Ever felt crooked teeth held you back in life (pre-braces)?

[Lisa65]

What will you do if , when you have the perfect teeth you so badly crave, you still don't get the guy or the job? What then?

I wonder that too, dubnobass. I am not in any way belittling the people on this thread who really truly believe that the state of their teeth has adversely affected their lives, because if they believe that their teeth have held them back, chances are that they HAVE been held back. The mistake I consider they are making is that they are purely blaming their teeth for all their problems, whereas (I believe) it is in fact how they feel about their teeth that are causing their problems.

I'm 42 years old and have hated my teeth all my life, but I never felt they held me back. I'm getting them done now because I can afford to, and it means I'll hopefully get to keep them longer because I'll be able to clean them properly. Plus I'll have a nice smile. BUT having crooked teeth never stopped me smiling before. My teeth aren't the only "imperfection" I have. I'm a bit overweight, I'm starting to go grey and I don't have a very good complexion - even at 42 I still get breakouts. Maybe people look at me and notice those things, but how far should I go to make sure I am aesthetically pleasing for others to look at? Or when do I just think "if they don't like the way I look, tough sh*t" My husband and my friends and family think I look just fine.

Like dubnobass, I could've got my teeth fixed for free in the UK, because they are THAT bad. I was given the opportunity to get them fixed for free 20 years ago and guess what? I refused, because I was enjoying my life and felt that orthodontics would interfere with that.

If you feel that getting your teeth fixed isnt a completely life changing experience, then honestly, you probably only have very minor problems that nobody can notice anyway.

Aren't you being treated with Invisalign Jenni? The vast majority of people on this forum are not candidates for Invisalign - and why? Because their problems are not "minor" enough. There are people here who will need braces for 3 or 4 years AND surgery, because their problems are so severe. The only thing braces are going to change are my teeth. They're not going to change my life. I'm not complacent enough to believe I can just sit back for 2 years or so, let somebody straighten my teeth for me, and my life will miraculously improve as a by-product of that. If I want to change my life, I have to do that myself.

I really do hope that Jennicakes, Jackie and others who feel the same way about being held back in life by poor occlusion of their teeth are proved right. I really do wish that for you. But it might be worth spending a little time considering the alternative, and thereby being prepared if it should happen.

[ohmyjaw]

I think my teeth have held me back, not necessarily because I have been belittled or rejected by others, but because I hated the way I looked. When you can't stand looking at yourself in the mirror, that holds you back. It seeps into everything else in your life. I don't believe I have been rejected by a man because of my teeth (if only relationships were that simple!!) nor do I think I have been denied jobs or other opportunities. But I do feel that my life has changed since getting braces, because I present myself with a lot more confidence, hold my head up higher, and so on.

[freerideuk]

i don't anna get attacked or anythin for sharing my opinion but i doo beleave under going my orthadontic treatment and my surgery it is a life changing experience

i know for fact i get judged on how my teeth/jaws look with having a underbite i have went through alot of bullying really soo much and the only reason was due to my teeth/bite i went through high school at the start afraid too even stuff to school i never joined in any clubs or anything i was sooo shy and i feel a i missed out on alot ........if that isn't me missing out on things due to my teeth/bite then what is it due too i couldn't doo things / interact with people as i knew they were going to make fun / torment me and there is noo reason other than my teeth

people doo judge you on your teeth

thats all am gonna say as am sure many people have managed to get through lif with out the teeth being an issue but for me they have been an issue ......some nasty peson before i got my braces on came up to me and said here mate you should get some braces to fix those things. people doo judge people on what they look like and teeth come into it and if you refuse to beleae it happens you need too come bk down to earth and read wat people like me are saying

xxxxx

[lionfish]

i don't anna get attacked or anythin for sharing my opinion but i doo beleave under going my orthadontic treatment and my surgery it is a life changing experience

