My Husband's Teeth :( UPDATED!!!!

[BraceMD]

I have been braced for over 2 months now. My teeth have been doing some spectacular straightening. My husband, upon seeing my teeth look so much nicer, went to a consultation with my ortho today, and I went with him.

And I didn't realize it, but my orthodontist is a jerk. From the start of the conversation, the orthodontist asked my husband, "How much are you willing to do to get perfect teeth?" and my husband replied, "Anything but surgery."

Well the consultation went downhill from there. The ortho was just plain condescending about my husband's aversion to surgery. Then, when we tried to ask questions about the oral surgery, the ortho would reply, "Nope. I can't talk about that. I am not an oral surgeon so I don't know how the procedure is performed at all."

It was just not a pleasant time. We both left the consult in a bad mood, and there's no way my husband (who does have a complicated case) will consider going to that guy... what a bummer!

I guess this was just a vent...

BraceMD

[swan]

Bummer. You must feel weird going back to your ortho now

It find it totally normal to want anything but surgery. The ortho could just have told him what he'd be able to do with surgery and what he'd be able to do without surgery. In the end, your husband might even have overcome his aversion depending on the expected results.

[mslinda70]

I also went to 3 ortho' s and they all suggested i needed surgery, well for starters at that time i didnt weigh but 103 and at this moment i have gained 20lbs which im so proud of, and they want me to break my jaw and i told them look i dont want to do that, first because of my weight, second time off from work, third cost and i can have a perfect smile without doing that, so finally i went on the internet and found this other ortho by the grace of god, went to him and guess what im getting braces on august 29. i was so happy

I have been braced for over 2 months now. My teeth have been doing some spectacular straightening. My husband, upon seeing my teeth look so much nicer, went to a consultation with my ortho today, and I went with him.

And I didn't realize it, but my orthodontist is a jerk. From the start of the conversation, the orthodontist asked my husband, "How much are you willing to do to get perfect teeth?" and my husband replied, "Anything but surgery."

Well the consultation went downhill from there. The ortho was just plain condescending about my husband's aversion to surgery. Then, when we tried to ask questions about the oral surgery, the ortho would reply, "Nope. I can't talk about that. I am not an oral surgeon so I don't know how the procedure is performed at all."

It was just not a pleasant time. We both left the consult in a bad mood, and there's no way my husband (who does have a complicated case) will consider going to that guy... what a bummer!

I guess this was just a vent...

BraceMD

[Tim]

I have been braced for over 2 months now. My teeth have been doing some spectacular straightening. My husband, upon seeing my teeth look so much nicer, went to a consultation with my ortho today, and I went with him.

And I didn't realize it, but my orthodontist is a jerk. From the start of the conversation, the orthodontist asked my husband, "How much are you willing to do to get perfect teeth?" and my husband replied, "Anything but surgery."

Well the consultation went downhill from there. The ortho was just plain condescending about my husband's aversion to surgery. Then, when we tried to ask questions about the oral surgery, the ortho would reply, "Nope. I can't talk about that. I am not an oral surgeon so I don't know how the procedure is performed at all."

It was just not a pleasant time. We both left the consult in a bad mood, and there's no way my husband (who does have a complicated case) will consider going to that guy... what a bummer!

I guess this was just a vent...

BraceMD

Maybe he was having a rough day? I mean you seem to be having normal experiance with this ortho right? I know you're not supposed to bring you're personal life to work, but lets be reasonable....NO ONE can do that.
Give him the benefit of a doubt... and if all else fails, maybe this ortho isn't "experianced" enough for your husbands complicated case and your husband should see a different ortho

[bbsadmin]

Sheesh, you'd think that your ortho would be thrilled that you're bringing him another patient!

I think it's perfectly normal to be unwilling to do surgery (unless it's absolutely necessary). After all, it's your body and you are in charge of what happens to it!

[Teigyr]

Maybe he just wasn't thinking, the ortho that is.

When I went into consult, I almost got the same reaction. I don't think they realize that we had no idea that we needed surgery! After the initial shock, I saw the surgeon and a second opinion ortho. My ortho was right...he just, perhaps, wasn't as warm and fuzzy as he could've been. He also gave me options but the options weren't really that great either.

