family member is a jerk

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#1 Post by **jennielee81** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 6:02 am

I will be traveling to upstate NY to visit with my in-laws between Christmas and New Years and my jerk of a brother-in-law will be there. He hasn't seen my braces yet (though he lives in my town and I've had them for 20 months!!!)

I just know he's going to make a nasty "metal mouth" crack....actually will probably be the topic of all of his conversations with me that week.

Funny, he will be the ONLY person to to make a crack in my entire treatment time!

GRRRR. I'm trying to come up with comebacks that will not just let him know that I don't care what he says but that he's also an a-hole! I guess I could say, "I don't care what you say and you're an a-hole!"

Any more creative suggestions?

#2 Post by **cowlypso** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 6:08 am

Sounds like a good, truthful statement.

I don't have them on yet, but everybody I've told that I'm getting them is cool with it, except for a few people asking why (since they are straight, just aligned wrong).

I can probably expect a few jokes from my brother, but I know he'll just be kidding. My niece actually made some sort of crazy comment when I told her I was getting braces. But she's 9 (or somewhere around there...), and that's what kids that age do. (More evidence that it's better to have braces as an adult!)

Just ignore him. If you already know he's a jerk, then you don't have to take any of his comments seriously. Try to spend your time talking to others in your family, who will hopefully put him in his place if he makes any rude comments. And remember, it's only temporary (both the braces, and the holidays), but your brother-in-law's jerkiness is permanent! Hmm... your brother-in-law... can't your husband stick up for you? Maybe if you talked to him beforehand about your concerns, he can put his brother in his place.

#3 Post by **macca** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 6:47 am

Hi,
Your brother in law sounds like he's yet to reach puberty!
You could try some Churchillian-like comment such as "I may have braces, but in xx months my teeth will be perfect, your face however will always be mashed !!"

Seriously though, just ignore him, it's his own ignorance to other peoples thoughts or feelings which is the problem.

Good luck !

#4 Post by **iBorg** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 7:26 am

Don't you wish you had the money to take care of your teeth?

Keep it up and I'll bite you.

I plan on keeping the teeth God gave me....You working in those store bought ones?

Most people think they make me look younger? What's your plan.

Or if he's loosing his hair.

In XX months I'll have perfect teeth, will you still have hair?

Truly nasty....
I decided to spend my money on teeth, you booze?

If you want me to work on more, I have a nasty Brit wit. I understand the issues. My in-laws

Mike

#5 Post by **maple** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 8:01 am

iBorg, these are good.

#6 Post by **Clover** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 8:01 am

Agree with him. He won't be expecting that. Just say, yeah, you're right, they don't look very nice. But you know what, in a few months time I will have perfect teeth. You, on the other hand, will still be a smart ass. If you say it with a a little charm and a big smile it won't sound nasty, just funny. I used it to great effect on a guy in a bar. At the end of the day, you're doing this for you, and it's a great thing. Not everyone has the guts, so be proud and don't let anyone make you feel bad. Good luck

#7 Post by **Delag** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 8:26 am

iborg - I don't ever want you mad at me!

#8 Post by **Pirate Wench** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 8:27 am

You can always beat him to the punch.....you can say something like,"I know you have something smart to say about my braces so just get it over with." Every time he says something after that just look at who ever is with you and say,"What do you expect when you have the mentallity of a 3 year old!" Then shrug your shoulders and walk away.

If those don't work, I would definately use all of iBorg's suggestions (those are fantastic.....I am kind of a smart a$$ myself)

Good luck

#9 Post by **Keith** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 8:41 am

Great suggestions, guys!

Too bad you have an in-law that is so incredibly intolerable.

As a male, if you make a crack about him losing hair, that is a pretty low one, so MAKE sure you use that one if it applies. It will shut him up immediately.

#10 Post by **karebear46168** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:19 am

I don't want iborg mad at me either, those were great!

Just remember that you are making an amazing difference in your life to better it.

#11 Post by **jcdamon3** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 9:21 am

I would just look at him, blink your eyes a few times and then get up or turn around and walk away.

If you make a wise crack he will just think you enjoy his nasty comments and want to join in with the fun.

I think if you treat this with total silence he will be totally embarrased.

Good luck. And yeah, nasty family members? There is one in every family so you are not alone. Our one nasty one is better now - she got out of rehab.

#12 Post by **Jillianleab** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 10:37 am

You know, I went to visit my brother (who is a gigantic a-hole) three months after getting braced and expected tons of wise cracks and teasing. He said NOTHING! I couldn't believe it! Maybe your brother-in-law will surprise you?

If he doesn't however, my suggestion is to agree with him about everything he says. I grew up with two older brothers and quickly learned they do things to get a rise out of the person they are picking on. If you give no reaction, they get bored and stop. So when he makes a comment like, "Hey braceface! Did you set off the THIS IS SPAM PLEASE REPORT TO THE ADMINISTRATOR. THIS IS SPAM PLEASE REPORT TO THE ADMINISTRATOR. THIS IS SPAM PLEASE REPORT TO THE ADMINISTRATOR. THIS IS SPAM PLEASE REPORT TO THE ADMINISTRATOR. THIS IS SPAM PLEASE REPORT TO THE ADMINISTRATOR. at the ariport with those things?" Just say, "Yup. Sure did." and leave it at that. Or, my favorite nasty thing to do (which is very childish, I admit) is to carry a tiny squirtgun with you and when he makes a smarta** remark, squirt him with it. No, it's not nice, but it is effective!

Any chance your mother-in-law or this guy's wife (assuming he has one) will smack him in the head for you everytime he makes a snide remark? Or, if you have kids you can get one to kick him in the shin and say, "Don't make fun of my mommy!"

Good luck....

#13 Post by **Svensk Tiger** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 11:35 am

When I first got my braces I was feeling a little upset because I felt so self-conscious. My sister, who was visiting at the time, said to me "at least you won't have them forever, some people are just ugly".

I thought these were wise words for a (then) 16 year old. Perhaps you could turn this around and direct it at your relative?

#14 Post by **iBorg** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 12:19 pm

folks I don't get mad... I don't get even...I GET INTEREST!

Seriously, I can shoot lines off about three minutes too late.

As for me getting mad, its a rare thing.

Mike

#15 Post by **jennandtonic** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 12:37 pm

Silence, even a frown, speaks louder than words.

Or, if you please, you can just walk off any time he starts.

But making wisecracks back at him will just encourage him.