feeling alone- unsupportive husband

[Anna5]

Thanks for your reply, parapian.
I am very happy that you are getting the support you deserve! And I am glad that fixing your teeth/ bite makes you happy. I am sure your results will be positive!
That is very good that you kicked off thumbsucking when you were still 11 years old, much earlier than me!. I am sorry that it affected your bite so much.... But it is great that you are finally getting your teeth fixed!

I am not sure whether my bite is of great medical concern, my ortho and surgeon say it is not. My open bite has never been major to begin with (only a few mm space between a few teeth). I have never had problems with eating and speaking because of this. No wear of my teeth and not much cavities. And the frequent jaw clicking started AFTER I got braces. My ortho and surgeon expect that to get better when the braces are off.

As for mouth breathing, I think my deviated septum, enlarged turbinates, narrow palate and also just habit all contribute to this problem. I don't think my shifted midline is causing breathing problems, but I am no doctor either. But I definitely want my midline fixed or at least improved as much as possible. I think the problem with my midline is that I am missing a premolar on one side and my midline has shifted towards that side. Have you ever noticed that Tom Cruise has the same problem, even after he got his braces off? And he is a very succesfull star, so maybe I should not worry about this too much.....

But I hope I can get fixed whatever needs to get fixed for my health and confidence. But I try not to seek perfection too much, because I am sure I will never reach that.

[parapian]

Yes, I noticed Tom Cruise's midline. I'm surprised he didn't get that fixed.. Maybe he couldn't or didn't want to be in braces any longer.

Again, I don't see anything wrong with your midline either from a cosmetic perspective. Your teeth look great! But if you're not happy with it and you don't like the cant in your smile as a result of it, then I'd get it fixed.

And I agree, we can't seek perfection, because we'll never have it. I'm just happy with a closed bite and some natural balance in my face. I know I'll get this once my open bite is properly closed and my cross bite is fixed. I'm not expecting to look like a super model (not that I even want to!! -- I'm perfectly happy being average).

Again, I'm really sorry about your husband. I hope you have other significant people in your life supporting you. It's so important to feel that support!

[braceystacey]

Sorry to hear that :( but you are doing this for you, not him! Does he know how you feel?

[Anna5]

I often try to explain him how I feel, but I think he just cannot understand why my teeth make me self conscious.
I have also told him that I feel a bit sad about him lack of support. He now tries to give me a bit more support, but still cannot understand why fixing my teeth is so important for me.

[rocco11510]

I know how you feel. I have an unsupportive wife who feels this is all a bit extreme. For the past few years, my dentist has nudged me to do something about the crowding that I have. The dentist told me that it's causing me to wear down other teeth, that I am so hard to floss, and that I am getting rapid gum recession as a result. These are serious issues, but my wife doesn't want to hear it.

I have an Orthodontist appointment on Saturday where I'm supposed to be discussing Invisalign and doing records/pictures/x-rays. However, I have decided to tell my Orthodontist that I want traditional braces instead (better results). My wife is going to go nuts when she finds this out. Not looking forward to this.

[Anna5]

I am very sorry to hear this, rocco11510, that your wife is not supportive, even though you are having serious issues with your teeth. It is very good and brave of you that you are going through with the braces. You are doing this for you and your health, not for her. But I hope that she will get a bit more supportive.... How did your appointment this weekend go? I hope everything went well.
And if your wife doesn't support you, please know that we all here on this forum do support you!!! I wish you very good luck with your treatment. Please let us know how you are doing!

[djspeece]

I'm quite certain my ex-wife would not have been supportive, seeing the money spent on orthodontia as a diversion from her furniture and jewelry shopping. There were of course many other negative issues in that relationship. Which brings me to this point: do you think the lack of support is rooted in deeper issues, execerbated by braces? In any event, I wish you the best of luck.

[rocco11510]

Anna5 and DJ, thank you! You are both very supportive and it's always great to read! The appointment is this coming Saturday, and I am BEYOND nervous. (I felt like I was going to throw up at work today from being nervous lol).

Anyway, Anna, I am sorry to hear that you're having a hard time with your husband. Like you said, you're doing it for you, not him, so try your best to ignore any negativity :-)

[rocco11510]

UPDATE: I have a huge update and some positive news.

1. I really wish I could erase my previous comments from last week about my wife not being supportive, because after Saturday's appointment this week, she is now VERY supportive! She saw I was so nervous and depressed, and she really talked to me and made me feel a lot better. Thank God for my wife!

2. Which brings me to my 2nd update based on Saturday's appointment......I'M GETTING BRACES ON JUNE 11TH!!! LOL.

Anyway, I am so sorry Anna for hijacking your thread, but I just wanted to share this huge update! ;-)

Thanks everyone!

[quote="rocco11510"]Anna5 and DJ, thank you! You are both very supportive and it's always great to read! The appointment is this coming Saturday, and I am BEYOND nervous. (I felt like I was going to throw up at work today from being nervous lol).

Anyway, Anna, I am sorry to hear that you're having a hard time with your husband. Like you said, you're doing it for you, not him, so try your best to ignore any negativity :-)[/quote]

[Anna5]

I am so happy for you, Rocco, that your wife is so loving and supporting now!!!
Sometimes just a good talk is all you need.....

And congratulations on getting braced soon!!! We are already looking forward to seeing your progress!

[rocco11510]

Thanks Anna! I really hope you can resolve things with your husband. Sometimes it just takes a sit down discussion to talk about things and what is bothering you. If he's a good man, then he should care about your feelings and do whatever he can to help you feel better. I wish you the best of luck and keep us in the loop as to how things go with him!

[Anna5]

Thank you for your support, Rocco!

It is bad, but sometimes I am even afraid of my husband, because he can become SO angry. I talked to him, and he promised that he will try to get a litlle bit less angry when I tell him about my teeth/jaw issues and insecurities. But how much I long for just a little bit of support, a little bit of understanding.... just words like 'do what you think is best for you, Anna, and I will support you' instead of 'if you go for surgery, I will try not to get angry (but I cannot 100% promise this) but I would totally not understand'.

[rocco11510]

Anna:

I am so sorry to hear about this. This sounds like it stems to a much bigger problem than Orthodontic treatment. This sounds like your husband has some issues. Have you two been to counseling? I'm just asking because this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, and the way your husband sounds, it sounds almost dangerous! (a hot head).

I wish you so much luck in dealing with him. Hang in there Anna!

[Anna5]

Thank you, Rocco. I must add that my husband is not a bad person, and in many ways he is very loving, caring and helpful to me, it is just the orthodontic treatment he doesn't seem to agree with. He finds me beautiful the way I am, with all my flaws, and he rather prefers me not to change them. My imperfect teeth don't bother him at all, he even never notices before I pointed it out two years ago. So I think he doesn't mean bad. But I think in the end what matters most is how I feel about this/myself and I should do what makes me happy! (and pass this happiness to him!)

[rocco11510]

Well that's a relief to hear! In that case, it sounds like you have a great man who cares very much for you and loves you just the way you are.

You're doing this for yourself, because it's important to you. I have a feeling over time he will realize that more and more.

Best of luck with your husband!

PS - On my end, braces day is TOMORROW for me. I have so many knots in my stomach right now, you have no idea.