Maybe your husband should see someone else just to see what they say. If #1 is competent and if the stories are the same, then he could make up his mind where he is going to go.

[mtbrncofn]

Yikes. I'd be so irritable that I had to continue my own treatment when I witnessed my own ortho treat my husband like that.

What a bummer. Hopefully that didn't dissuade your hubby from getting what he wants done, sans surgery of course.

[rooroo]

That sucks! I hope its not too akward going back to your ortho.

The time off, cost and pain of surgery is all one thing, but many people forget that any time you get general anesthesia, its a risk to your life. There's a chance you could never wake up from it, especially if you have an undiagnosed heart condition. Plus many surgeries can have bad side effects, such as allergic reactions or nerve or joint damage. So surgery really should be done only when necessary.

[braces]

Let me start by saying that I can relate to your husband's experience. I had a very similar situation. Fortunately for me, I got two more opinions and both agreed I did NOT need surgery. Having two consecutive opinions was very reassuring. So, with that said, make sure your husband does the same. The best thing you can do is get as much input from as many credible docs as possible and then make an informed decision.

On another note, maybe surgery is the answer. I know it seems extreme, but if he is uncomfortable enough with his teeth to see an ortho, maybe with a little time he'll feel better about the possiblilities of surgery. I guess that's where you kick in with your love and support and let him know that you are behind him 100% no matter what road he chooses. I know my wife was very influencial in my decision. Having her millon dollar smile tell me to go for it made it all very worthwhile.

One last note, we're so lucky to have a board like this to "vent". For every issue like this one, there are 20 others out there that are/have experienced the same type thing.

Good luck!!!

[Dmourning]

I also had a very poor experience with the first ortho I visited.

As soon as he came in the room and started examining my mouth he asked me who my dentist was. After I told him his reply was (in the most ocean tone I've ever heard from a dentist/ortho), "And he just NOW told you that you need braces?"

Then he said outright I need palatte expansion surgery and there is no way around it. He said "I'm not even going to touch your mouth until you get this surgery".

I left very angry and very dejected about ever getting my teeth fixed. Thankfully I started calling around a week later and found an ortho that was 1. actually willing to see new patients at a time convenient for working adults and 2. committed to treatment without extractions or surgery when possible. Now here I am in braces with my teeth almost looking good.

Make sure your husband gets other opinions!

[alyssabunny]

I am so sorry to hear about your ortho treating your husband that way. I have been lucky to find an ortho who was willing to treat me without surgery (although I am still trying to figure out if the extra pain is worth it or if I will get good results). I have had some interactions with orthos trying to force surgery and extractions on me so I totally understand what your husband is going through.

I know you must be discouraged but hopefully he will find a more suitable ortho.

My fiancee and I got braced together and it has been a wonderful experience (he only needs a touch up so he will be in and out of braces in a year whereas mine could take two to three years). I am a little jealous that he will get them removed before I do but grateful that he is doing this with me.

Good luck

Alyssa

[BraceMD]

Thank you everyone, for your kind comments. After the ortho visit yesterday, I was afraid my husband was angry and discouraged enough to give up the entire idea of orthodontics.

But now, a day later, we are talking about calling around and getting other consultations. It's going to be damn inconvenient, and a little strange, with us both going to different orthodontists... but the fact of the matter is that my ortho obviously is not comfortable with treating my husband without surgery, and he (and I) just do not want to have his jaw broken (I called an oral surgeon and they said that "jaw expanding surgeries" usually involve a 2 day hospital stay... it's just too much).

My husband's teeth are very complicated, poor guy, but there has to be a way to make his teeth better without breaking his jaw. Maybe not perfect, but better. (His lower jawbone is really small- resulting in a 10 mm overbite. I love his little jaw- it makes him look so cute! I wouldn't WANT them to realign it because I like it the way it is!)


Thanks for listening (err, reading), everyone!

[Tim]

Maybe he was having a rough day? I mean you seem to be having normal experiance with this ortho right? I know you're not supposed to bring you're personal life to work, but lets be reasonable....NO ONE can do that.
Give him the benefit of a doubt... and if all else fails, maybe this ortho isn't "experianced" enough for your husbands complicated case and your husband should see a different ortho

Whilst everyone has good days and bad days, if you are in a customer-facing profession, you'd better not let that impact how you conduct yourself at work! And condescension is entirely unacceptible behaviour in a so-called medical professional.

