Anyone being teased?

Message

#1 Post by **AviationChick** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 7:53 am

I'm a tough girl - most of the time. But I'm of course pretty sensitive about being 27 and having a mouth full of metal. I knew it was going to be a rough first couple of weeks- especially with how jagged it's made my teeth look but I know that the end result will be fabulous and well worth it.

My problem is, my boss informed me that my "sister office" is taking bets on what my new nickname should be. I find this highly offensive! Grrr - anyone else being teased as if they were in high school all over again? How do you deal with it? I'm always the first to laugh at myself and poke fun at my own flaws but this is really getting me down. I think it's a combination with the constant pain of these things. Today marks the first full 24 hours after getting them on. Can't really eat, and the pain is tolerable but constant. Normal right??

I feel better just being able to vent - I certainly don't want to walk in their office and blow my top...

#2 Post by **Audra** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 8:02 am

No, I have not been teased by anyone at work. My brother-in-law though - that's another story. He teases me about whether or not I'll be able to talk after jaw surgery (so I'll be quiet). Other than that, everyone either doesn't notice or has had complete empathy for me.

If you are bothered by your boss's comment about coming up with a nickname for you, tell him that you would appreciate it if they would drop it because you don't find it funny. Getting mad and staying mad without saying anything does not solve anything and eventually you WILL blow your top.

#3 Post by **Abbey70** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 8:16 am

How juvenile!

Makes me wonder if such people would take bets on what to nickname someone who comes in with leg-braces or hair-loss from chemo?

Still, I agree with the previous poster--talk to your boss and politely say you are not amused by this and wish it to stop.

#4 Post by **AviationChick** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 8:21 am

Thank guys - I just needed to vent a bit before I did go talk to him. I didn't realize how hard I would take this!

#5 Post by **Audra** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 8:37 am

Everything is still really new for you right now and you are bound to be somewhat self-conscious. I could not wait to get my braces. Then when I got them and looked in the mirror, I was taken aback and wondered what I had done. Add in the initial pain and discomfort and the feeling of "will my lips ever feel normal over these huge brackets." It's all completely normal for you to feel the way you do.

After I got over the initial shock, I felt a lot better. I smile more now than I did before I got them and I don't care what anyone thinks. Your feelings about all of this may change down the line. Right now though, I think it's good that you had somewhere to come and vent. Hope you feel better about things soon. And remember, if it really bothers you a lot talk to him. If you think it will settle down or go away, maybe wait and see.

#6 Post by **Candy** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:04 am

No teasing here, but I do kind of do it to myself, so people can see that I am fine with braces. I am concious of them, but I am so happy to finally have them that I can live with them.
I mean, I hated my teeth and smile for years...I still have the same teeth, only this time they are being fixed, I am finally doing something about it!!!
I do find that people glance at me more when I am in the check out line at the store or when I talk to a patient that comes in to my office. I feel myself get a little aggravated by that, but I smile proudly!
Not all of us were born with perfect teeth, and not every one has the means to have braces. I know I wanted them for 20 years, and couldn't do it. There were always other things that needed to be paid. With this tough economy, it's getting even harder to justify things like this--that are voluntary. I am so grateful that I am a brace face! LOL

#7 Post by **UGHBRACES** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:22 am

Audra wrote:No, I have not been teased by anyone at work. My brother-in-law though - that's another story. He teases me about whether or not I'll be able to talk after jaw surgery (so I'll be quiet). Other than that, everyone either doesn't notice or has had complete empathy for me.

If you are bothered by your boss's comment about coming up with a nickname for you, tell him that you would appreciate it if they would drop it because you don't find it funny. Getting mad and staying mad without saying anything does not solve anything and eventually you WILL blow your top.

Completely disagree. The last thing you want to do is let them know it bothers you, that could just make it worse for you. Just poke fun and laugh at yourself with them. That will make it less fun for them.

#8 Post by **snashe** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:38 am

UGHBRACES wrote: Completely disagree. The last thing you want to do is let them know it bothers you, that could just make it worse for you. Just poke fun and laugh at yourself with them. That will make it less fun for them.

i completely disagree with you too, i have been thinking the way you do when i was a teenager (and had HARD times with this) but when i grown up i understood that maturity grown on me and also on others.

