Is this normal or strange behavior for an orthodontist?

[christa]

my mom asked me if my orthodontist is a pervert and i started thinking...sorry if this gets long.

- he always says "where's my christa" or "where's my favorite patient?" or “there's my star!"
- wipes his gloved hand on my chest where the bib is while he's working on my teeth.
- i was about to leave the office last month and he called me back in just so he could touch my arms and pull me forward and back to show me how my teeth are gonna move.
- gave me his personal cell number and asked for my cell and e-mail to keep in touch so he could talk to me about getting TADS. He called me at home once to talk about progress at 8:30 at night.

am i reading too much into it, like is he just a caring ortho? you know when someone asks you something and then you cant stop thinking about it...is my mom wrong? she's saying this because her co-worker knows gossip about my ortho and said he's a don juan. by the way, he is in his 60s and i am in my early 20s.

[Robot Teeth]

I don't really see anything here that would cause me to think that someone is a pervert. I'm just taking what you said at face value, so I can't pick up on his vibe like you can. But I do think young girls think that just about everything is creepy nowadays.


- he always says "where's my christa" or "where's my favorite patient?" or “there's my star!" - I'll be he says that to a large percentage of his patients, as a matter of habit and to make you feel special. Don't forget you're a little older than most of his patients, even though he might have.
- wipes his gloved hand on my chest where the bib is while he's working on my teeth. - So does my male dentist, and I'm a guy, so should I wonder if he's gay? I don't think so. If he can get any excitement from wiping the back of his gloved finger on your chest for a half a second in order to remove some gunk, then that's pretty remarkable!
- i was about to leave the office last month and he called me back in just so he could touch my arms and pull me forward and back to show me how my teeth are gonna move. - Not really enough info here to make a judgement... Sounds pretty harmless and maybe even informative.
- gave me his personal cell number and asked for my cell and e-mail to keep in touch so he could talk to me about getting TADS. He called me at home once to talk about progress at 8:30 at night. - Sorta strange, maybe a tiny bit tacky. Once isn't a big deal. If it keeps happening, then you could make it known that you think it's a little strange to be in touch later in the evening and see how he reacts.

No huge red flags here. I wouldn't worry. I'm just speculating, but I'd ask yourself if anything distasteful has really taken place. It sounds like it hasn't.

[loradora]

I don't know about pervert, but his behavior does send up red flags for me. Are there usually other people in the room when you're with him? Exchanging cell phone numbers and email addresses doesn't sound right either. He can talk to you in the office. I'd watch out for him.

[Kipepeo]

I think it's weird. Showing you how your teeth move by physically moving your body is over the top. Sharing personal cell numbers, weird. The glove wiping and the talk...not so weird. Although my regular dentist only ever touches the bib up in the corner near my shoulder.

[Jenn B]

My ortho called me at 9pm one night to see how my progress was going, if I had any discomfort and to remind me to call if anything is bothering me. He did the same thing for my son.

Some people are just overly friendly and sometimes don't realize if they are making you uncomfortable. If he's making you uncomfortable then maybe speak up.

[kaddessi]

My orthodontist called me at 7:30 the night I got my braces on. I was in class so couldn't answer but he basically said how the next day would be painful and to call if anything goes wrong. He said to call the office but if its really an emergency to call his cell and he gave me the number.
I don't think you have anything to worry about. He is used to working with children, not many adults.

[christa]

ahh i forgot to mention two other things- he asked me who i was living with. he claimed he wanted to know when consulting me about a night brace. another time he said, " can i ask you a personal question?" and asked me when i was getting married to my boyfriend. mind you, i am not an open person like that. he only knew i had a bf from asking me if i had one another time. idk, it's weird to me. and i'm stuck with this guy for another year and a half.

[peaches]

Some of the stuff you mentioned sounds a little weird/overly familiar. The physical stuff is what would concern me the most, and the two things you mentioned are open to interpretation. He could be a dirty old man or perhaps just not have a good understanding of professional boundaries. The good thing is that as an orthodontist he has no real excuse to examine other parts of your body, so it will be clear if he really crosses the line. Just be thankful he's not your gynecologist I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and if it gets flirty or inappropriate in the future, make it clear that you are not comfortable.

