what will people think - or should I care?

Message

#1 Post by **tnj1220** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 2:05 pm

i'm not self-conscious about wearing braces from the standpoint of how i look. they can talk about me or stare at my mouth as much as they want - i look at my mouth a lot! what i'm worried about is what other people will think of me - that they would think i'm doing this out of vanity.

i mean really in a way, i am, but i wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't going to improve the health of my teeth & mouth overall. my teeth don't need a huge cosmetic improvement although i eventially would like to replace the veneers on my front teeth or get them capped or something.

I just think that if i'm going to do that, the braces should be first. the dentist and ortho will confirm that for me in the next few weeks...

but i'm spending all this money on myself - i'm just not used to doing that - and it will be so obvious to other people, i mean folks know what this costs.

should i even worry about what they think?

anyone know where i'm coming from?

#2 Post by **SDFD TSchott** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 2:09 pm

I know where your coming from, I thought to myself before getting braces that I would look weird and people would treat me a whole lot different then they treated me before. Well I got braces and the things I thought were all wrong in fact people I never talked to before are talking to me now, people that I was enemies with before are now my friends so things have changed for the good for me

Don't let braces change your plans!

SDFD TSchott

#3 Post by **platinum** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 2:33 pm

Yes!

I am not anymore too happy getting braces. I look quite good, and seriously those braces are lowering my market value. 20 months, ugh.
I don't really care what others think, but looking worse is not really appealing. Luckily I can switch to Invisaling later on.

#4 Post by **SDFD TSchott** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 2:37 pm

I did forget to mention since getting braces I've had a few girls actually ask me out and they had talked to me alot before braces but "NEVER" asked me out!

SDFD TSchott

#5 Post by **Lisa65** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 3:09 pm

seriously those braces are lowering my market value

Sorry platinum, I had to laugh when I read that

But think of it as an investment. Your market value will be higher when you have an immaculate set of teeth

#6 Post by **iBorg** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 3:19 pm

I don't know your age or life circumstances so I'm a bit off with a reply.

You are choosing to do something (if you do get braced) that is for yourself. You know your financial situation far better than those you meet or even extended family members. As such you need to answer the questions you ask yourself. If you are happy with the answer, then the only one you need to please is yourself. You also need to know if you feel a need to please others.

I am certain almost every member of this group has had more than one person ask, "Why would you want to do that?" I had my reasons. They were and are still good to me. My wife understands and supports the decision.

As such I'm happy with the decision. I'm sure others look and wonder why I'm doing it. I know and am happy and believe its one of the better things I've done.

#7 Post by **Delag** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 3:30 pm

I don't think of it as vain, it is basic upkeep. Make-up, shaving, hair dye, shine shoes, hair cuts, clean ears, straight teeth......vanity or health? It can be a fine line. It would be unhealthy for me to let my white hair show - bad for my self esteem. That may sound very vain to someone else, but it is important to me. It is all jsut a matter of perspecitve.

#8 Post by **tnj1220** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 3:40 pm

thanks iborg, that's what i wanted to hear!

i'm married also, so market value and dating are not factors, and i know i'll have my wife's support. when it's over it will be an improvement and a new start, so from the self-confidence standpoint, feeling better about my smile is a good thing. besides, at the moment i'd rather smile with braces on my teeth on than the way things are today.

sometimes i think when people ask 'why would you want to do that?' i can just open my mouth and start pointing things out and see how long they can stand it!

but i deal closely with so many people who live in so many income brackets, i can't help thinking they'll judge me for this. all i can think is that if they were in a position to do it, and they had to, they would do it too...

finally, i keep thinking i might not be so fortunate to be in this position (where i can afford it) next year, which is why i decided to take the plunge now.

so it would seem I'm still flip-flopping!

#9 Post by **iBorg** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 5:26 pm

Let me add a personal perspective since we are more alike than different. I'm 48, married with two small children age eight and six.

Since I have had braces, I find people think I smile more. Maybe I do as I realize I'm doing something good for myself or I feel better physically. It could also be that when I smile now, my teeth actually show.