If you use anger to please someone to stop to make fun of you, it will eventually be worse but if you tell that it simply bother you; things may stop.
people arent that stupid, they may have fun of someone without thinking it may bother the person but once they figure it out, they may be intelligent enought to stop. If they dont, they are just plain stupid and deserve to be smached in the face till they cry
but people arent stupid, most of the time, they are just ignorants (as i am)

#9 Post by **jenjen** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:25 am

I'm with UGHBRACES- don't let it show, just laugh along with it. If you don't let it (visibly) bother you, it's less fun for them. Just accept that for the next couple of years, you're going to be Ugly Betty and that's just the way it is! In a week or 2 everyone will be laughing at something else and your braces will be unnoticed.

I'm an aviation chick too- luckily most of the male pilots never even noticed mine. Family have been my worst teasers!

JJ

#10 Post by **descantus** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:46 pm

What idiots! Pretending it doesn't bother you is definitely the best route to go.

Might I suggest a technique that has worked very well for me? I had one guy loudly musing on what nickname to call me, so replied (with a big jokey smile of course) "Ok then Mr perfect lets have a look at YOUR chompers then!" The smile vanished from his face in an instant but I was still able to make out his jagged ciggie-stained teeth, and took great pleasure pointing them out to everyone else. No more comments from him since

#11 Post by **danish** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 2:57 pm

deserve to be smached in the face till they cry

I like that expression! Hehe. But I agree with many people here. When people do cross your line, you have to stand up for yourself and tell them that what they are saying is unacceptable. Just laughing with them and be stepped upon (if their remarks are hurtful for you) does not necessarily make the teasing/bullying go away. On the contrary, it may end up being the normal way to deal with you as you don't appear to be bothered by it or worse: you don't express where you limits are in terms of acceptable behaviour.
Social dynamics can be very tricky. It's a somewhat cynical observation but some people WILL step on you if you allow them to and don't assert yourself! Unfortunately.
I think that I know what I'm talking about since I was bullied most of the time in school before high school because I didn't have the skills to assert myself. Surprisingly, adults are in regard to bullying not always less cruel than kids....

So what to do? Talk to your boss that his remarks are out of line. If that does not help, I would go for a HR-person in the company. If there is none, go to the boss of your boss. Always go to the top! If that fails, you have to be creative. If you are organized, you could talk to your union etc.

good luck!

Danish

#12 Post by **switchblades** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 3:45 pm

I was teased more before braces as a kid, my teeth were so bad! So I'm still a little sensitive about my teeth, but not my braces - I look 10 times BETTER with braces, now that theyv'e begun to work a bit

You could try talking to your boss though, or the HR person at yourwork. My friends all tease me a little, but they do it in good humor, not to be offensive.

The entire office though, that's just cruel! Definitely talk to someoen at work and elt them know that their behaviour is insulting and will not be condoned!

#13 Post by **rolo** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 3:52 pm

I think I might respond by asking why they have so much time on their hands that they are bored enough to think about what's going on in your mouth - they really need to get a life, and some work to do by the sounds of things.

I can't believe they are so dull that's the only excitement in their lives, they really should take up a sport or an evening class or something.

#14 Post by **TigerLily** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 4:01 pm

When I first got my braces, a person in the office made fun of me. It's nothing personal, that person is generally rude in an English 'pisstake' kind of way (which I am a bit too!) I said actually this is a big thing for me and your comments are making it harder and he realised he was being insensitive (or was perceived to be) and shut up about it completely.

#15 Post by **snashe** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:57 pm

Might I suggest a technique that has worked very well for me?

a technique ?!
which game are you playing with your human relationships ?

If you don't let it (visibly) bother you, it's less fun for them.

so your advice is: lie to others, lie to yourself and with some luck people will stop to tease you once they belive your lies ?!
great idea!

Please stop to try to belive you are superman and admit you are human as everyone is.
Being upset is human and teasing should stop once the teasers realize that you are human and that you are upset as they could be too. But for this thing to happend, the teasers need to realise that you are upset and that you are human. But how could they realise it if you try to hide it ?

Strongness doesnt come from the eradication of weakness, it comes from admiting you have weakness and from handling them with strengh.
But the fact is that if you have braces, you are unperfect! (why would you get braces if everything is perfect ?

) What a weakness isnt ? And worse, it shows on your face (hrmm on your teeth at least)!

Just my two cents but i also have to mention that i hate people because they often dont say what they really think; lying and manipulation sucks so much and can go in such fu**ed up situations... and actually this is something that upset me

At last, i found many people on this forum acting the otherway and handling things as they are, people who play the game in a "simple and stupid" way and this is really inspirating; here come the occasion to thank to all of them

(thankfulness better than anger)

'cia