braces and your social life?

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#61 Post by **bracednconfused** » Sat May 17, 2008 4:36 pm

it seems my response has generated some interest.

Neptune - (btw - i am a she) i agree with the self-confidence part of your answer, not so much with the maturity part though. Maybe it has to do more with the maturity of others in our age range that makes us uncomfortable and more prone to negative comments rather than our own lack of maturity. I know everyone exudes this kind of attitude like they shouldn't care what people think - i'm not talking about the people on the board, i think that goes for a lot of things in general - but I think deep down everyone cares what other people think, even if only a little. I've learned through this experience that I care a whole lot more than I ever thought I did or ever allowed myself to. Be it age, lifestyle or results from past experiences - it is what it is and I've got to deal with that.

Personally, I've yet to encounter anyone who has said something negative about my appearance or about my braces in general to my face, but I don't doubt for a second that it has been done behind my back. I can't imagine the kind of jokes people could be having at my expense right now. There is nothing I can do about that however, and I can't take everyone else's opinions to heart. I can only focus on my own, that being that I'm doing something for myself that means a lot to me and will better something I've been unhappy about my entire life.

Also -- there is no need for argument. everyone has their own right to feel however they feel in braces, whether 25 or 65. I just thought this was a good outlet to express how I'm feeling in these things because I don't want to keep sounding like a broken record to the people around me. I'm glad at least a few people can relate. We'll make it through guys! It took me five years to finally take the plunge and though I havent seen much change yet -- remember that when you are waiting for something to be over - time doesn't reverse itself. It can only go forward. The only thing this journey can do now, is end.

#62 Post by **ArchAngle** » Sat May 17, 2008 5:28 pm

Personally, I've yet to encounter anyone who has said something negative about my appearance or about my braces in general to my face, but I don't doubt for a second that it has been done behind my back.

I've yet to have anyone, family and friends raise the issue at all. In fact I literally have to drag them into talking about it with me. Turns out a lot of people are hiding dental issues (bad bites, cosmetic work etc) and don't want to talk about it. I strongly suspect envy on their part in this case, as perhaps with everyone else who might comment negatively. It's not the easiest thing in the world to leap out of bed and say hey I think I will get braces to fix my teeth. The concept of commiting 2 years of your life to trucking out to an ortho ever 6 weeks is off putting alone. Aside from the what is now non-issue of pain, confidence levels, what it looks like etc. I really do believe the majority of people "out there" could do with braces, not just for how their teeth look. How many people actually wake up alive

with a perfect bite? Seriously, I suspect people might suspect they need braces, where their bite is off, they may just not know that it can and should be fixed. Sadly orthodontics are promoted as 'fixing your teeth and having a beautiful smile' with the side benefit of 'fixing your bite so your teeth will last longer'. Of course it should be the other way round. In fact I would promote that it should be mandatory. The whole concept to this day is vanity, the perception I think people out there think you are vain and doing this 'to look good' (or better). How wrong can this be. Personally having a classic case of collapsed arches (dental) owing to jaw size discrepancy, I am the first out of the gate to promote getting your teeth fixed now that I am. Yes, while the smile will be a million percent better than when starting, inside, I am more pleased with actually feeling the bite starting to fit, to the point where jaw muscle usage is evening out to as the arches open up, the tongue rests on the palate properly, and the airway opens up and I do not gag brushing my teeth. Going to a dentist was so off-putting due to gagging with no real explanation why over the course of 20 years. Same for brushing, I'd rip rib cartilage gagging. Prior to being braced I hadn't stepped foot in the dentists door in 7 years. The hygenist was stunned trying to figure out what the heck all that plaque build of was

I think this issue of the confidence level is deeper than the process of being braced. It stems from actually doing it -- it being getting your teeth sorted out once and for all.

Similarly the cost aspect is as equally ocean-eyed as the "others out there's perception".

Regardless of age, 10, 20 years ago or today, 6000 dollars to 'fix your teeth' seems to be an enormous amount and 'luxury'.

The reality is that is is +/- a peanut of all of $8.00 per day.

The cost of a packet of cigarettes.

One or two drinks in a bar.

One whole Dollar per hour in an 8 hour day.

You can probably do better pan-handling to make 8 dollars each and ever day for 2 years.

Anyone doubting, thinking, being on the fence about taking the plunge and doing this: just do it.

There really are no excuses at all.

