family support

[ssfw]

There is nothing wrong with getting orthodontic treatment for vanity reasons. If you think about it, alot of people get ortho treatment to improve their dental health but at the same time getting their teeth straightened, overjet reduced, etc., which I think are being done for vanity reasons. If it wasn't why are they doing it?

You're an adult now and can make these decisions without justifying why you are choosing to proceed with ortho treatment. At the same time, you are paying for the ortho treatment yourself. Do you already have your braces or are you suppose to get them in the near future? If you haven't already gotten your braces, don't change your mind unless something comes up and you are not able to afford it. You're still on the younger side so ortho treatment will be alot easier for you.

Good luck.

ssfw

[gsx]

-same as many of you, I feel a complex of guilty because of having braces at 25. My parents simply never care if my teeth was aligned or not (it seemed but it was not, as has been revealed now) but they are older (in fact, my parents are really my grandparents, they do adopted me at age 2) and they had other problems, like the drug adicction of my sister.

So my personal guiltyness is because when I was a kid liked girls with braces (fetishism?, curiosity?)
Now I'm going to wear them for medical reasons (my front teeth was getting sharp because of underbiteing) and why not, for stetic pruporse also. (the post of viewtopic.php?t=7630&highlight=approach has a lot of reason! )

I'll continue telling you my feelings through the posts

Cheers

[missing_tooth]

Now I'm going to wear them for medical reasons (my front teeth was getting sharp because of underbiteing) and why not, for stetic pruporse also.

What is stetic? Unable to find in the dictionary.

[Destor]

Now I'm going to wear them for medical reasons (my front teeth was getting sharp because of underbiteing) and why not, for stetic pruporse also.

What is stetic? Unable to find in the dictionary.

Probobly meant Aesthetic. Even if you are getting braces for aesthetic reasons, chances are in the process you'll fix problems with your bite not lining up, chewing, grinding, stuff that will make you regret not having it done once you're older.

[SueFromNJ]

I actually had alot of anger at my parents for refusing to fix my teeth. My parents had the money but were very socially naive, and never ever considered getting me braces. They thought braces were vain and for "other people". My general dentist told them year after year that leaving my teeth severely crooked and crowded was a doing me a "disservice" and still my parents refused to listen.

So I grew up with an ugly smile and ugly teeth. It's hard to explain, but it's like my parents and family completely accepted I was the "ugly" one and that could never be changed, and I needed to accept that too!! Even to this day, my parents NEVER saw fixing my teeth as their responsibility. Never! It was my crooked teeth, my problem, and I needed to accept that this was the way I looked, and that's just the way it is.

Even worse, I grew up in a wealthy community where EVERY kid without perfect teeth got braces!! There was not one other kid in my classes had crooked teeth that wasn't fixed with braces. And was it any surprise I had no dates, and was teased all throughout school, and had no self-esteem?

Fast forward to today ..... I am in my mid 30's, and my braces should be off sometime during 2006! I paid for the surgery and braces entirely on my own with no insurance. And the change to my face is amazing. I tell people that I have a whole new face, and it's true! It's like my face was hidden all these years behind my horrible teeth, and now it's emerging! My parents still give the old "braces were your decision" speech, but I think they see the change to my face and realize what a difference a smile makes. But still they will never admit that leaving my teeth crooked was incredibly damaging to my self-esteem, and all the negative things that go with it.

I think this is a very important thread, as intentionally leaving your child "ugly" is a cruel thing to do. I know some believe "it's what's on the inside that counts" but IT ISN'T TRUE! You NEED a good smile and appearance to get anywhere nowadays. It isn't vanity, it's necessity!! Thank goodness I took the initiative and now got the smile I desperatedly needed all these years!

[weird_wired]

You know, I don't think there is really any such thing as orthodontics purely for vanity, except perhaps in the case of veneers being used to create a superficially even line (and is that even orthodontics?)

All crooked or crowded teeth are more likely to cause problems - gum, bite, jaw, decay - than straight, properly fitting teeth.

So no matter how minor your problem seems, getting braces means that things weren't as healthy as they could have been. The fact that your teeth get pretty is a beneficial side-effect (regardless of whether it's your main motivation or not) - the main result is a healthier mouth.

[dena]

You're right weird_wired. I think (for me at least) that I just tried to tell myself for years that the reason I really should get braces was for medical reasons. Then one day I just said to myself, 'to hell with it--I want a nice smile.' I mean, I definitely want to keep my teeth healthy, too, and that's the great part. I just imagine that everyone has to cross that hurdle of spending thousands of dollars on something you 'could technically' chalk up to vanity. I definitely don't think it's wrong, but unfortunately difficult.

SueFromNJ--you're story is inspiring and honest. I don't blame you for being angry about this. But congratulations for being where you are now. This really can be a very emotional and life-changing experience. Thanks for sharing.

[Destor]

That's very true, teeth were made to line up properly and fit together, otherwise they are bound to cause problems. Straight teeth, aligned bites, that is natural. There's nothing natural about spacing, crowding, over/under/open bites, other than the fact that we did evolve this way.

