What Happens When You Meet Other Adults in Braces?

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#46 Post by **Flora2006** » Sun Mar 26, 2006 3:43 pm

Same here, I actually love talking about braces on this board because you learn so much and you are talking to a group of people that are going through the same thing...but talking about braces face to face...I just can't do it. Maybe one day when I am more used to the braces I won't mind talking about them face to face but right now...this website is the only place where I will talk about them

#47 Post by **JumpTheDitch** » Sun Mar 26, 2006 6:19 pm

I'd just like to say not all adults "hide" behind ceramic braces.
I have full upper and lower metals.

My choice.
Not a choice about "setting an example for the kids that get full metal all the time". Frankly that's their business, my braces are my business.

Also my choice not to belittle or vilify those that choose ceramics for whatever reason. For one thing I actually happen to quite like the look of coloured ligs on ceramics/sapphires.

Whatever option people choose I applaud their decision to be proactive in their dental health and self-esteem.

I enjoy this forum; the sharing of common experiences, pooling knowledge gained, and offering whatever support I can if someone's having a tough time. If I had ceramics I might have been offended by that barbed comment.

*sigh* Why try to offend people?

#48 Post by **paw655** » Sun Mar 26, 2006 6:36 pm

Considering the nature of the comments many (but certainly not all!) people make to me, I thought offending people was an "occupational hazard" one had to expect here.

I have no problems if you are offended by the comment. I made it because of the 3 orthos I went to, all 3 pushed ceramics upper to be "less noticeable" and "better for adults so it is less obvious they have braces." I mean, the ortho community is pushing the idea of ceramics to be less obvious, so it's not just me.

#49 Post by **paw655** » Sun Mar 26, 2006 7:56 pm

I am not going to explain my comment for the third time. Interpret it however you want.

And people think I am sensitive?

#50 Post by **BlueeyedManda** » Sun Mar 26, 2006 9:02 pm

I have ceramics and I am not anywhere near self conscience about them. I choose them for my own reasons.
I think that jumptheditch sums it up perfectly you should not look at the reason a person choose the type of braces they did, you should be happy they had the courage to go through this process.
So what if some people are self-conscience and others like to show off their braces, this is what makes this board a great place to be a part of. I can come here when I am having a good day or a bad day and I know that I have friends here no matter what. If we all had the same type of braces or we were all happy about it we wouldn't have as much advice to give or we wouldn't have the questions we do.
Most orthos do push the ceramics issue because alot of adults do choose ceramics due to their work enviroments, even if they are not selfconscience they want to be taken seriously in a professional setting. Let's face it some non-braced adults do not understand why we choose to go through treatment so they may not be as readily accepting as others.
My ortho did not push ceramics or invisalign, he asked me what I feel I would like to go with. I work with a guy in his late 30's who wears all metals and he enjoys it. I have all ceramics, I enjoy it.
As for setting an example for the kids...what is that? I have seen some teens wearing ceramics, but generally orthos use metals on kids because ceramics are harder on teeth and kids are into sports, and other activities. Plus most kids enjoy metals for the colors.

#51 Post by **paw655** » Sun Mar 26, 2006 10:49 pm

I will explain my comment about the kids.

In addition to my regular practice, I will substitute teach when I can. I am currently on a 10-week assignment with high schoolers in a moderate/low income part of the county. It is a big school (2,700 students, grades 9-12) and like all schools, peer pressure is everywhere.

Not being a wealthy school, braces are not particularly common. Most students could use them, but my bigger worry is that they don't have health care, so ortho is on the back burner. For the students that do have braces, they are facing the usual peer pressure about looks, as well as being teased about "so rich you get braces" and "that's how your family spends its money???". While nice teeth are important, and I admire any family in this community that can afford to live here and pay for braces, it brings incredible shame and embarassment to the kids who do, because it "singles them out" which is the worst thing for a teen to have happen.

So when (due to get braced this week, pending finances) I come in to the classroom and the kids abuse me for the braces, which they will since they do about everything, and they ask "why do your top braces look different from the bottom ones?" or "why do you have 'normal' braces on the bottom but not on the top'? under no circumstance would I say anything about "wanting to be taken seriously in the work environment." What does that say to the student who has full metal? That there is something wrong, with metal braces, that they need to be hidden. Why should kids go through the "embarassment" of full metal, but adults don't have to? Heck, as adults we at least have the capabilites to deal with any grief we might get about braces, whereas teens haven't finished all that type of psychological development. FYI - I discussed this topics with the orthos I interviewed - virtually none will put ceramics on kids, which I find really interesting because only a fraction of kids are into contact-type sports, and generally (but not always) boys. So why a blanket policy?

If I can help send a message that it's OK to have braces that people see, to a student who may not get that message much, especially from an adult, then yes, I will and I do think it is important.

Oh, of the students I have seen with braces (maybe 20), none have colored ligs. I cannot imagine an ortho opening a practice in the area that would be anything other than nuts-and-bolts ortho, there's no market for it. I also cannot imagine anyone in the school showing up with colored ligs, knowing what is and is not valued at the school.

You live in your world, I live in mine.

Mon Mar 27, 2006 12:40 am

Both of my cousins' children (grades 7 and 5) play football, soccer, etc. and both of them have ceramic braces.