#63 Post by **kudos213** » Sat May 17, 2008 5:56 pm

Everyone reading this should listen up. First off, everyone is too concerned with whether or not there is a 'fight' brewing here. Relax people. Unless there are ad hominem character attacks, everyone is stating their point of view. So to everyone who is worried there is some sort of confrontation brewing, just relax.

More later...

#64 Post by **bbandef** » Tue May 20, 2008 6:14 pm

I just read all the messages on this topic and they've all been helpful for me to figure out why I'm unhappy with the braces. I too sought orthodontia for mostly cosmetic reasons. I am 50 years old and this is my second time with braces as an adult. I didn't wear my retainer the first time around. Won't make that mistake again.

Like most, my self confidence varies from day to day, depending on what's going on in my life and how I feel on any given day. I try not to let the metal in my mouth determine how I feel about myself. Most days I am successful at that. Right now I have what seem to be grand canyon size spaces between my front teeth and I'm positive everyone is staring at them when they talk to me. And next month I get those power chain things - in black. PLUS - I'm scheduled to give training at work the week after the power chains go on. So - I've gotta work extra hard not to let this bring me down.

Fri May 23, 2008 11:10 am

I would like to throw in some more of my 2cents about this after an experience I had last night.

I went out to meet up with some old friends that I hadnâ€™t seen in months. No one had seen me with braces before, (Iâ€™ve been braced 2 months) and none of them even knew I was planning on being braced. I was a bit nervous going into the whole thing, which Iâ€™ve learned is becoming a bit of a defense mechanism for me â€“ expect the worst and be relieved by the best.

The first person I encountered mentioned them within about the second sentence of the conversation. This was the first time anyone had said anything about them -- and..dun dun dun...they said it looked good!

I continued to make my rounds greeting people and

no one had anything negative to say! I was even complimentedâ€¦.several times.
In the end, just about everyone I spoke with mentioned them, which was polar opposite compared to all the other friends Iâ€™ve encountered since being braced. It felt very different being so casual about them because I feel like Iâ€™m either complaining about them to close friends or not speaking of them at all. I expected to be the butt of at least one joke - but there were none â€“ and that made me feel really, really good. I just hope it keeps up.

It may sound really silly and almost kind of lame to feel better about them today just because other people were positive about them â€“ but I do, mostly because I didnâ€™t expect any of that at all. It was just reassuring to see that itâ€™s a much bigger deal to me than it is for anyone else. I just wanted to tell those of you who get down about having braces socially, that you just might be surprised by the reactions you get sometimes. This was something I never expected. I wish the same kind of evening for all of you soon.

#66 Post by **nomorecrowd** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 3:13 pm

I just wanted to add the I am truly a self conscious person and was highly concerned about what others thought. I worried I would look ugly also. I have had them for 2 weeks now and the minute I saw them I was relieved. They did not look as bad as I envisioned. When others saw them they didnt saw much at all. Some people asked me questions about them but I am confident now that I am still as pretty as I was before braces and people don't think any differently of me or how I look.

I have ceramic uppers and metal lowers. I am glad I got the ceramic upper though.

#67 Post by **Carolinahigh12** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 8:58 am

No change in the social life. I am naturally extroverted anyway, so there was no way that it would change my outlook on life and meeting people. I speak alot in front of people, and I have had no negative responses to my brackets; if anything, I get a lot of referrals for my orthodontist. Some people are amazed that an adult would invest so much in their mouth and teeth.

I would change the experience for the world. I find it kind of amazing. It hasnt hurt my relationship either with my family and husband. We still do everything that we have done before now.

#68 Post by **spartanforever** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 10:17 am

The only change I've had so far has been re: eating habits..and that too I broke the cardinal law of not eating pop-corn y'day!

Anyway..in fact braces have made me more confident as a person - it's a dental treatment..everybody knows whats happening and if anything at all people would admire your courage of doing so during your adult life. I just turned 30 and so far two of my good friends have also started talking about getting braces.

#69 Post by **fluffybottom** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 10:55 am

Having braces has not impacted my confidence negatively. The only effect it has on my social life is that I tend to be reluctant to eat out on the fly. I'll just order a drink or soup or something just so I don't have to deal with having food all hanging out in my braces during the meal.

