I feel stupid for asking

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Website · #1 Post by **susieq182** » Thu May 25, 2006 2:28 pm

OK so I have had to remind my ortho everytime I have been in that I am not 16, and no my parents will not be joining me. but after I heard how well he explained what he was doing to the parent of the kid who got his adjustment before me I am seriously considering dragging my mom along for my next adjustment to get info out of the guy. Am I nuts? I know I look young I can deal with that but dragging my mom along to get info. has become a bad habit I think. I just hate how people talk/act to/towards me because unless they know diferently they asume I am much younger than I am. Having braces has made this so much worse I cant even get into the movies w/o ID which means I dont pass for 18 and I am 24!!!!!! I know "you'll be glad when your older to look so young" to look younger isnt bad but the disparity in the way people treat an adult VS a teen rubs me the wrong way.

ok vent over question: is it wrong to take my mom along to have her ask questions?

#2 Post by **psychic** » Thu May 25, 2006 2:42 pm

I'm dealing with the same problem...

my ortho didnÂ´t tell me anything! She just put the braces and off you go... next appointement in three weeks!

next time i will ask her to explain all the procedure/plan to me... i have the right to know and she has the obligation to inform me... after all, iÂ´m paying and i went to her to do this by my own...

#3 Post by **phanta** » Thu May 25, 2006 3:16 pm

Same thing with me!! Unless I ask, my Doc doesn't volunteer any details. And when he does, he has a slightly lost look on his face, like "Oh yes... yes, of course".

I'm surprised he's like that - because 50% of his patients are adults. Maybe they aren't as curious as me. To be fair, I was given a print out of my treatment plan at the start. It outlined the issues and proposed treatment and estimated time. So any questions I have are probably minor.

I like him a lot though, and he always has that "crazy genius scientist" air about him

with 3-5 pretty young assistants flying about him.

Website · #4 Post by **susieq182** » Thu May 25, 2006 3:20 pm

I have tried asking questions but he doesnt answer them really. I have seen how he talks to his other adult patients, to parents of patients, and teens there alone. the way he treats me falls in the category of teen there w/o a parent. even when I ask questions I get the we will talk it over next time line just like he tells the teens. i suppose if i take my mom it will be easier for her to ask questions as her mouth wont have hands in it, and maybe she can get a straight answer. I love my ortho dont get me wrong he is the best in the state, but as professional as he is he does treat me like a child very frustrating.

Thu May 25, 2006 4:46 pm

Susieq, that is a shame that you are being treated that way. In addition to Karen's suggestions, maybe you could call the office and tell them that for your next appointment you would like to schedule enough time or a little extra time for your ortho to explain your treatment.

If you feel that taking your Mom would help, you might try it once just to see. Mom might even help to direct the conversation to be more between him and you. Like she could say....Oh Susie, what was that question you had?"

When I worked retail I made a point to treat young people the same as the other customers. And the old ones too. That really bothers me when I see discrimination.

#6 Post by **Flora2006** » Thu May 25, 2006 8:22 pm

You should not feel the need to bring your mother to an adjusmtent just so your ortho will answer some questions.

You need to talk to him and explain that this braces journey is a team effort. And as a team, he needs to keep you up-to-date and tell you everything you want to know.

These are your teeth and you deserve to know what is going on.

Website · #7 Post by **susieq182** » Fri May 26, 2006 8:15 am

Thanks you all for telling me what i already knew at the back of my mind. I am going to call ahead with a list of questions next adjusment, so I am not trying to get them in as the ortho is working on me. I figure I have been good about not asking every time about trivial things since most of those questions have been run round and round the track here, but I want to know where my treatment is going and how its going so far. IMHO its going great my bite feels better my teeth look so much better all the great things i expected.

So the game plan is call ahead, be assertive about getting the questions answered but not put anyone in a possition they feel defensive and hope it all works out. My mom and i talked it over and she agrees I need to learn to stand up for myself to authority figures.

#8 Post by **jaswi** » Fri May 26, 2006 8:33 pm

Thats one thing so far that I've liked about my ortho, he talks to me on the same level as he is. Very professional, very adult, and has made sure I had all my questions answered before I even had to ask. Probably the number 1 reason I went with this ortho. Definatly make your ortho aware that you are an adult. Also, maybe if its one of the more ortho-mill type places, he might just simply not realize you are an adult.. just a thought.

#9 Post by **Jillianleab** » Sat May 27, 2006 10:51 am

I'm sort of in the same boat (my problem is mostly with the asst, not my ortho), but I can be a real pushy b***h when it comes to it... I'm 25 and no joke, I think I look 15 with these things on. The day I had my braces put on, the asst who did it had the nerve to ask if I make my own appointments! I said "yes, I'm 25" and she asked if I needed a school excuse!!!! I'm older than most of the asst in there! Grrrrr..... My advice is to constanty remind your ortho that you ARE the adult and if you have questions you want them answered! Here's to hoping the next two years fly by......

#10 Post by **LoobyLou** » Sun May 28, 2006 4:21 pm

So the game plan is call ahead, be assertive about getting the questions answered but not put anyone in a possition they feel defensive and hope it all works out.

It's good that you plan to go in with this assertive frame of mind. I hope when you go next your ortho will realise you mean business and want to know what's going on.

I'm in the same boat as you - my ortho tells me nothing and I find it so frustrating. I too had planned to go in and make my point at my adjustment that I am interested and concerned about what's going on in my mouth but when I got there everything I had planned to say just faded away into the odd shy question because when I ask him I feel that he thinks I'm challenging his ability. I did manage to point a couple of things out that I'm not happy about or what I want to know about but not in an assertve way and I then feel like I have morphed into the young, non-interested and/or not-understanding person he perhaps thinks I am (I'm 23)!

It's catch 22 here. I'm just hoping it'll all work out in the end.

Good luck Susieq,

Luv LoobyLou x

Website · #11 Post by **alexa** » Sun May 28, 2006 10:01 pm

I know exactly where you are coming from. I'm 24 and got the braces on when I was 22. My ortho is really nice and is doing a great job...except with the answering questions part. Almost every appointment she asks me how school is and I have to politely remind her that not only am I not in high school, I graduated college last year after five years and that now I am just your regular working adult, though am considering graduate studies soon...

Good thinking about calling ahead with your questions. That seems like it may just be sensible enough to work! Wish I had thought of it!

Good luck!

#12 Post by **missing_tooth** » Mon May 29, 2006 2:05 am

ok vent over question: is it wrong to take my mom along to have her ask questions?

I don't know that it's wrong. But it would be a bit misleading. If it were me I would ask a ton of questions on my visits. That or you could take the direct route and just mention to him, that during your visits you would like to have the proceedure being performed to be explained.

I know, it's never easy.

- Missing Tooth -

#13 Post by **mamabracito** » Mon May 29, 2006 6:34 am

See that's the one thing about my ortho that I admire. He tells me everything. Sometimes all in to much. I have a hard time following him because he goes off on all these medical terms lol. i have to stop him and say what? He explains everything so well. I guess that's why I'm not afraid to get braces and then surgery. I'm actually excited and I start on June 14th.