Weird that friends etc don't mention braces?

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#16 Post by **luxekitty** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 10:38 am

Well it was a bit different for me since I made a big fuss about wanting my braces, so when family/friends saw them they were happy for me.

But I find that in general people only mention them when they're going to compliment them OR express sympathy cause they wore them too.

They probably aren't saying anything because it's not a huge deal to them.

#17 Post by **luxekitty** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 10:39 am

Well it was a bit different for me since I made a big fuss about wanting my braces, so when family/friends saw them they were happy for me.

But I find that in general people only mention them when they're going to compliment them OR express sympathy cause they wore them too.

They probably aren't saying anything because it's not a huge deal to them.

#18 Post by **jcdamon3** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 12:20 pm

Ever think they may be wondering why YOU didn't say anything?

Here's the deal. With my really close friends, they all knew I was getting them so when I got them they wanted to see.

With less than real close friends that I didn't tell, I mentioned it when I saw them.

With acquaintances I didn't care one way or another whether they brought it up or not or if they even noticed, so I didn't get weirded out or anything if they didn't say something.

#19 Post by **wen** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 5:39 pm

I've worked at the same company for 9 years and got my braces put on not even a week ago and nobody has really said a word about them. I've heard that if you act like they're not there, other people tend to act the same way.

I've actually had a couple of people point out that they actually need braces as well, and have been nothing but supportive of my decision.

Great topic...

Best,
Wen

#20 Post by **dena** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 8:21 pm

I was so shocked when I got little/no response from people. The first time I saw people after being braced, I saw their eyes dart to my mouth and then they just never said anything. I was so nervous/self-conscious about getting them in the first place that I'd prayed for this very reaction. However, after being braced, it made me really sad that people didn't say anything. I guess mostly because I was really happy and I didn't want them to avoid it because it was perceived as 'uncomfortable' or something. A few people did mention them, though, and I was really really pleased by that.

Also, I was on vacation with a friend and her sister-in-law and I were talking and I mentioned my braces, and she was like 'you have braces?' She hadn't even seen them! I thought this was just an urban legend in the adult braces world, but it happened.

Finally, I saw someone about two weeks ago that I was really nervous about seeing. He used to talk about crooked teeth in front of me ALL the time and it made me super uncomfortable. So, I figured he'd jump right onto the braces topic. However, he just looked at me, saw them, and went right past it. He did ask me about them later, but his questions made it sound like it had never occurred to him that I needed braces in the first place. I was really shocked by that because, being self-conscious about my teeth, I had always taken his 'crooked teeth' conversations as pointed at me.

It's been a very strange 6 months...not at all the way I expected it would go! But it's mostly been way better!

#21 Post by **ucldbmine** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 10:27 pm

Before I had braces put on I imagined EVERYONE was going to make some sort of comment when seeing metal in my 30 something mouth. I was WRONG. It's been a nice surprise that most people just really don't care. For example my step daughter whom I hadn't seen in 8 months came to visit she didn't know I was getting braces on and didn't even seem to notice. After I pointed them out to her the only comment I got was ooh I didn't know you were getting braces and it hasnt' been mentioned again. Granted she is only 5 but that seems to be the norm reguardless of age.

#22 Post by **nvcarissa** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 11:31 pm

Frankly, I am glad that most people didn't ask about my braces. Some who did asked my why I did it because to them my teeth looked fine. They weren't fine and I had jaw pain and headaches from my poor bite. I am so glad I didn't have to explain it ad nauseum. My jaw surgery has gotten a bit more attention only because it took me out of commission for awhile and there are continuing limitations to my diet for a few more weeks. And...braces are fairly commonplace...willingly having one's jaw broken and repositioned, not so much!

I wouldn't take offense at folks not mentioning your braces. They are either being polite (not prying into your private affairs) or they flat out don't notice. I had one person say to me in November, "Oh, you have braces! When did you get them?" "I've had them since May," I answered!!

#23 Post by **claraleeza** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 8:15 am

Evidently, the "weirdness" comes from our pre-braces expectation of the attention our braces will receive in contrast to the reality, which makes me glad I started this thread, because it might be a comfort to any newbie thinking about getting braces but still afraid to take the plunge because they don't want to draw attention to themselves and have to tell everyone why they're getting their teeth fixed.