Some people might wonder "What about hundreds, or thousands of years ago, when braces were never even close to being concieved. Why are teeth so important to people now if there was no way to correct problems back then?" I read an article about this a little while ago, some of you might find it interesting. Back then, not sure how back exactly but I'm guessing a few hundred years plus, humans were different in size. The average person was much shorter than we are now, but obviousally every family line evolves differently.

The catch 22 is during those times, everyone had generally perfect teeth when it came to alignment and such (lucky gits, but they didn't have computers! ). This has been proven through remains of people that have been found and their jaws analyzed. As time went on, and we evolved more, some family lines grew exponentially in body size, but teeth remain the same dimensions. This increase in size includes the jaw, resulting in excessive spaces between the teeth. Some family lines evolved to have smaller bodies, leaving too little room for an entire jaw of teeth. Some families have had little change so their teeth are still lined up properly and in proportion, but this is the exception to the rule.

Looking at it from a purely scientific point of view of course. It's almost certainly more profound than that explanation (like explaining why some people have spaces on one row of teeth and crowding on the other, I'd wager a guess that it has something to do with inherited traits from your ancestors combined with evolving), as our understanding of evolution only goes so far. Why we evolved this way with no change in the size of our teeth is anyone's guess, one of the mysteries of life, maybe in 500 years the human race will evolve more and our teeth will catch up with our jaws, for now technology seems to be taking evolution's place nicely.

I can't remember the exact source of this article but if anyone else has heard of this explanation, maybe you can confirm it and cite the source.

[weird_wired]

Some people might wonder "What about hundreds, or thousands of years ago, when braces were never even close to being concieved. Why are teeth so important to people now if there was no way to correct problems back then?"

Oh I just read something about this. Prior to modern times - with fluoride and decent oral health care, people far more often lost their adult teeth. A young person would likely have lost a few molars by their late teeths, when wisdoms descended, so there was more room for them to come in.

Unlike now, when most of us have all our teeth and there just isn't room for the extras.

And back then, a lot of things were different. Crooked teeth were crooked teeth, broken teeth you just had to put up with, etc. Most of the cosmetic things we use today weren't around, or were very crude.

In the past, people had no anaesthetic available - imagine getting an extraction or root canal done without it! Today, we tend to take everything more for granted.

Of course cameras weren't around then either

[NotBob1]

You should do what makes you happy as long is it does not negatively affect others. Getting braces does not fall into the category of affecting others negatively.

I told my Dad (who paid for my ortho treatment 20 years ago) that I was doing it out of necessity. (it is out of necessity, though I am bugged by the look of my teeth.)

I find it interesting that people would say it's a waste of money. If you can swing it, do it. A nice straight, clean smile will get one more opportunities in this world and with the added self confidence, the sky is the limit and there is no telling where you will go. Take a look at most of the successful people in the world: Look at their teeth....Most have straight chompers.

[Jesslzz 01]

I actually had alot of anger at my parents for refusing to fix my teeth.

So I grew up with an ugly smile and ugly teeth. It's hard to explain, but it's like my parents and family completely accepted I was the "ugly" one and that could never be changed, and I needed to accept that too!! Even to this day, my parents NEVER saw fixing my teeth as their responsibility. Never! It was my crooked teeth, my problem, and I needed to accept that this was the way I looked, and that's just the way it is.

And was it any surprise I had no dates, and was teased all throughout school, and had no self-esteem?

It's like my face was hidden all these years behind my horrible teeth, and now it's emerging!
they will never admit that leaving my teeth crooked was incredibly damaging to my self-esteem, and all the negative things that go with it.

I think this is a very important thread, as intentionally leaving your child "ugly" is a cruel thing to do. I know some believe "it's what's on the inside that counts" but IT ISN'T TRUE! You NEED a good smile and appearance to get anywhere nowadays. It isn't vanity, it's necessity!! Thank goodness I took the initiative and now got the smile I desperatedly needed all these years!

I quoted most of your post, SueFromNJ, since I feel exactly the same as you do here. It was like reading my story, almost the same...I was .
I still feel anger about my parents' way of facing this...in my case, they didn't have the money to pay for the treatment, I know, but they didn't give the matter ANY importance at all, either. That was the worst. If they had at least talked to me about it, or give me hope that I would, someday, be able to fix my smile it would be very easy to me to face all the feelings I grew up with. It was as you said "MY problem", I can totally relate to that.

I'm on my way of getting braced, hopefully in January. Even though now my mom is very supportive on everything I'm planning to do, I still feel that I can't forgive their irresponsibility. Yes, I think it was very cruel, as you said, to leave me grow through all those traumatic years with an awful smile.
That was a terrible blow to my self esteem, I'm working twice hard now to build it again.

If I would received treatment when I was 13, I would only had to wear a retainer for a year or so, my ortho said.
Now I'm 29 and I need to have 4 extractions and be fully braced for two to three years.