i know for fact i get judged on how my teeth/jaws look with having a underbite i have went through alot of bullying really soo much and the only reason was due to my teeth/bite i went through high school at the start afraid too even stuff to school i never joined in any clubs or anything i was sooo shy and i feel a i missed out on alot ........if that isn't me missing out on things due to my teeth/bite then what is it due too i couldn't doo things / interact with people as i knew they were going to make fun / torment me and there is noo reason other than my teeth

people doo judge you on your teeth

thats all am gonna say as am sure many people have managed to get through lif with out the teeth being an issue but for me they have been an issue ......some nasty peson before i got my braces on came up to me and said here mate you should get some braces to fix those things. people doo judge people on what they look like and teeth come into it and if you refuse to beleae it happens you need too come bk down to earth and read wat people like me are saying

xxxxx

First up, I'm not about to attack you. I read what you're saying and I still have a different point of view.

I had an underbite too. And an open bite, cross bite and moderate overcrowding. My bite was bad. Real bad. But it never got in the way of my life.

I've only had one person make a crack about my teeth. That person has a fraction of my intellect, happiness and success in life. She also has very low self-esteem and her nice smile - inherited, btw - was about the only thing she had that I didn't. She is the sad person, not me.

As Dubnobass says, it's risky to place all your eggs in one basket. If you fix your teeth and then find that you're still not getting what you want from life, then what are you going to blame next?

[Dimples]

ohmyjaw and freerideUk, understand EXACTLY what you're saying.

When you are so ashamed of your teeth so bad, that you are afraid to hold your head up, or smile showing your teeth, or talk to people face to face,etc for fear out of what they might say or think of you/... and getting teased about your teeth,it effects your self esteem/confidence big time, hence effecting everything else in your life like a domino effect.
Some people may have thicker skin than others, they could care less what other people think, but everybody with crooked teeth doesn't feel that way, and does take a toll on their self esteem/confidence level.

[freerideuk]

i no it has everything to do with me but i had great confidence and self esteem until i got into high school and people picked up on my teeht/bite problem it was th nly thing that i was every bullied for i no that once its fixed that my self esteem problems wont be fixed but with noting for people to single me out with anymore i think i will regain it quite quickly

it wasn't that i was ashamed of how i looked and how my smile is am a very smiley person i constantly smile

it was how other people felt and i wasn't aloud to be happy with it as i couldn't literally go to school and forget about it from the amont of abuse i got so for me this will change my life in a very dramatic way

i totally agree it doesn't stop me getting jos it doesn't determine my class or what ever people are arguin about on this topic but it is a life changing experience

xxx

[PARR]

seems to me, whether one's teeth "look" crooked or crowded or not, whether one has a visible under or overbite or not, there may be things that "don't feel right. So whether visible or simply felt "off" one may not feel at one's best, or confident. How one feels affects how one perceives. Anyway, it is real for that person.

So there are teens who hate that they have braces and others who welcome it as a right of passage. THere are adults who cringe at the thought of having to go trough such treatment "late in life" and others who welcome the opprotunity to do something positive for themselves. (I'm in that last group)

[married2abuckeye]

I got bored trying to read through all the arguing in the 4 pages of posts on this topic so far, but I wanted to chime in anyway. So, I apologize if I am repeating what anyone said in a previous post.

I, for one, feel that my bad teeth DID hold me back in life, however, it held me back through contributing to my very low self esteem and low confidence level. If I'd felt better about myself, perhaps I would have had a better social experience during my university and college years. I don't care whether anyone actually judged me or didn't give me a job because of my imperfect smile, but I felt that the bad smile WAS the problem. Perception is reality, right?

Since I've gotten my braces, I feel my confidence level has increased. My job requires me to meet a lot of new people on a professional level, and while it is a little awkward at times to be in braces in my mid-30's, I feel that people are thinking "oh, she's fixing the problem, now she's cool!" - in a way, at least. I think for many people, their crooked teeth are so much deeper than a superficial issue, that when they get braces and fix the crookedness, it can change their whole attitude about themselves, and how they carry and present themselves. I don't think the straight smile will change my life in the way that $100 million would, but I think it will help me relate to others in a better way.