I would have gotten ceramics if my ortho would have let me. I think they are totally cool.

Mon Mar 27, 2006 12:51 am

Paw, haven't you said throughout this whole thread that you would be deeply offended if someone even mentioned your braces to you? Why would you say anything to your students then if they asked why your top braces were different then your bottom? Wouldn't you demand that your students respect your privacy the same as you would from your friends?

#54 Post by **BlueeyedManda** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 5:06 am

I grew up in a rural country setting where the family income is low and there is alot of people on welfare and state programs. The school I went to there were a lot of children who had braces and some who didn't. No one ever got teased for having them. Braces are a common thing now.
As for the colored ligs, you do not pay more to have them. The children you seen may go to an ortho who uses different braces. The ortho where I grew up did not use colors.
The practice I go to now does but I have seen others in my area who do not have the colors.
Yes some orthos will not put ceramics on kids. Some will.

#55 Post by **JumpTheDitch** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 8:14 am

I have no problems if you are offended by the comment.

And that pretty much sums it up, Paw655; you don't care how your comments and attitude affect other people.

I agree with KK, I'm eternally grateful you're in your world and nowhere near mine.

As for being a teacher; what a terrifying thought, exposing fragile young minds to such constant negativity and callous disregard for one's impact on others.

I grow weary of this stupid game; please find something positive or supportive to say, or don't say anything at all. Several of us have asked you nicely to refrain from negative and antagonistic posts. I think you are just trying to stir up trouble; how selfish; nobody enjoys this but you. We all have better things to do than defend ourselves and each other to you.

#56 Post by **zbbelgium** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:25 am

Have read this thread from start to finish I felt more stressed than I did before getting braced today. I feel compelled to write that I think Paw is getting a hard time. This is a forum where we support one another not attack one another's thinking/beliefs/actions..... If you don't like something move to another topic. Paw has her reasons for how she reacts to questions about braces and acting in school the way she has. Agree to differ!

If I was completely new to this forum I would have been totally put off writing once I'd read this thread.

#57 Post by **jcdamon3** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:36 am

Have read this thread from start to finish I felt more stressed than I did before getting braced today. I feel compelled to write that I think Paw is getting a hard time. This is a forum where we support one another not attack one another's thinking/beliefs/actions..... If you don't like something move to another topic. Paw has her reasons for how she reacts to questions about braces and acting in school the way she has. Agree to differ!

If I was completely new to this forum I would have been totally put off writing once I'd read this thread.

I am sorry that this was your introduction to this board and I am sorry you feel this way. There is alot of history to this and other posts which is why this all seems very strange. I hope you will stay and get the support you need.

#58 Post by **NotBob1** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:32 pm

Zbbelgium: This is unusual for a post. I have only been around about 6 months, this is the first time I have seen this much of an argument. It's bound to happen, though. We are all different.

I am actually amazed at how well we all get along here! For the most part eveyone is open and accepting.....If they are not, they tend to just disappear after awhile.

It's a very high quality board, I would stick around....You'll see what I mean.

-Pat

#59 Post by **Teigyr** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:25 pm

Zbbelgium, Notbob1 is absolutely correct. This is a fantastic board and I think part of the beauty of it is that people DO have their own opinions and most of the time discussions can be held with everyone's views being respected. There might be debate, at times, but that is a good thing.

I was thinking of this thread yesterday because I was at a pub and my waitress had braces. I was almost going to say something then realized that WE learned that 50% of the braced population doesn't appreciate it. I stayed quiet which was a struggle in itself. When she came back around to ask if we wanted more pints of beer, she asked ME how much longer I'd have my braces on. We gladly compared notes and I feel it was a positive experience.

The word "disability" ran through my mind because I believed having braces was compared to that....ie you wouldn't ask a disabled person what was wrong. I don't believe it is at all. We get these things by choice. Yes, we might NEED them but there is always the option to say no and just lose our teeth or whatever. I also think that we are all part of this society and world and we do have a bond in that then an additional bond with the braces. I would never ever be offended by a person, braced or non-braced, that wanted to talk to me about it. Who knows, maybe our non-braced questioners want braces but are too scared? Who better to talk to them about braces? Maybe the braced people just are glad to see someone else going through the same thing? I've even been asked how much mine cost. This was from an older asian woman who barely spoke english. I felt almost guilty for saying because I think she makes far less than me and I'm not so sure she has insurance. Then again, who knows. I spoke openly about it because sometimes it takes more bravery to ask questions than to answer them.

Lastly in reference to ceramics. I did initially want them because I was horrified about having metal "obvious" braces. My orthodontist said I could but it would add 6 mos to my treatment. I declined and made the decision to do whatever type he recommended. People get what they get for different reasons and I don't think it's because they are ashamed. Ceramics are noticeable, just not in an obvious metal type way. I'm sure if we asked everyone with ceramics, damons or any other type why they got what they got, we'd hear a variety of answers. The point is, you get what works for you.

I've met so many fantastic people from this site and from life in general just because I have braces, I think having braces is a perfect excuse just to say hi to another person in braces. Think of it as an icebreaker

#60 Post by **missing_tooth** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:46 pm

Reading these posts is a reminder of what a variety of people we have here.

- Missing Tooth -