I just knew I would come home crying:(

[meemsie]

I know how you feel exactly. I've been moping around, having my own crying rounds for a couple of months now. I've gone to eight different ortho consults and seven out of eight said I probably needed two or four premolar extractions. One of the orthos at the Harvard dental school even suggested offhandedly I might even need jaw surgery (I didn't take him seriously despite his credentials...I think he was too used to handling complex cases no one else was willing to take on--mine is a very moderate case.)! Oddly enough, three said I might get away with no extractions or surgery if I was willing to give up an ideal bite and profile. The ortho I was leaning toward saw me look upset at the second consult, and he frankly told me, "Look, if extractions causes you mental anguish, you don't have to do it." I had also tried to ask him what was the ideal bite and smile, and he said that everyone is different. I probably will go with the extractions, but I appreciated that he was at least trying to be sensitive to my mental state.

I know how you feel about the "ugly" feeling. I've always hated how I photographed in candids, especially from the side or with my mouth open, and I never quite understood why I didn't like it. I actually thought on a good day--when I was looking straight in the mirror or had photographed just the front of my face with mouth closed, I was kind of pretty in my own way. Then all these orthodontists started pointing out I had developed an overjet (5mm) and my lips protruded, and that was not "aesthetically ideal". Then I made the mistake of looking at all these old high school photos. And I thought, "Oh, Holy Cow! They are right! I've had this protrusion thing for years! I've been looking awful most of my life!" Talk about blow to my self-confidence. But you know, photos are just frozen glimpses. When your face is animated, you always look better than you ever realize. I've come to the realization, that most people don't look at me from the side and my mouth moves so fast while talking that people don't notice the overjet anyway. I asked all my family and friends if they noticed the protrusion issue (think chimp-like) and they said they never noticed it until I pointed it out. Then I was at a family reunion the other day, and I noticed all my cousins and my mother had the similar protrusion, and I had never noticed it before. In fact, I had always thought my mom was nice-looking lady. Yes, I look at TV, magazines, and people on the train, and I can see what the experts mean by "aesthetically ideal" profiles. But some of us are genetically predisposed to look a certain way.

So if you are mentally anguished, then perhaps ask yourself if you are doing it just for aesthetics, or if the long term health of your jaw and teeth will benefit from the treatment. If it's the latter, well, there you go. It's probably worth it if you've thoroughly done your research and several experts proposed similar treatments. If it's just aesthetics, then do some soul-searching, and remember that people will love you for who you are, and 99 percent of the time, they won't notice your chin, lips, or teeth. If you want to do it for aesthetics, that's perfectly legit too, but rather than make yourself miserable in the present, remember the end goal will make you happy. They do say that more smiling can lead to heightened happiness. So once you've done your due diligence, focus on the end goal. Good luck!