Braces at 40 ..will my boyfriend find me unattractive?

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#1 Post by **katbythebay** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:01 pm

I am 40...and have had my top braces for about 5 mths now...will be getting my bottom braces in a few weeks.I am in a very long distance relationship and my my b/f is in England....havent seen him in a very long time .. and when I do see him ..wonder ..tough he knows I have them..hes seen me o n the web cam ..my upper braces dont show well unless i smile really big .but wonder if my braces will be a shocker to him

when he finally sees me again after a few yrs.*sigh*..yeah i sound like a school girl LOL... but im a bit self conscience about my braces now .

#2 Post by **iBorg** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:33 pm

Reminds me of the old joke..."Doc, after my broken arm heals will I be able to play the violin?" "Could you play it before?"

What about braces would not make you attractive? He knows you have them, he's seen you on a webcam.....you haven't changed, why should it matter. As one person used to say, braces don't change you, only you can do that.

Mike

#3 Post by **pippy** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:55 pm

I know it is difficult and they can make you feel self conscious, but really WE are the only people that pay any attention to them! I got mine aged 34, was married at the time and my H never minded them, not even when they looked awful at the start, all he ever did was support the progress - even commenting that they were kinda cute...I think they get into a school girl headspace lol. We got divorced recently and I was VERY concerned about meeting someone new with braces..... I met a gorgeous man who has never ever had a problem with them. He loves the fact that I did something for me that was that brave. If a new partner can find me attractive with them, then a man who already knows you and loves you will be so happy to see you he will harldy notice they are there! Braces don't make us look bad, they will succeed in making us look even better in the future..and the fact that we can do it shows we have character..something a lot more important in a relationship than a temporary bit of wonky metal.

#4 Post by **ccrisis** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 6:35 am

Hi Kat,

When I got braced 16 months ago, I had just been seeing someone for a few months. Our relationship was pretty new, so there wasn't that feeling of "I love you for who you are". In fact I thought it was a real possibility that he'd break up with me because of the braces. (ceramic uppers, metal lowers). I'm not one of those people who looks good no matter what (I'm not bad for 45, but no raving beauty by any means), but by far my least attractive feature was my teeth!!!! I figured no matter how bad the braces looked, they couldn't look worse than my crooked teeth. Well the braces themselves turned out to be a non-event. My boyfriend barely reacted to them, other than the fact that he thought it was great that I wanted to fix the teeth if they bothered me. Now 16 months later, my teeth are sooo much straighter (I had a deep overbite and extremely crooked teeth all around, top and bottom) that even with the braces they look way, way better than before I had the braces, so much better in fact, that now I wonder if he just loves me for my beautiful teeth (just kidding)!!!

#5 Post by **loulou123** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 12:24 pm

Hi

My boyfriend was completely anti braces (he understood i medically needed them, but hated the look of them) and as shallow as that made him, i was worried how he'd react. But he was fine, its never been a big deal and i worried needlessly as im sure you are too.

Im sure hes in a relationship with you because he loves you and braces wont change that.

#6 Post by **gguguseli** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 3:36 pm

I think, if somebody loves / really likes you, it doesn't matter. I have Speed brackets (metal uppers and lowers). I am in a new relationship, it just start to get intense. She didn't care about my braces. Sometimes she forgets even that I'm wearing braces (even if you can see them well). Would you brake up with somebody just because he / she has braces? If yes, it's just not the right person for you. From that perspective it's quite a good test. At least you know, where you are standing. So don't worry too much about it, take it easy.

#7 Post by **fluffybottom** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 12:55 am

Everyone will react differently so there is no saying what your boyfriend will think when he sees them up close and personal. However, the chances are that if there are feelings there, he will take them in stride. I needed a ride to and from an oral surgery appointment and, due to lack of other options, I recruited an ex-boyfriend to drive me. He hadn't seen me in my braces and I was worried what he'd think.

Answer? We're back together now.