Ortho and assistant are happiness police!

Message

#1 Post by **mominbraces** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 3:11 pm

Hello everyone,

I am 48 years old, and I got my braces one week ago.
I have known the ortho for a year, when he began treating
one of my kids. I felt rather anxious on the morning the
braces were applied, mostly because of the way I
expected them to look, at my age. As it turns out, I have
ceramic brackets and a metal archwire, and they
don't look bad at all.

So right before I was braced the ortho called
me into his office and said that he and the
assistant detected "negativity" on my part, and
that maybe I should not go through with it.
I said I was anxious for all the the usual
reasons -primarily my anticipated appearance - but
that I was certainly committed to the treatment.
I reminded him that I had gone through 5 periodontal
grafts in the previous 5 months in order to build up
enough gum tissue to support the treatment plan
he prescribed. These procedures were painful
and -even with my insurance coverage -expensive.
I told him that being a well-infomed and dedicated
patient was icing enough on the cake. Insisting on
the "happy" part struck me as pushing things, at
least for now.

The ortho kept saying he only wants happy patients.
Meantime his assistant, the negativity detector
and a very silent and humorless individual, stood
there glowering at me. The situation seemed
ludicrous to me. Since when do I have to beg
the ortho for a treatment that HE prescribed
and I'M paying for? Since when is it appropriate
to talk down to a well-motivated (albeit anxious)
patient (excuse me, customer)? Is
there a moral imperative upon me to be THRILLED
about the prospect of 2 years in braces, and all that
that implies?

So they braced me, but they haven't processed
my payments or anything. I suspect they are waiting
to see whether I will call up and scream to have the
braces taken off. There was some indication they
are worried about this possibility, the ortho kept saying
"if you're going to bail out, do it sooner rather than later".
Maybe he is worried about litigation??? These
exchanges were very jarring to me, and very different
from all the prevous encounters I had had with the ortho,
which had all been positive, cheery, upbeat, encouraging,
etc.

Am I being unreasonable? Acting like a prissy
old woman? Is it remotely possible the ortho/asst.
were being a tad overbearing? Do all othondontia patients
show up for their bracing with big smiles and
a "bring-in-on" manner? Thanks for listening.

#2 Post by **Flora2006** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 3:27 pm

In a way it's good to know that your ortho wants you happy...but this is pushing it a bit. You shouldn't have to explaine yourself like that, and you sure as hell shouldn't try to convince him that you want this and you are happy. Obviously if you are getting braces it's because you want a change, but that doesn't mean you have to be jumping out of joy when you see your ortho.

My ortho knows I HATE my braces and that I am very uncomfortable with them, and he justs talks to me and tries to find out why they bother me so much...and how I can always call him or go see him if I have questions.

I think you should talk to your ortho...clarify some things. When he told you that if you are going to bail, do it sooner than later...that was really out of line. An ortho should trust you and keep the patient on the good side...what he said implies, to me, that he doesn't believe you will keep the braces on.

#3 Post by **shinyam** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 3:58 pm

Since none of us know exactly what transpired, we cannot make any qualified judgments. However, it seems to me that any ortho who would rather not treat a client and take their money has a good reason. My guess is that you did have a very negative attitude because of all the grafts, and the prospect of two years in braces. Seeing it from the ortho's point of view, I can certainly understand why he would rather not begin treatment on a person who will turn their treatment into a long and unpleasant ordeal for both parties.

#4 Post by **paw655** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:17 pm

mominbraces,

I don't know if you read the thread on "off topic" where I discussed the ortho who absolutely humiliated me and said she couldn't treat me, solely because she found out I was diagonosed with bipolar disorder (which she didn't even ask me about to know which kind it was). When I read your post, my heart went out to you, because the ortho and assistant were belittling you for some reason but not telling you why.

As I see it, you are welcomed to have a good attitude or bad attitude, as long as you are compliant, and they cannot determine that without giving you the benefit of the doubt. Did they say WHAT they used to determine your "negative attitude" (or whatever) to give you the opportunity to explain? And why, if they had this concern, did they brace you in the first place.

Perhaps, to make money, then humiliate you??? Otherwise, they'd get to humiliate you, but not make money in the process. I don't know if you have had any negative interactions with them in your previous experiences with them, but maybe they are taking them out on you now, in an incredibley unprofessional and juvenile manner.

Would you be comfortable calling a conference with the three of them, where you are in charge, and stating - factually - your concerns and ask them, directly, if this was an attempt to get you to terminate treatment. I would do my very best to get them in a position where they say, almost verbatim, that either they are committed to treating you with respect for the duration of your treatment plan, or they will deband you, refund your money, and part ways. Give them the option, because you need to see where they really are coming from.

