Guilt.... it's a lot of money

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#1 Post by **Bianca** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 10:08 am

Okay, before I start my little pity moment -

Let me just say that I know it's a good thing, and you can't put a price (well, apparantly my ortho did!) on feeling good about your looks, and it is something I have wanted to have fixed for years, and it IS a good decision, and all that stuff

But does anyone else ever have those moments where they feel totally guilty for spending the money? I've got a truckload of money dedicated to my teeth, which I have been insecure about for years.

But that money could have been spent on finishing my bathroom remodel, or paying off debt, or increasing our savings, or any number of practical things.

The practical side of me is just dying right now, I am a big puddle of guilt, having all those thoughts (maybe my teeth weren't that bad, I didn't have to be so vain, etc) and I don't know how to get rid of them.

Again- I know it was a good decision and all that stuff, but part of me feels like I was just being a big baby about my teeth and I should have just left them the way they were.

Thanks for listening to my pity moment!

Website · #2 Post by **Kell** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 10:32 am

Bianca wrote:The practical side of me is just dying right now, I am a big puddle of guilt, having all those thoughts (maybe my teeth weren't that bad, I didn't have to be so vain, etc) and I don't know how to get rid of them.

I have similiar thoughts. It's hard but I try not dwell on it. I worried more before I had the braces put on because then there was still time to change my mind. Now it's too late

what's done is done and I'm going through with it now. No use to wonder about what ifs.

What I tell myself is that I am going to keep my teeth for the rest of my life (hopefully). I hope to live a long and healthy life and I want my own teeth. The money you spend now on your dental health is worth it. If your teeth aren't healthy that can lead to many other types of health problems. It's hard for me to spend money on myself but I have to remind myself that my health is worth more than stuff. So maybe we won't have new furniture or a new car or be able to fix up some rooms in our house for a long, long time. That's just stuff.

For us I know the money would still get spent. Spending a little here and a little there on "things" adds up quick and that money would be gone anyway. Now at least it's being spent on a worthy cause

I hope that the guilty feelings pass quickly.

#4 Post by **Leslie022** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 11:00 am

To me, spending this huge lot of money on myself is completely worth it. Granted, I don't have any responsibilities. I don't have a car payment, no kids, no husband...just me! I may be stretching my paycheck thin for 18 months but I can manage.

Don't feel too much guilt!

#5 Post by **Metal Mouth Guy** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 11:09 am

Haven't priced dentures, have you?

As my wife and OS both put it, every tooth you keep in your mouth is gold. Orthodontia helps you keep them there longer.

MMG

#6 Post by **Bianca** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 11:16 am

Metal Mouth Guy wrote:Haven't priced dentures, have you?

As my wife and OS both put it, every tooth you keep in your mouth is gold. Orthodontia helps you keep them there longer.

MMG

I guess that about says it all!

Financially we are fine, I was even lucky enough to get a really surprising bonus at the end of last year which covers 2/3 of the cost of my braces, but I can't help but feel like I should be doing something more important with it.

I'm planning to have a kid next year and become a stay at home mom, so this is the time when I should be saving my money.

Luckily my husband, my friends, and everyone else I have talked with doesn't see it as a frivilous expense, I think I am the only one.

And it will pass... besides, as someone else mentioned, they are already on.... what would I do now, have 'em pulled off?

#7 Post by **Metal Mouth Guy** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 11:22 am

Bianca wrote:
Metal Mouth Guy wrote:Haven't priced dentures, have you?

As my wife and OS both put it, every tooth you keep in your mouth is gold. Orthodontia helps you keep them there longer.

MMG

I guess that about says it all!

That argument worked on me. I was curious if I was just an easy sell.

And it will pass... besides, as someone else mentioned, they are already on.... what would I do now, have 'em pulled off?

Pulling 'em off is something you'll think about doing later.

MMG

#8 Post by **ingyandbert** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 11:32 am

Nope, not for a second have I thought it was a waste of money. I had to wait way too many years to think of it that way now. Think of it as an investment in your oral health rather than a strictly cosmetic thing. Straight teeth are happy teeth. Happy teeth make for a happy bite, which makes for a happy jaw, which means keeping your natural teeth a good, long time.