#70 Post by **tman2k** » Tue Oct 07, 2008 1:47 am

I got braces on when I was 26yrs old and could quickly tell that people reacted differently towards me. It's rare to see a black guy that's over the age of 13 with braces so I can understand that it throws alot of people off, but still Iâ€™ve had some people do a double-take.

As far as social life goes it all depends. I don't mean to be brusque but folks that don't experience any difference in their social scene with braces might belong to a social cohort (drama club, marching band, world of war craft) where braces might not be an issue, conversely for some other social groups (party goers, musicians) braces can be an issue. In all honesty, it just makes some people uncomfortable and some people hardly notice.

As far as dating goes, most people can agree that first impressions often mean a lot, and when a girl (or any stranger) sees steel brackets and a metal wire in your mouth the first time she meets you it's difficult to deliver a glowing first impression. I don't want to make a blanket statement as far as how girls feel about guys with braces, but from my experience roughly more than half seemed to be initially bothered by my the braces. One silver lining is that some of the girls that were initially bothered were able to get over it after a little time.

The effect on my social life turned out to be a little worse than I had imagined when I was first thinking about getting braces. This shouldnâ€™t stop you from getting ortho treatment if you decide itâ€™s best for you, but hopefully it can add to what you might expect from your social life with braces. Given a chance to go back in time and do it all over again, I would do it again.

#71 Post by **hahasosilly** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 11:40 pm

I rarely smile. I'm so conscious only because I have 4 huge gaps in my mouth (4 bicuspids removed), not because of the braces itself. I guess not smiling affects my social life somehow. People probably think I'm a snob, or weird or something. I try not to smile as much as possible because my smile is so huge and it exposes the gaps, but when I really can't stop myself from smiling, I cover my mouth.

I'm tired of covering my smile because of the hideous gaps.

It's so obvious. I wish there's a way to hide it.

Oh, it's my first post here btw.

Sun Oct 12, 2008 1:12 pm

It really depends how I am feeling at the moment. If I am in a happy, outgoing mood, I am more likely to be all smiley and laughing without feeling the need to cover my mouth. But if I am having a not so great day, I often feel more self-conscious and I usually don't talk/smile/laugh a lot. See, when I was a kid I was very shy and I have always been on the quiet side, but just recently in the past few years, I've become more outgoing and have really made an effort to not be so shy. But getting braces in a way has made me the little shy kid I once was. However, it seems as time goes on, it gets a lot more easier to smile and laugh and talk without constantly thinking "are they staring at my teeth!?".

I've had my braces for nearly eight months now, and I'm glad to say I am definitely less self-conscious than when I first got them. In fact, sometimes I forget they are even there and I'm able to be sociable without being insecure.

#73 Post by **EmBraceAble** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 10:01 am

Faerydust wrote:Other than sometimes staying in when my teeth are super sore, my braces haven't affected my social life at all. I don't have any braces related self-consciousness. If anything I smile more now than before braces because I know I'm doing something to improve my smile.

Faerydust, I do the same thing! I just got my braces at the beginning of October, and I smile so much it is ridiculous!! I sucked my thumb, so my teeth look like a triangle with the top making the sides and the bottom is the bottom. But I feel so good about having braces that I just can't stop smiling!!

#74 Post by **babykitten75** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 7:47 pm

#75 Post by **babykitten75** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 8:21 pm

It kinda helped my love life! Awhile after my boyfriend and I got engaged, I got my braces on and he loves them

He said I look like a hot schoolgirl LOL

We actually just got married September 6th. My Ortho was awesome enough to take the top wire out and the top 6 front brackets off so that when I smile in pictures, you can't even tell I have braces and my smile made me look like a million bucks!!! I had to wear a clear retainer all the time except when eating to keep my teeth from shifting but nobody could even tell I had it on (Of course though, by the time I got married, I already had braces for 2 years so my teeth were pretty much straight, just some gaps in my back teeth)

However, let me tell you that getting the braces off for my wedding and honeymoon was wonderful!!! And then having to get them put back on was really weird. I kinda got that geeky feel for a second, like when I first got them on.

I still feel a little self conscious when I meet new people and smile at them. It kinda gets them off guard, considering I'm 25 years old, not 15! LOL But knowing that my teeth will look perfect when all this is said and done makes it ALL WORTH IT!!!

The only things I avoid (or try to as much as possible) is eating curry or anything else that can stain and popcorn because it likes to get stuck between my teeth! I have never popped a bracket off eating food or anything (knock on wood)