Is this normal or strange behavior for an orthodontist?

[kaylaa]

Harassment is commonly known as a repetitious behavior that is intended to disturb or upset someone. There are two types of harassment, direct and indirect.

Direct harassment is intentional and is like described above. Indirect is different though. It is unintentional and often the "harassers" don't even know they are doing it.

My advice is when it happens next, let him know that his behaviors or what he is saying is making you uncomfortable. I'm sure he is a professional and doesn't even realize what he is doing. If it continues to happen after you have let him know then you can file a complaint.

Give him the benefit of the doubt, but don't be silent. I'm sure his inappropriate behavior will stop once you draw a line at what you feel is acceptable and what you are comfortable with.

[Foxsong]

I think the advice to state plainly 'That behavior/question/whatever makes me feel uncomfortable' is excellent. It is possible he just doesn't realize that he is coming across as creepy, and by saying so you can give him a chance to reevaluate his behavior if it's only been innocent mistakes. If he persists after you've told him it makes you uncomfortable, then you won't have to feel like you're overreacting if you choose to find another ortho.

My own ortho is very friendly and folksy, and he does greet me with a pat on the shoulder and that sort of thing, but it seems warm and welcoming, and I find it pleasant. If it bothered me I would mention it. You'd be doing your ortho a favor if you let him know how he's coming across to you, because if he's not trying to get away with anything, he certainly doesn't want to seem that way!

[sarahorsomeone]

I've seen an awful lot of medical professionals in my time; and the range of informality and friendliness has varied hugely. You get some that want 50,000 nurses present just to examine a hand, and others who are far more casual about things. My maxiofacial surgeon gave me his mobile number (incase I had any problems after I was discharged from hospital), my orthodontist will chat about totally non-related things sometimes if the clinic isn't busy, my endocrinologist once jokingly asked me if my boyfriend was a 'good egg', my periodontist claimed I was her 'favourite ever patient' (which I think was probably totally insincere...) but none have ever made me feel uncomfortable or seemed inappropriate. To be honest I can find it more uncomfortable if you get a medical professional who's quite obviously going out of their way not to get sued. I have had doctors which behaved completely inappropriately, but not in an over-friendly way...

I do agree that this chap sounds a little bit strange; it's possible I suppose that he has really bad social skills or something. I suppose the key is making him aware that you feel uncomfortable with his behaviour, without sounding accusing. At least that way, if his intentions are completely honest then he'll know what he's doing wrong and it might even prevent him behaving inappropriately with other patients, and if his intentions are a little more shady then it should warn him off and signal that you aren't interested. As I think someone else pointed out, there is the possibility that he's so used to dealing with kids that he'd forgotten how to relate appropriately to an adult female patient.

[Huggypillow]

well i agree it sounds a little odd, but on the other hand you did say he was 60. i had a general dentist who was that age and almost deaf(hearing aids) he use to get closer to hear what was being said. he treated my age group like his adult children.

he never crossed the line though, the reason i moved on was i got sick of having to repeat myself especially after having a tooth removed and he lacked the want to use new methods and he always talked about his impending retirement.

maybe take your dad along for the appts the same age thing might make him pull his head up a little, always take someone with you to your appts to make you feel more comforable, if you take your boyfriend he might just view it as 2 krazy kids.


good luck

if it makes you feel better my sister went to a dentist that kissed her on her forehead and said she was "beautiful just beautiful" after he finishes a filling. mind u he was almost 70 italian and a friend of the family and it still creeped her.

[hellokitty]

Whoah HUGE red flags! This guy is a pervert! There's no need to ask for your cell phone number if he's supposed to be talking with your parents and the contact info should already be on file. Also, no need to wipe his hand on your chest. This is VERY unprofessional. I've had both male and female dentists both young and old and they have never done this in my lifetime. I used to work in law enforcement and I would suggest that you switch your doctor quick! Tell your concerns to your parents and insist on them being in the dental room next to you every time. I'm sure this pervert will try to say that they can't sit there but there's no law that says they can't. You're the customer and you pay him, just remember that, so he has to cater to you. If you have signed a contract, I would suggest telling the doctor that you're moving unexpectedly (make up a reason like someone in the family died) and need to continue the care elsewhere to get out of the contract and just pay the prorated amount. You should be able to keep what braces you have and continue the care with another dentist. You don't even need the dental records if he won't release them to you. He might ask who your new doctor is but just insist that you want the records first and haven't decided on a new ortho yet due being preoccupied with this sudden move. They should be able to release a copy of the records to you. If he asks for a forwarding address, just say that you'll still receive mail at the old address and a relative will forward the mail until you settle down. Many dentists have been sanctioned for sexual harassment and many of them also have oral fixations, which is a fetish for mouths, other people's or placing objects or fantasizing about things with other people's mouths even with braces. There's an actual braces fetish, too. Find a female ortho for your next doctor just to be safe. Good luck and PLEASE take care and be safe!

[hellokitty]

I just want to say that old age doesn't mean he can't be a pervert. Lots of perverts are old men. Only recently a string of old college professors and even the president of New Mexico college were arrested for their involvement in an online prostitution ring. See the story below.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162- ... 04083.html

It's always better to be safe than sorry. You feel uncomfortable and that's all that you need to listen to. Always question the necessity of actions and reasons for it. If you had a sore throat and you went to a doctor that told you to strip naked or take off your top and wear a tiny bib, does that sound reasonable? No. The doctor should only be looking at your throat mainly. Always have someone else in the room with you. Insist on it or leave. Better to stick with a female doctor though.