#9 Post by **OceanGirl** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 12:42 pm

My ortho treatment is costing me about $5000 in total and I don't regret a single penny. I suffered from headaches and earaches for years and didn't know what was causing it. I always thought it was my ears, and that I had inheritated the hearing loss problems from my fathers side of the family but my family doctor could never find anything wrong with my ears except for a couple of minor ear infections. The very next morning after I started my ortho treatment was the first morning I woke up without a headache caused by my TMJ. Before braces I would be popping pain meds left and right to help with the pain. I have taken maybe 2 pills in the last year. So to me the $5000 dollars is minimal considering the pain and discomfort I have been in for the last 10 years. Having my teeth straightened have just been a major bonus. I am loving how my teeth look now and I still have about 5-6 months treatment left to close my open bite. A nice smile and being able to smile without being self conscious of the way your teeth look is PRICELESS.

#10 Post by **luxekitty** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 5:12 pm

I do feel guilty because my parents are the ones forking up the $ for the bill, but its something they were willing to do for me in my teens...I just wasn't willing to go through it. Luckily I believe they understand just HOW MUCH this means to me, and what it will do for me in the long run.

My mom still chimes in about the $900 down payment when shes in a grumpy mood, but as long as I do my part (take care of my teeth/braces, go to my appointments, nothing that will prolong my treatment) they are ok with it.

*whew*

#11 Post by **jcdamon3** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:41 pm

Are you Catholic by any chance? Just kidding!

My braces are my third cosmetic procedure that I have done over the last 12 years. I had lasik surgery on my eyes which was totally worth it and has probably already paid for it self, or soon will. I had this done before it was really as popular as it is now. Would I get my money back now and reverse the surgery? Not on your life. I also had liposuction to get rid of some really unsightly saddlebags. I was not fat anywhere else on my body and I am in very good shape otherwise. I felt really guilty about that one and worked overtime to pay for it. Would I get my money back now and reverse it? Heck no! I am VERY happy with it. I don't feel a bit guilty about it now.

I may be alot more disappointed with my braces outcome than I was with my other two procedures because my teeth were not that bad and I was doing it for my bite as well as for cosmetic reasons.

Basically you will probably just end up taking one less vacation, spending a little less on your bathroom remodel or driving a less expensive car. I am driving a Camry now instead of a Lexus.

I look at how much I am spending on braces over 2 years and I could have spent more on a car that would last maybe 10 years (or less when I get tired of it) , a bathroom that would last 20 years (or less if I get tired of it). But my teeth will last me until I die. Actually longer.

#12 Post by **johnnys_angel** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:49 pm

MMG, your post says it all

I'm not saying it's wrong to be feeling guilty, but it's certainly not right! These are your teeth so you should be happy with them! I would especially NOT feel guilty since you have been insecure about them. Everybody is beautiful or handsome in their own way, and if there's anything at all that is helping you doubt that for even one second, 'it' should be made to make you happy. Can't wait to see that fabulous smile

#13 Post by **Betty Bat** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 7:09 pm

Let me add something else - this may stir the Guilt Pool in the other direction.

You're thinking about having a child - do you want your child to be proud of the way you look or do you want him/her to be making excuses about your appearance/teeth?

And, as others have pointed out, the braces will help your appearance in the long run as well as helping your health. Your face won't sag as much (insert smiley here) if you have and keep all of your teeth in line. And, there are connections between poor dental health and heart disease.

Finally, if you have low self-esteem because of your appearance and/or because you feel guilty about what you are doing, just think about how much more expensive it would be to go to a psychiatrist!

#14 Post by **missing_tooth** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 8:04 pm

I know all about the guilt. but like betty bat said,

You're thinking about having a child - do you want your child to be proud of the way you look or do you want him/her to be making excuses about your appearance/teeth?

Although I don't have any kids, I have though of what they would think of old dad with his missing tooth.

I did however resolve to myself that this did need to be done. I view it more of a medical expense. Guilt should be more along the lines of say fancy vacations and stuff. And yes, there is a place for that to.

- Missing Tooth -

#15 Post by **weird_wired** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 10:26 pm

Let me just say that I know it's a good thing, and you can't put a price (well, apparantly my ortho did!) on feeling good about your looks

Aha! This is where you are getting confused and guilty.

Orthodontics is not actually about prettier teeth, it is about healthier teeth, gums and mouth. Obviously prettiness is an aspect, but orthodontists are most concerned with arcane things like bite and fixing back teeth that we didn't even notice were rotated or whatever.

Think of this as an investment in your future oral health. You could also end up saving money on tooth decay treatment later on.

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