Even professionals are human


Good deal "BraceMD"!! If he really wants to improve his teeth visiting a different ortho then you is a small price to pay

[Kayla]

I must have a good ortho. I had 3 options to choose from 1. braces top only (12mnths) 2. braces top and bottom (18mnths.) 3. braces top and bottom and jaw surgery to move my jaw forward (24mnths.
He didn't get upset at all that I didn't want surgery and was comfortable with what ever decision I made. He wanted surgery but didn't try to force it on me.
BTW: I opted for #2 and been braced top since Jan. '05 and bottom since June '05

[greencapt]

***SORRY ABOUT THE LONG POST, SKIP TO THE END FOR MY CONCLUSION IF YOU LIKE!***

Hi BMD! I also had a similar experience. But first let me ask- are you really an MD? Also how 'bad' are your teeth.

I ask because A) my teeth are a complicated lot and B) my wife is a Family Practice MD (and I her office manager )

When I decided that my years of ignoring my teeth's shape and condition were over I first went to a 'respected' dentist to get a consult. This dentist did mainly implants and surgeries but shared an office with his wife who was a general dentist. I thought this would be great because I wouldn't have to go to several clinics. I wanted to know my options from A to Z, or in this case from taking them all out and getting dentures to leaving them alone. Bear in mind that I am 34. This first dentist *sorta* gave me options but didn't really listen to me. He made impressions as part of his 'initial' exam but later charged me $250 dollars extra for them as part of a 'implant workup'. He then said he'd consult with his wife about the general dentristry that I would need. On my second visit to go over his ideas my wife came with me. Discovering she was an MD, the dentist spoke ONLY to her (with me in front of him!) and he became a condescending prick. He said palate surgery was my only option and that because I had asked for all options he assumed I was a pain wuss and said that the extractions I needed would all have to be done at once and under general anesthesia. He also indicated that he would do implants but that his wife wouldn't do my general work so he had set up an appoinment with another general dentist in town.

Needless to say this left a bad taste in my mouth. BUT I kept the appointment with the other dentist.

So I went for THAT consult and that dentist, about my same age (not that that matters), took one look at my mouth and almost recoiled. I could tell instantly by the look on his face that he thought I was too much work. Now my teeth are *crooked* (or crowded like those orthos like to say) and I needed some extractions but I was going to these 'professionals' with my pride in my hand asking for help and knowing full well that I 'should have had work done a long time ago'. He also said that I would need to get my palate split and spread as well. This second consult basically served to depress me and had me questioning my self-worth. Luckily I started to think about how both of these dentists were newer in our town. I also thought about how as an MD my wife and I have to struggle endlessly to get insurances to pay for even routine health care for our patients but how dentists mostly don't take insurance and even for people with dental insurance here in the States it doesn't pay for much. THAT led me to think about the nice new BMWs and Porches these dentists were driving- paid for easily with the sweet profits from $1500 implants and $250 useless 'prep work' impressions. But I digress- sorry.

So, fearing that my depression would increase if I saw yet another dentist, I called an 'old-school' local ortho who had braced just about everyone I know who has had braces. His consult was FREE (the others weren't and I was already out about $550 so far to find out NOTHING) so I took a gamble and went. And you know what? Nice people, no condenscending attitude (evening knowing my wife was an MD) and he genuinely seemed *excited* about the challenge I represented! He said the surgery was not need as I had plenty of room to move in my mouth. He did want to expand my palate with 6 months wearing a Quad Helix though. AND he recommended another 'old-school' town dentist for me to go to and get my extractions and prep done. Even THAT dentist was/is wonderful and I had 8 extractions over a few visits without a lick of pain! Great stuff!

So the moral of my story is: look around, don't take crap off of anyone, and feel free to question the 'professionals' motivations.

After all- it is YOUR (or your husband's in this case) MOUTH! Any health care provider should be there for YOU as a patient and take into consideration your hopes and fears and speak to you in a civil manner. Just because someone has training and perhaps technical skill that is no excuse for being an ass.

I hope this has helped!