[plugnickel69]

This behavior sounds really creepy to me. He's certainly in the business long enough to know the boundaries. But I believe you also have an obligation to let him know he's making you feel uncomfortable. It doesn't have to be a confrontation. The next time he makes a comment, asks a question, or touches you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, you need to say to him just that: "That comment makes me feel uncomfortable," or "I feel uncomfortable being asked a question like that," or "Excuse me, but I feel uncomfortable when you do that." You don't have to make a big deal about it at the time, but if he doesn't immediately pull back or indicate he's sorry, then you might want to consult with a lawyer. You have an obligation to yourself to protect yourself. You might also want to consider what he might be saying/doing to the children under his care. You can do this!

[DrJasonKTam]

I have heard a lot of doctors talk about their favourite patients or "stars". However, I'm sure it is used with a lot of your patients.

A lot of dentists have a bad habit of placing instruments on or using the bib for wiping off. My staff are told that this is completely unacceptable. Apart from protecting your clothing, the bib also confers some privacy for women who may otherwise feel somewhat exposed while lying down. I'd be more worried if he didn't bib you.

The touching and showing you how the teeth are supposed to move. Again, there is a certain generation of dentists who felt this was acceptable. One of my teachers used to joke around with some of the kids and pat their shoulders in the hair with both hands while they were lying down, or pull some of the girl's pony tails. I am sure this was all harmless, but understand it may make some people feel uncomfortable.

Personal email/cell phone... your contact information should be available as a part of your file, so it may be a bit strange to ask you for it. My staff members are responsible for calling the patients. They specify that they are calling "on behalf of Dr. Tam" as to not send the wrong message to patients.

In all, as stated above, these interactions have made you feel uncomfortable, but probably going a bit far to call him a "pervert". Either you can continue to let this happen and feel that way, or you can bring it up in a non-offensive way (it's me, not you, type of scenario). If it bothers you enough and the activity continues, you may have to consider another doctor.

[Marigold]

Sounds creepy to me, too. True, some doctors are more touchy-feely than others. But combined with all of the other things you mentioned, I do think he is crossing the line. Asking if he can ask you a personal question about your boyfriend is really creepy. How is he with his other patients? Next time he gets too handsy, subtly pull away. If he tries to get cutesy, don't smile or giggle or anything, just respond professionally. Act aloof like you're not amused. This way, you're letting him know that he needs to back off without making a federal case out of it. Hopefully that will be enough. If not, I'd start looking for a new ortho pronto.

When I was first going to ortho consults, one of them told me he liked my hair. When I told him I was apprehensive about getting braces at my age, he said, "Oh, we get hot looking chicks in here all the time." Needless to say I did not choose him as my orthodontist. Maybe he was harmless, but doctors should conduct themselves more professionally.

[Crazy4Snow]

I don't know. I guess I'd have to be there to actually see it first hand, sometimes stuff gets lost in translation. I do know that today some people are so over the top with political correctness and boundaries and professionalism that people have forgotten what "friendly" really is. My ortho called me the evening of the day I got my braces and the day after just to check on me, I thought it was a very nice thing to do.

My best advice would be to simply "keep an eye" on him, know what I mean?

[klobird]

My ortho is the exact opposite--he treats me like a mouth and that is it....he is always off in lala land like he's studying for a test in his mind...he's 32 and looks like Doogie Houser, everyone says that. I actually really wish he were a lot friendlier,
but I have come to the conclusion that he's just a dweeb. But really--not as "friendly" as yours!!! For sure!!!

[Kipepeo]

My ortho is silly and jokes about how all the lady assistants keep him in line, just like his wife does. It's a friendly harmless banter that does not bother me, but may bother others. I'm kind of like Crazy4Snow...I do like more friendly type behavior in general, even from health professionals. In fact I'm very playful and make jokes a lot. But I would raise an eyebrow with some of the stuff the OP listed out.

[Iam918]

My ortho's a friendly chap as well. It's one of the reasons I chose his office. I hate dentists, doctors, etc and his whole staff made me feel very comfortable. I've never seen him do anything that'd suggest more than just being friendly to any of his patients though.

However, I do catch one of his assistants staring at me when she thinks I'm not looking. She always smiles, waves and comes up to talk to me when I get to the office as well. Can't say I don't enjoy the attention though Doesn't hurt that she is gorgeous w/ these baby blue eyes I could get lost in for days.

anyways . . . .