This explain my anger, I have a hard time trying to forgive them. They caused me such a lot of problems just for not taking proper care of things.
Sorry for the loooong post, writing this has been therapeutical for me.
Thanks for sharing your story, made me feel good to find someone with a very similar experience.

If I ever have kids, they will all be treated in time, I swear!!! Congratulations on your new smile, you deserve it!!!

[missing_tooth]

I actually had alot of anger at my parents for refusing to fix my teeth. My parents had the money but were very socially naive, and never ever considered getting me braces.

Your not alone. I have a missing molar because the refused to take me to the dentist even though I was in greate pain. The molar was pulled because the tooth rotted below the gums. My dad spent thousands on his hobbies. I still find myself a bit angery from day to day.

Fast forward to today ..... I am in my mid 30's, and my braces should be off sometime during 2006! I paid for the surgery and braces entirely on my own with no insurance.

I'm in the same boat with you. Did you say surgery? What kind of surgery did you have done. I'm told I need bone grafting. Just wanting to find out more about bone grafting from someone who has had it done.

** Edit add on **

If I ever have kids, they will all be treated in time, I swear!!!

Ditto here. My kids health will come before any hobby or extras. I will make certain there needs are met.

- john -

[bbsadmin]

I could blame my lack of childhood braces on my pediatric dentist, but the poor guy died of Leukemia years go. Anyway, he never mentioned a word to my parents about my teeth being crooked and my bite being screwed up, even though it was obvious to me, especially as I got a bit older. But my parents really didn't have money for braces, so even if they'd have known I'm not sure they would have been able to afford it.

One thing that held me back for years (once I was an adult) was my mother's bad experience. As a young woman she apparently had some sort of periodontal problem with a tooth and a scammer of a dentist told her that all her teeth would eventually rot, so she needed to have them all pulled. She naively believed him and has worn dentures since she was in her early 30s! (The 4 natural teeth she does have are in perfect condition, BTW). So my entire life I heard this story and her attitude of "don't let anyone pull out your healthy teeth."

Fast forward to me being in my late 20s-early 30s and getting ortho consultations....and everyone telling me that I needed 4 teeth pulled. It took years for me to realize that my mother's skewed point of view was holding me back.

When I told her that I'd need 4 teeth pulled she didn't like that one bit. She wasn't convinced that my ortho work was a good idea until the braces came off and she saw how much better my teeth looked.

But you know, when you're in your 40s (like I am) and your parents are in their 80s, you have YEARS of experience in dealing with their attitudes and stuff. Also having my own family (being the "boss" in my own family domain) helps a lot. I do feel for the younger people (in their 20s) who are just beginning to establish independent lives and must deal with this stuff on their own.

I suppose many of us have stories like this -- parents who couldn't afford it, just didn't do it for us for one reason or another, or were prejudiced against it for some reason. The important thing is that we are finally taking control of our lives and our appearance, even if it has cost us money out of our own pockets to do so.

Will my kids have braces? Damn right they will, if they need them. So far my older daugther is iffy -- maybe she'll need them in a few years -- so far so good. My younger daugther will definitely need them, maybe within the next year. We corrected her cross-bite earlier this year with an expander for a few months. I wouldn't want my kids going through young adulthood with awful teeth and feeling that they need to hide their smiles. Life is too short, and money will come and go.

[chops]

hey everyone!

reading everyones' stories has been great, keep them coming! though they do bring up different theories of why I didn't get them at a younger age when I did get other ortho treatment, its still comforting to hear what you guys are going through.

all I really want is for my parents to understand. I don't care that htye don't pay for it (nor did I really ask them to, now that I"m in my early 20's), I just wanted them treat my getting braces as a real matter, a matter that was and is important to me. but their lack of interest and the "you're going to regret it" feeling I get from them is what I face instead.

I'm so glad that at this age I took the initiative and figured out that I could actually do all this on my own. Unfortunately after being braced (a few days ago)...their lack of interest in my endeavour has gotten me in the dumps and had led me to start this post. I feel like I just gotta let this one go because these days my parents don't really seem interested in my overall well being anyways....of course they are "interested", but whenever they show it, it is in the form of questions about school, work prospects, things like that. never just a simple "how are you?", which is what I really rather hear.

[ssfw]

It kind of makes me sad to hear about your relationship (maybe that's not the right word??) with your parents. As you get older, you may have the same attitude as me - don't dwell on what you don't have, but be thankful for what you do have. From reading your posts, you seem to be an intelligent person that took the initiative to begin orthodontic treatment and will be able to pay for it yourself - you're young, I wish I had done this at your age. I know as you see changes to your teeth due to the ortho treatment you will be so happy that you made the decision to move forward on this journey. You will probably gain more self-confidence too.

As mentioned in one of the replies, the person said sometimes it's best not to tell your parents everything, especially if you are seeking support/happiness from them and there's a chance you may not get it. I know you were not looking for approval from your parents because you had already made your decision to get braces but a little support would have been nice. Keep in mind that you can write to us at Archwired anytime and I know you will find so much support from us.

Take Care!

ssfw