I believe that even with braces my smile is much better than before. I believe that when I meet new people I make a better first impression. That can be quite beneficial for such things as sales, education or job interviews.

I hope my posts are helpful as you battle this decision.

Mike

#10 Post by **nahky** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 5:30 pm

I have found in general people dont really care or they take interest and ask questions because they have always wanted braces or they are just curious, in a positive way.

put simply...

#11 Post by **Gennel** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 8:04 pm

I really didn't give it a second thought about what people would think.
Then a few months after getting them ,my mother inlaw mentioned that she thought my teeth were fine and never noticed a problem. Of course not ,because I never opened wide enough when I spoke! lol Then she asked the dreaded question. How much did those things cost? She figured around $1,000 lol She was in shock when I said $5,500 . Then I proceeded to show her my before picture and now current picture and all she kept saying was "Oh my God,that's a huge change in only 6 months!"
Then she totally understood how bad I felt about my smile and now is very supportive. I never got upset with her,she's in her 80's and to her everything was only a few dollars back in her day.My mom was the most supportive when I told her what Iwas doing because she could not afford them for me when I was a kid.

Gennel

#12 Post by **acd** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 9:24 pm

So far the hardest part of this has been actually getting up the courage to go through with it. In almost three months I have had 3 or 4 people say anything to me about my braces. It really is not that big of a deal to other people. My wife thought I was nuts when I actually went through with it (she also wasn't happy about the $$ but I told her I could have easily spent that much or a lot more on some old car that wouldn't last nearly as long as straight teeth will) but has come around lately as my teeth have progressed. As far as people asking you why you're doing this since you're the one writing the check it really doesn't matter if they understand or not. My only regret is waiting until I turned 39 to start this.

#13 Post by **Skylark** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:12 am

Me too!

I really was worried that people would always be asking why I'm doing it (since there are only a couple of teeth that are really crooked).

Interestingly the only person who's said anything negative was one of my best friends (who's away travelling at the mo and doesn't yet know I went through with it!) Since getting them a month ago, hardly anyone has noticed (I have ceramics) and I've had no negative comments at all. They really do seem far less important to other people than to me!

No one except my parents have mentioned the cost either (and I told them a slightly lower figure anyway!)

If anyone did ask (which they haven't) I'd focus on the bite issue rather than the fact that I do also want to improve my smile.

In fact it's improved my self esteem because despite my worries I went through with it and life has carried on as normal. After a couple of days hiding them I now smile as big as ever.

So smile and be proud of your decision!

#14 Post by **Brunoise** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:03 am

In a nutshell, you shouldn't care but its hard not to care.

I have been telling a few people here and there in different circles of friends so that I wouldn't have a surprise reaction from everyone I met and the reactions have run the gamut. The biggest group of folks have been positive and very very supportive. Like a huge Right ON!

Some however have questions of why I am doing it as my teeth aren't that bad and some just rude, How much is it going to cost? and a couple unfortunately, were disheartening, Why would you do that? Braces are awful---you will be in so much pain, blah blah I had them and blah blah blah. I actually stopped listening to one 23 year old complainer who had them as a teenager for four years, didn't wear her retainers and now her teeth are WHACK as they say. Whatever.

I am pretty solid inside due to my mother's never ending drum beat of "pretty on the inside is what counts" "smart is more important that pretty" etc. I was in college before I realised that I was, well, kinda hot.

Anyway, it still bugs me when someone would say something like "that will look awful" without any thought to my feelings at all. Yes, I KNOW this is the right decision, I am as prepared as I can be for the unknown but it really makes me want to tear them a new one. That's why I post it here I guess! Venting to the choir!

So on one hand, I don't give a fiddler's flatulence what anyone thinks but on the other I am human and having my choices questioned in that way makes me feel like a child.

Courage!

#15 Post by **iBorg** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 12:55 pm

Give a WHAT?

Never heard that saying before.

Mike