It kind of makes me think of the way losing weight affects people - it changes everyone in a different way.

Anyhoo that's just my take on this issue. If this makes no sense, just ignore it! Please do not reply in a negative manner or I may cry.



Oh, and I did meet and marry a wonderful man a few years ago, but I don't think it was despite my crooked smile, it was just meant to be

[lionfish]

Kirsten, what you say makes absolute sense.

[ohmyjaw]

Hi Meryaten,
You are absolutely right. My teeth are not going to wear out as quickly, thanks to my treatment! Thanks for reminding us.

[kiwigirl83]

I don't feel like my teeth have ever held me back although the crookedness/crowding of my teeth is not that obvious to the outside world and everyone is really surprised that I had had braces fitted!

I'm unsure as to how straight teeth equal a higher social/financial class. I kind of understand what you're trying to say but there are many examples that disprove the argument. For example, Prince Charles has not got the best teeth but he has plenty of money and status and if his teeth aren't top of his priorities then all power to him, that's his choice- it doesn't make him lower class though. Then you have people who don't have a lot of money but will save up for years for better teeth or work out some type of manageable payment plan with their ortho.

Regarding what men/women find attractive, I have to say that my last boyfriend, and my current gorgeous man, both have the most amazing, perfectly white, straight teeth (damn them!) which I found/find very attractive. However, the teeth were just an added bonus. I don't think I even noticed how lovely they were until a few weeks had passed as I was so caught up with all the other things that I liked about them. I can honestly say that if my current boyfriend suddenly developed crooked teeth and gained 20 stones I would still love him just as much as I am convinced that he is the most amazing thing the world has ever seen and I'm so in love with him (good grief, slushy time over!

Still on the topic of attractiveness, I have also dated a fair few male models etc who would be deemed stereotypically attractive. I thought that it was great to be seen out with a good-looking guy at first but it soon turned out that these men were the dullest, most personality devoid people I had ever met. Boring with a capital 'B'. I'm sure that there are plenty of male models who don't think that talking about themselves 24/7 is fascinating but I just wanted to make the point: good looks aren't everything!!! Personality rules.

[LaaLaa]

I just wanted to post my feelings regarding this issue because I took great offense at the thread starter's insinuation about the social classes of people who do not have perfectly aligned teeth from an early age. I personally think, coming to an online community made up mostly of adults going through orthodontic treatment and basically saying to the members here that since you are all adults and getting treatment now, you must be lower class or was lower class is ridiculous and you have no right to say such things.

I hope the posters who've contributed to this thread has at least given you a broader perspective about how financial issues are not the only reasons for delaying orthodontic treatment. As lionfish, Meryaten, and others have pointed out, there are so many other reasons that come in to play. Some people do pursue orthodontic treatment at a later time due to health issues that are obviously far more pressing than aesthetics. Other reasons could be moving around often due to your occupation, needing to use money on more important and necessary things, or even cultures because some do not worry too much about aesthetics.

As far as my personal story goes, your theory cannot be further from the truth. My mother comes from a medical background consisting of 3 doctors and 1 dentist; her father (my grandfather), a doctor specialized in family as well as internal medicine, who owned his own small hospital. My father comes from a family of lawyers and engineers, who himself works a respectable job so that mother does not have to set foot inside the work force ever again. Both my parents are well educated, graduating from good universities and I myself am attending a very respected university. Our family lives in one of the most expensive cities to live in, in the Pacific Northwest, mainly due to being known as one of the safest cities to live in here. My family moved quite often during my elementary to junior high years and I started junior college when I was a Junior in high school. You can see that we were pretty busy during those years and not settled enough to find a doctor who we were satisfied with. All my other family members have straight teeth just to let you know.

