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Just wanted to see how you (someone who is single) has gone about dating and going out to bars and whatnot and meeting people.
I am 32, single, and have had braces for the last 8 months. I had 4 teeth pulled (next to canines) so rigth now I have 4 gaping holes that are very noticeable when I smile. I don't mind the braces at all, I have gotten completely used to them and have no problem having them... except when it comes to going out with my friends and meeting guys. I get very self-conscious and shy and tend not to want to meet anyone new.
Anyone else been here? If so, how did you get over it? It's very silly I know but I think I am just scared of the potential rejection when a guy realizes I have braces. And I know, if someone was to do this, I shouldn't want to know them anyway but that's easier said than believed. Again, silly, I know! Would love to hear from anyone whose been in this situation
First of all you are right when you say that if a guy is so shallow that he minds you having braces, he is probably not worth it… despite of this I have to say that I understand you perfectly! Although I’m not single, I too am a bit self-conscious about how I look. More because of the gaps than because of my braces …
Even if at first the people you meet are “curiousâ€
A better question is, would braces on someone else turn you off from dating them?
If yes, then what you're really afraid of is that most people think like you do. If no, then why should most people think any differently than you do about braces?
Braces are like any other attribute that may or may not attract someone. Some people are turned off by someone who is overweight. Some people are turned off by short height. Some people are turned off by the lack of a college degree. Some people are turned off by balding heads.
What it really comes down to is how much self-confidence you have? The laws of dating dictate that some people will be attracted to you and some will not - with or without braces. The confidence comes in by not allowing those who are not attracted to you to affect your self-esteem.
What do you have to offer? If your teeth are the deal breaker then you have a lot more to worry about than just your braces. On the flip side, if you have a lot to offer then that's what will attract someone and your braces will count for very little in the grander scheme.
I'll share with you a story that happened to me last weekend. Yes, I'm single, I date, and I'm 4 1/2 months into braces. I met some friends for a concert in the park and afterwords we sat down to a table in a wine bar. After a couple of drinks they left so I found a seat at the bar, ordered a glass of wine, and started to watch the NCAA tournament on the monitor behind the bar. Two women sitting next to me - who I guess to be in their late 30s or early 40s - asked me what I was drinking and from there we started talking. Not once did either of these women mention my braces. In fact, the main topic of discussion surrounded my trying to convince them that I was actually single with no kids and that I wasn't there trying to pick up women. They complimented me on my attire and my body, but never said a word about my braces. In the end, one of the women handed me her card.
The point being, I don't act self-conscious or dwell on the fact that I have braces. When I smile, I smile BIG. As long as I don't have food stuck in my braces I feel like I have no reason to be conscious about anything other than my overall appearance and my personality.
Braces aren't going to hurt your dating chances any more or any less than before you got them - UNLESS you allow it by letting it mess with your head.
[quote="theKurp"]A better question is, would braces on someone else turn you off from dating them?
AWESOME post by "theKurp" and one all of us single adults should live by! I'm gonna save this post just incase I forget for a moment that all of this is SO VERY TRUE!
I'm 43, single - and will be getting braces in the near future. The dating thing has gone in and out of my head - but it isn't going to stop me from doing what must be done with regard to the future health of my teeth/bite.
And if some guy is hung up by the fact that I have braces, then SEE YA! I see it as a great way to weed out the jerky boys!
Hmmm- if I end up joining Match.com again I might even take a picture of me in my braces and use it as my MAIN profile photo!
I'm not single myself, but I'm sure I remember reading a story on this message board a long time ago about someone who looked upon braces as a whole new start, took up guitar lessons, and ended up dating the guitar teacher . Braces obviously weren't a hindrance in her case!
I'd be a little cautious about using an ostentatious braces picture on a dating site though. [See the admin's warnings about posting full-face pictures on this board]
sauerkraut wrote:I'd be a little cautious about using an ostentatious braces picture on a dating site though. [See the admin's warnings about posting full-face pictures on this board]
Thanks for the warning - I was just joking around about posting it on match.com.
Wow!! I can't thank you all enough for your stories, your advice and your awesome supportive words!! Just knowing that I am not alone and that some of you have shared the same feelings, it's so reassuring and I can't thank you enough. You all bring up some great pointers and I am so ready to go out to a bar and start meeting people... this is exactly what I needed (too bad it's a Friday night and absolutely pouring and freezing, better luck tomorrow!)
As Beth1966 said, I am going to save this post and read it right before I go out with my friends. I wish we all lived in the same area, we could all go out together
Eric805 wrote:Having braces is more of a problem for guys than women lets be honest...
I'm gonna have to think about how that could be the case!!! LOL!
But aside from 'that', - atleast you don't have to deal with lipstick and lipgloss getting on your braces, and guys in general - - I think - - can just carry braces off better. If that makes sense?
Also don't ya think a woman's looks are judged and scrutinized more closely then men? Maybe I am being unfair, but I just think society has demonstrated that men tend to judge a woman by her looks far more then women judge men. Not saying that is the case with men on here - I'm talking generalizations here.
Happy story. I started dating my now husband about a month before I got braces. I waited until about a week before I actually got my braces to tell him I was heading toward braces (and upper and lower jaw surgery) over the next year and half. It made no difference to him at all, it was he liked me for me. That's how I know he was a winner. Throughout our first year he nursed me through recovery from jaw surgery and PROPOSED. I am now married with a great smile (braces are off). I had my braces (ceramic) for my wedding and no one cared! If you find the right person, it just won't matter. GOOD LUCK finding the one
Happy story. I started dating my now husband about a month before I got braces. I waited until about a week before I actually got my braces to tell him I was heading toward braces (and upper and lower jaw surgery) over the next year and half. It made no difference to him at all, it was he liked me for me. That's how I know he was a winner. Throughout our first year he nursed me through recovery from jaw surgery and PROPOSED. I am now married with a great smile (braces are off). I had my braces (ceramic) for my wedding and no one cared! If you find the right person, it just won't matter. GOOD LUCK finding the one
Smile2006-- Does your husband have a single brother???
And I do have to agree with Beth1966... I think guys carry them off better. Now that I have them, I notice teeth, and braces, so much more! I have met a handful of men who have them (through work, volunteering, etc...) and they just don't seem as noticeable. Maybe they just don't show their teeth as much when they talk or smile. Who knows!?!?!
