Am I the only one who's not self-conscious?

[Neva]

I never got carded until I got braces. That's been a little strange. I'm not sure why this never happened to me before, since I was in my early twenties and I *should* have been--I'd offer my ID anyway, generally, but I never got asked for it. Now I get asked for it every time.

I was really self-conscious at first. My boyfriend at the time made it a lot worse. He didn't want to kiss me anymore. I really thought this was the fault of the braces until we broke up and I figured out that yeah, the braces don't get in the way of that at all with the new guy. Right as a relationship was falling apart was probably not the best time to get them on, but the good thing is that my current SO has never known me without them so he's not bothered at all.

I'm getting concerned now because I was supposed to be done with braces before I was done with graduate school, and now I'm having to interview with them on, and I'll have to make arrangements to miss work for adjustments, and I don't care for that. The latter bothers me more than the former, and I think the former only bugs me because I was so looking forward to having a perfect smile for just that occasion.

[Thathrill]

I was embarassed for like the first few days but shortly, nothing really changed (except the way I eat and clean my teeth lol) It doesn't bother me anymore. The interesting thing is my dating life picked up after getting braced lol

[jackie100]

I am extremely self conscious about my teeth and looks in general, whether I have braces or not. Either way I would always want to look my best.

Markuhde, are you a dude? If so I can understand why you aren't self conscious because people tend not to be as critical of men's appearances, whether they have braces or not, but everything counts when you're a woman, looks are very important for most women, at least for me it is.

Having braces for a woman isn't really attractive, I don't think most men would want to date someone with braces or be seen in public with a woman in braces (not ALL men but a lot feel this way in my opinion, for example I know my ex would never go out in public with me to a restaurant etc if I was still with him and had braces and I wouldn't blame him either), it's just not very "sexy" and isn't very attractive.

[bracesafter40]

Full metallic grin here with green ligs; self-conscious; heck no!

People do stare at me all the time when I see them and I just stare back and open my mouth so they can see what they were curious about. At 42, 6'1", black and in braces I do stand out ... You can see them pause before continuing to interact with me; the majority of the people say absolutely nothing .

The few that brave to talk about it either starting the conversation or braces coming up while we speak have been cool about it; I've gotten the "why so late in life question; I did not think you could do it when older" from time to time.

Yes, life in braces is very different, but I love it. It's been 6 months now. 2 years to go.

No worries here at all...

[jackie100]

Meryaten, what I meant is that it is important in society in general for women to be good looking, society is usually harsher on judging women than men. Society in general has higher standards of beauty placed on women than men.

Yes, I am smart and successful and make a lot of money, and I'm independent but that's not enough these days; you have to have all these things PLUS looks if you "want to have it all" so to speak or if you want certain guys to be interested in you. It is not enough for a woman to be just beautiful on the inside, most men want looks #1 and the rest is gravy.

Men don't usually need good looks in order to get ahead, as long as they have money they can have black rotten teeth and they can still date a supermodel.

A woman who is wealthy and smart and has a great personality will still not be considered a good catch if her looks aren't good to par, you have to have the full package.

I know there are some guys out there who are into braces fetishes or whatever, but I'm saying for mainstream beauty standards braces aren't attractive. How many models do you see on the cover of Cosmo or Allure wearing braces? None.

[jackie100]

KK,

Yes, I do know that Hollywood teeth are mainly the result of veneers and I plan on either getting lumineers/veneers and zoom bleaching after I'm done with my treatment because I want my teeth to be perfect. I'm leaning more towards lumineers though because that way I don't need to have my teeth shaved down.

When you say "real women" though, I also think that a woman who is very attractive and perhaps had plastic surgery etc can also be a accomplished and a "real woman" as well... it's not only average women that are "real women"....

About the marriage thing, if the guy in question that you are referring to does marry a "real women" (whatever that may be) I would be afraid that he would end up cheating on her with the "sidepiece". That's how it usually goes, men want to marry a "good wife" to raise the kids, and then go have fun on the side with all the sidepieces!

Sorry if this is off topic I guess you could say I'm rather jaded

[neas]

Way i see it is that your getting the braces fitted to better yourself. If you are getting braces you arent comfortable with your teeth to begin with (at least i wasn't) so it doesn't matter because i'd be embarrassed without braces just the same, at least now it shows i've taken steps to correct my teeth.

[red indian]

Well thats what this recent study indicates:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6976588.stm

[dubnobass]

46 people at a speed-dating session doth not a scientific nor a representative sample make. In fact, by definition, it is a sample who have, for one reason and another, failed to find a partner in the more "conventional" ways. A microcosm my ****.

..Though I find it slightly depressing that the conversation has steered in the same direction as some other discussions, of late. Can we not just agree to disagree on the importance of looks, and accept that some people think it's terribly important and necessary to be beautiful/good looking and that other people really, honestly, could not care less about looks and how nice their teeth, or anybody else's teeth, are?

I'm past the stage of caring about whether I'm attractive to guys or not - I'm married.. to a man with terrible teeth. I have no plans for a divorce or an affair.. so where does that leave me in this argument?