That was just my story but I don't need someone who I have no idea what kind of life she/he is living currently, saying how I'm considered to be in lower class. And I'm not saying this just for myself but for all the other members here because I CANNOT stand people who make judgments or stereotype people because of their appearance. Really, what does that say about you as a person?? Sure, the media might say certain things about certain issues but do you really have to believe and follow everything they say?? My parents have been paying for my very expensive college tuition since high school and I didn't want to put more strain on them financially; sorry for not being a spoiled brat who take everything for granted like most do nowadays or for wanting a great doctor who is at the top of their profession, instead of some schmuck, even if that meant the treatment may be delayed. So what, people have braces at an older age rather than the normal teenage years, what's so wrong about that??

Just a question though, if a person living in a dangerous city where there is constant gang or drug activity going on, has nice teeth, does that mean they are high class?? Since that's your definition of higher class. You must know certain areas are infested with these kinds of activities because it's cheap to live in. Some people would rather think about their safety and pay more to live in a good area with good schools and communities. Some people may even need to spend money on uncontrollable things like medical bills or to care for a loved one who needs special care. But seriously, don't go off telling people with braces how crooked teeth equals lower class because you're the one who's going to seem like a person without an ounce of class. Because class isn't just how much money you've got; it's everything from your background to how you act overall as a human being.

[Clairey Fairey]

I'm getting mine fixed purely for my own self-confidence, but then I do feel that they have held me back. I believe that once I'm happy with my teeth and smile that it will help me in many ways. My confidence has already improved over the years and this is the last thing that I feel I need to do in order feel really good about myself.

I also feel as though I have achieved something. It is difficult (especially here in the UK at my age) to get braces as its not common. Its even more difficult for someone who is already lacking in self esteem. So to me I'm proud of myself for deciding to go for it and sticking with it

[jennicakes]

ok....i must apologize to those of you who are getting your teeth fixed for non superficial reasons. I honestly never really thought about this, since i am getting mine basically for cosmetic reasons. I honestly assumed that my teeth were in worse shape than most people on this message board because where i live, EVERYONE i know has a nice smile! and i am not even from a rich area.....just a regular middle class neighborhood. I am used to being the only one in the room with bad teeth, so i am usually the exception. i forget that EVERYONE here has problems with their teeth, and from the sounds of it, many of you have it worse than me. I'm just not used to this. so for that, i apologize.

But the things i said about teeth holding me back in life, i continue to stand by. AS someone said earlier, teeth give you low self esteem, which is then perceived by others, which definately contributes to the lack of respect you get from people. Nobody can respect you, if you can't even respect yourself. But teeth also hold us back in ways that go beyond our control, and beyond our attitudes of ourselves. Some people WILL purely judge you based on superficial reasons, and sadly, this is why i say i have had a hard time getting a job, meeting people, etc. Alot of people wont look past the teeth, to get to know the true you.

so sorry if i offended anyone.

[Clairey Fairey]

Jennicakes - Yeah thats the piont I was trying to get across earlier in this thread. That its not nesssarily the teeth that held me back, (e.g. people wouldn't like me coz of my teeth.) It was me that assumed people would react like that, and me that looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. That lack of self esteem was what was rubbing off on to other people and holding me back, not the teeth themselves!! I also didn't dare apply for jpbs etc coz I just assumed people wouldn't like me!!

Karen - Although I was nerous about peoples reactions I can honestly say that having the braces has not been a difficult experiance because there hasn't been a bad word said. It was just having the guts to go through with it that was difficult and I'm proud to have made that decision. It would have been easy to just ignore and put up with the problem like I had done for so many years before!!
As usual I assumed it would be noticed and commented on by everyone, but it wasn't, I think I under estimate people sometimes, I assume all everyone will say is bad things, but I have since realised that, in general, people arent that shallow. It has given me a great confidence boost!!:D