Newbies out there: RELAX. Truly, 99% of people will just ignore your braces, and before you know it you'll be able to ignore them too.

I can also relate with Dena's comment about feeling self-conscious when people mentioned crooked teeth. Before I got the braces, I was continually swaying between thinking my teeth were okay (they're reasonably straight, but I have an 8mm overjet), and thinking they looked really awful. Being British, I've heard a million times the old joke about British people having bad teeth, but whenever someone mentioned this, I always felt like a big neon-lit arrow was coming down from the sky and pointing at me. Now that I finally have braces, I've had a few people ask why I got them, even going so far as to say I have beautiful teeth - several are still bemused even when I point out the overjet, as if they've never noticed it. So, I guess maybe to others they really didn't look as awful as I felt they did.

Either way, I think if your teeth are something that feels like an issue to you and that you're self-conscious about, seeing as you really can get them fixed without too much trouble (and hopefully not too much expense), in the end I think you're doing yourself a good service by getting the braces, even if others might tell you you don't need them. You're the one who has to live with those teeth. And just think how nice it will be to one day be able to smile wide and be proud of them!

Fri Jul 14, 2006 10:45 am

For me, I found that some people commented on them and others didn't seem to notice. One thing that prompted acquaintances/co-workers to comment was my initial self-consciousness with them (i'm 25, so it's not common in my age group). I'd cover my mouth when I smiled or laughed and that drew attention to them, and THAT's when people commented. It was usually "they don't look bad at all. don't worry about it." Otherwise people probably notice it but don't think about it enough to comment.

Maybe you come across as confident enough in them that people don't see a point in commenting on them unless they want advice?

#25 Post by **BeeBee** » Fri Jul 14, 2006 11:39 am

I also got my braces on about a month ago and totally agree with what has been said about people not talking about it! I have ceramic uppers with a metal wire which aren't really noticeable from a distance but clearly visible close-up. I'm also in my twenties and British so braces aren't really common amongst my peers. However luckily my braces are only visible when I smile and not when I speak.

Apart from my friends and family who all knew I was getting them, only one other person has said anything and that was just "I didn't realise you wore braces". Adults are in general polite to each other and don't tend to comment/ tease others about their physical traits (unless they are close friends). I don't go around pointing out to other people that they are fat/ spotty/ short etc and so they haven't commented on my braces.

I was more worried about other people's reactions than anything else, however I can reassure anyone else contemplating braces that it is not going to be as bad as you think. In fact the braces have made me more confident: I was always so self-conscious of my teeth and it now makes me feel good that I am doing something positive to change them. I'd rather be in braces than with unbraced crooked teeth.

#26 Post by **dena** » Fri Jul 14, 2006 1:10 pm

As BeeBee said, I also feel a lot more confident with the braces on than I thought I would. It's funny because I was really expecting to go another 24-30 months self-conscious, expecting the big change to occur after I got them off. But, honestly, that change happened when they were put on. Someone awhile back made the comment that the braces are like a shield for crooked teeth and I totally agree. I always thought of my teeth when I smiled before, and I still do I guess, but it's a much better feeling. Also, your teeth start to look better, and I think straighter teeth with braces are better than crooked teeth without any day!

#27 Post by **Azalin** » Sat Jul 15, 2006 5:47 pm

During my first week of braces, I jokingly got made fun of by friends. Ever since, however, I haven't heard a single thing from anyone. I only got asked questions about my braces by a friend once, but only because I mentioned that I was at the halfway pont. It's pretty weird.

#28 Post by **Lisa65** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 5:08 am

Well I just got my bottom braces on Friday and today was the first day at work with them on. The people in the kitchen who I work with all knew I was getting them and were keen to see. Only one person actually teased me but not in an unkind way. My new nickname is now Jaws! I work in a hospital kitchen and sometimes have to serve in the canteen at mealtimes.
I was in the canteen breakfast time and people coming in for their food must have seen my metal smile, but nobody said anything.
I would imagine they might notice my slightly unclear speech from the TPA but even if anyone does notice, it's only going to be a surprise to them for a few seconds.

Personally I feel more confident with the braces on than before, because I was always paranoid about people thinking my teeth were horrible but now they will be able to see I am doing something about it.