#1 Post by **claraleeza** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 1:07 pm

I got my braces fitted exactly one month ago and, not being one who likes to draw attention to themself, confess I wasn't looking forward to having such a noticeable change in my appearance. Well, my closest friends, who knew I was getting braces, they all commented of course - they were all very complimentary and supportive - good friends. A couple of the kids I know commented - they were really bemused why I didn't have any "colours", and a few wanted to know what the experience was like because they're due to get braces soon. I've had no comments from strangers, but that doesn't surprise me.

But the thing that I find weird is that NONE of my other friends/colleagues/acquaintances made ANY mention of the fact that I'd got braces. Like nothing. Zilch. Okay, so I've got ceramic uppers and lowers, and they're not so noticeable from a distance, but when you're talking to someone face to face, they KNOW you're wearing braces. Plus, I smile a lot. I've always smiled a lot and wasn't going to change that once I'd got braces, so mine are definitely on show.

It was disconcerting at first, because naturally I was hyper-conscious of the braces being there, so it felt kind of like if you've got a really odd new haircut and you're talking to someone and you KNOW they're noticing your really odd new haircut but they're not saying anything about it which makes you even more conscious of the odd new haircut and you want to just say, 'Yeah, I've got an odd new haircut,' but you also feel there's no point because, hey, they know it already. Now I'm not nearly so conscious of the braces, but I still find it just, well, weird that absolutely no one has made a single comment, not even just a, 'Oh, you got braces,' kind of comment.

Anyone noticed the same thing?

#2 Post by **Jillianleab** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 1:38 pm

I think people are probably trying to be polite and not bring it up in case you are self conscious or sensitive about it. Either that, or they just don't care!

#3 Post by **jaswi** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 2:16 pm

Definatly it's an odd experience. I've got just metal uppers right now and find it a bit annoying when friends of mine and people I work with every day have never mentioned them. I know they see them, they aren't blind, I can see them looking at em. Why pretend they dont exist? It just makes me uncomfortable- I try not to open my mouth for people any more than I absolutely have to.

#4 Post by **Waddles** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 2:40 pm

Hi Ive had the same experience, a couple of people have said "oh you got them then" but others have said nothing, I think the main reason could be that its just not such a big deal to anyone else.

I think back to when I didnt have the braces (not long since I only got them 2 weeks ago

) tho) but if I saw people with braces it didnt really bother me.

The braces feel a lot bigger to us than what people actually see and obviously its a lot bigger deal to us as were the ones going through it. Im glad, I smile loads and I dont care who sees them, I know in 12 months time ill be smiling even more than I am now I expect and in the meantime if anyone I know or strangers have a problem then they can just get over it.

Take care brace buddies and be proud
x

#5 Post by **Pirate Wench** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 3:29 pm

I know I am still having the same type of thing too. Everyone that knew already said something the day I got them. No one else has said anything at all. It has been kind of nice actually.

The only time I have even pointed them out was the weekend I had gotten them. I was taking a motorcycle safety class. We went out as a group for lunch and I apologized in advanced for if I had food stuck in my braces

It didn't matter to anyone at all.

#6 Post by **CLAmom** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 3:34 pm

Several people at work who I hadn't told I was getting braced did not notice or comment on them until my 2nd adjustment when I got blue ligs! It seems these were much more noticable than the silver ligs on ceramic I had previously. Now I'm in light purple and only one other person had commented--she has braces, too and I never noticed her's before!

#7 Post by **Flora2006** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 7:56 pm

Not a lot of friends noticed at first I had braces...but some did. Some weren't saying anything and waited until I brought the subject up.

I do get strangers asking me about my braces which bother me a bit because I get uncomfortable, but I am slowly getting used to it. But at first I really took it as an insult...as if someone was noticing and saying outloud an imperfection I had....but you slowly get used to it.

#8 Post by **DichCa** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 7:57 pm

I know what you mean exactly. This happens more with people who didn't know you'd be getting them..well with me, that's the case. I get so uncomfortable when they don't comment on them, so I just end up saying something like "Oh did you notice?, i got braces". Lol i know it's kinda stupid, but gets it out of the way

#9 Post by **Granola** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 11:49 pm

I really think people don't notice our braces as much as we think they do, because we are so ultra conscious of them in every way.

I never noticed that my pharmacist has worn ceramic braces on her teeth for years, until last year when I began this ortho journey. Suddenly I was noticing braces on anyone who was wearing them, and was never aware of it prior to that.

I know all of the neighbors on my street quite well, and none of them seem to have noticed my braces. The only people who have commented about them are close friends, or people who have told me they are interested in getting braces themselves, and have questions.

#10 Post by **babymetalmouth** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 11:54 pm

I had that with some people, I admittedly am an attention seeker

And I do like people saying " Hey have you got braces?!!?!?!" And so far not many people have, and I have found a way of smiling that shows them propely, and I have hot pink!!!

Ahh well, Ill just pretend I hurt myself so they notice them more

(joke)

#11 Post by **claraleeza** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 2:14 am

Glad to have got a lively discussion going, and to know I'm not the only one whose braces don't get any attention. I agree with Pirate Wench that once you get over the weirdness of no one mentioning them, it's actually quite nice because it helps you to forget they are there.

By the way, I finally managed to work out how to get an avatar! Now you can all see the same smile my friends do.

Wed Jul 12, 2006 7:20 am

The same thing happens to me, 90% of people I meet regularly haven't said anything about my braces. And those who do, they just say, "Oh you got braces."
But you know when I noticed my vet got metal braces two years ago, I did take a second look but didn't say anything either. Later when she got retainers I couldn't even tell.

#13 Post by **Anticipator** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 7:26 am

The example you used about the haircut is funny, seeing as how I just got one and I've gotten a comment from just about everyone on it -- dozens responses.

Response to getting braces (which like you, I felt was a bigger deal) involved three or four unsolicited comments.

I think maybe people don't know how to address braces. They know it's okay to point out that we've had our hair length altered but having our teeth prepared for movement isn't clear cut as acceptable topic material.

Yes, some may not notice, but I think more feel awkward addressing the issue.

#14 Post by **luxekitty** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 10:38 am

Well it was a bit different for me since I made a big fuss about wanting my braces, so when family/friends saw them they were happy for me.

But I find that in general people only mention them when they're going to compliment them OR express sympathy cause they wore them too.

They probably aren't saying anything because it's not a huge deal to them.

#15 Post by **luxekitty** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 10:39 am

Well it was a bit different for me since I made a big fuss about wanting my braces, so when family/friends saw them they were happy for me.

But I find that in general people only mention them when they're going to compliment them OR express sympathy cause they wore them too.

They probably aren't saying anything because it's not a huge deal to them.