Negative Remarks.....

Message

#31 Post by **wearetheborg** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 6:09 pm

Oh, that leaves the question of how to respond to it. NotBob1's approach of storming out seems to be a bit too much. You need to show you think that remark is inappropriate, but not make a big deal out of it. I thought Wirednana's reponse was great - she didnt accuse her employer of anything, but her response made it very clear she was hurt.
I'm not so great with smart comebacks, so I'd probably say "coz my teeth need them" and leave the questioner hanging

#32 Post by **NotBob1** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 11:00 pm

But how else do you let a person like this know that this type of comment/behavior is not acceptable, Borg?

#33 Post by **wearetheborg** » Sun Feb 26, 2006 12:49 am

I'm assuiming the other person is clueness, and not deliberately trying to be hurtful. If I give him/her a curt response, it should convey to the other person that I think his/her comment was inappropriate.

It doesnt work on a message board, the tone makes the displeasure clear.

Now if the other person is REALLY stupid, he wont get the scond time around, THEN I would take a direct approach

#34 Post by **NotBob1** » Sun Feb 26, 2006 10:45 pm

That's fair. I suppose I tend to attack poor behavior. Your approach is more level.

I shall pepare to assimilate.

#35 Post by **wearetheborg** » Mon Feb 27, 2006 12:11 am

NotBob1 wrote:That's fair. I suppose I tend to attack poor behavior. Your approach is more level.

I shall pepare to assimilate.

How do u guys get all the technical details about your ortho situation (like in u'r sig)?
Also what is TPA ?

#36 Post by **NotBob1** » Mon Feb 27, 2006 11:56 am

I just got my information from the letter I was sent proposing the treatment.

You can ask your ortho. Tell them you need it for this forum. I told my ortho & staff about this board, they were excited to learn of it.

#37 Post by **paw655** » Mon Feb 27, 2006 10:01 pm

I would like to return to the original post of this forum, where the supervisor made a very inappropriate comment to the poster about age, braces, etc. Generally a one-line "I have a medical appointment" shuts up the inquirer, and if it were to go further, then it would be time to ask what the company's policy on PTO was - if providing a reason was required or not.

While I do not have my braces yet, I have to take PTO/sick hours once a month - and I can promise you I have never told a single employer the truth. I take anti-depressants, rarely do I have problems that bring on major depressive episodes, but I have to see a psychiatrist once a month. When asked when I take off early, I simply say "I have a medical appointment." If there is a situation where the leave might not be possible, I focus on the situation at work and how to get the task done such that I can still leave and take the discussion away from why I need to leave. The reality is, the employer probably doesn't really care in the least about why a person wants to leave, they are worried about the work getting done.

Lastly, I realize this forum is on negative comments, focusing on comments about braces. However, as a woman, I find that publicly commenting, even when kidding, on PMS as an "excuse" for a negative post or a negative comment in general, is INCREDIBLY NEGATIVE TO WOMEN. A man would be sued for discrimination for attributing a woman's behavior or comment to PMS, so why is it OK for us to do it to ourselves? If this forum exists because people have frustrations when others make negative comments about having braces, which are just metal on teeth that gets removed at some point, is it OK to make negative comments about genetically endowed hormone fluctuations, which some women experience and some don't, but are an inherent part of who we are? I know a lot of women will kid around about PMS issues, but in reality, it's not such a kidding issue. The more women use the "PMS excuse" as a joke or not, the more we are setting it up for men to use it against us.

I know that there is a forum for non-braces topics, and I ask that if anyone were to respond, to do it there. I wanted to respond to the comment here as is this is where it originated, but let's move the discussion elsewhere if there is any.

#38 Post by **fromjersey** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 4:05 pm

Well, I'm 77 and I can't wait until I get braced. And the first person to make a stupid remark is going to hear me say "up your_____" And if they don't like that, then I'll say "Sorry, I'm from New Jersey; I can't help myself."
Helen

#39 Post by **fromjersey** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 8:38 pm

Just kidding about saying "up your ___" Actually would say "Go take a long walk off a short pier." No. No. No. Seriously I have no idea what I would say. Heard some expression about an eye for an eye makes us all blind, something like that. I guess it would all depend on what kind of mood I'm in that day, my saint mood or my human mood. Sometimes I say nothing. Assertive rather than passive-aggressive? I do know that it's very difficult to be rational and calm when you have been insulted. Maybe I would make teeth and growl.
Helen

#40 Post by **NotBob1** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 4:37 pm

I am actually surprised at how many positive comments I have received. The most negative, and it isn't that negative, was "Your teeth didn't look that crooked." And they didn't, but the cross bite was nasty, my midline is way off and the ones that were crooked, straightened up in a month. (about now)

It will be interesting to see if I get any negative comments when the diagonal elastics for the midline show up here in few months. I tried putting one of the side ones on from corner to corner out front to see what it looks like. Hopefully I won't get any negative reactions, but I will certainly get some sort of reaction!!!

#41 Post by **mytch** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 6:15 pm

Im with NotBob1... To me, my teeth were *DISGUSTING* when I got braces 10 months ago.. worst teeth i'd seen anywhere -- from friends, family, on the internet, anywhere, and trust me, I looked at alot of photos of teeth on Google, FlickR, everywhere.

But, my best friend just laughed when I told him im getting braces. The conversation went something like:

Me: I'm getting braces in 2 weeks
Friend: hahahaha you idiot, your teeth are fine, why get braces?
Me: Nah my teeth just don't show when I talk
Friend: You idiot, don't waste the money

Kinda strange, but I guess no one really noticed my teeth because I kept my lips closed when I smiled, and when i talk my teeth strangely enough didn't really show.

But for anyone that gets negative comments, i like to compare it to dieting:

You're turning a negative about you into a positive, and regardless of what people think/say, you are improving yourself - your confidence, your look, etc, so screw them all!

Metal Mouth Message Board

Negative Remarks.....

But other negative comments are OK?

rude remarks

rude people