As I see it, you are absolutely not overreacting or anything like that. Maybe this is what you need to get you to a better ortho..

Good luck, keep us posted.

Allison

Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:26 pm

Mominbraces, that was an interesting experience. If it happened to me I know I would feel very apprehensive about pointing out small complaints for fear they might think I was a big negative influence. And I have some small complaint every time I go...like a pokey wire, or something like that. Maybe you should ask for a private room so that you don't 'disturb' the rest of his happy realm.

What a let down that must have been for you. I'm sorry. Talk about being negative. Tell them that THEY are the ones bringing YOU down!

#6 Post by **mominbraces** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:53 pm

Thanks, everyone, for the perspectives. Well, they processed my
payment. So I guess that's progress. Way Too Old really hit the nail on
head with the comment that, after getting off to this wonderful start,
I anticipate feeling very apprehensive about voicing any discomfort.
But, I am optimistic that I will have a relatively painless experience.
I've had the usual first week discomforts, the insides of my mouth
are sliced and diced up -but if that's as bad as it gets, then I'll be
in good shape for the remainder of the duration.

The irony of this whole situation is that, now that I am
actually braced and it doesn't look nearly as visible as I
feared -I am THRILLED to be finally doing this! I am probably the
most positive patient he has! If only I could have seen some
high-quality, closeup photos of ceramic braces beforehand,
I would have had alot less anxiety to begin with.

#7 Post by **mtbrncofn** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 11:55 pm

I honestly can't see what business it is of theirs to decide if you're happy or not. Who cares? I'm sure there are plenty of people who aren't happy in braces.

Your situation seems very odd to me, that an ortho would actually call you out on something so ridiculous. I'd be uncomfortable if I was in your situation, but that's just MO.

Best of luck with your extra perceptive ortho and his assistant.

#8 Post by **NotBob1** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 8:01 am

Everyone is free to flame, contradict me, tell me that I am judgmental, etc., but that is just absurd! If you are being negative outwardly and affecting others, fine. I doubt, though, that this is the case. You decided to go ahead with this with the said ortho, so I will not go much further. Let's just say you are more tolerant than I would have been.

I remember going for a consult about 5 years ago ( I am 36 now) and the Ortho wanted to make sure I had the support of my PARENTS!!!!!!! If not, he did not want to proceed. Fine, then we won't proceed. Thanks for wasting my time and consultation fee. Idiot. I suppose morons grow up to be dentists and orthos, too. I pretty much dropped the pursuit of ortho treatment back then, until now.

My present ortho Is very business like & friendly. She is a "just the facts, m'am" type and also polite & nice about it.

#9 Post by **mominbraces** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 9:03 am

There has to be an explanation for some of these
weird orthos stories I am reading on this thread -including
mine. I doubt it's because of the kindness of their
own hearts. Although one would think that these practitioners
must carry decent malpractice insurance, they sure
are acting as if they have litigation worries. Call me
cynical if you want, but these people are busy enough
already. Who among them has the time and wherewithal
to obsess over a patient's happiness, parental approval
(for adults) or mood disorders... unless it's fear getting
sued if a patient that is braced and depressed commits
suicide, or if a patient bails out halfway through and
winds up with an even more messed-up mouth.

#10 Post by **NotBob1** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 12:04 pm

In the work I do, I have quite a few dentists and a few orthos as clients. I usually get to know most of the ones that are regulars and we become arm's length acquaintances. Typically they are control freaks, my way or the hi-way types and divorced or soon to be. This, of course, is not always the case, but typically. I believe it really has to do with control. They have to be in control of the movement of the teeth, and generally they are of the obsessive personality type. It can bleed into everything else, too. These types of people get into their own little world and their office has to be this perfectly well oiled machine and no outside influences can disturb this microcosm. This is moreso true, I believe, with the orthodontist than the dentist.

I think what I am describing is the extreme case, but it appears that mominbraces ran into an extreme case. The nice thing about it is that she will likely have a flawless upper and lower arch!

#11 Post by **Flora2006** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 12:12 pm

NotBob1 wrote:The nice thing about it is that she will likely have a flawless upper and lower arch!

lol very true. My ortho is a perfectionnist so I know that once I'm done, my teeth will be perfect!

#12 Post by **Marzipan** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 12:29 pm

A bit off-putting to say the least! Like you, I'm 48. The braces have been on since mid-December 2005 and I'm doing A-okay.

After my consult the orthodontist told me to call or email with any questions or concerns. We exchanged several emails in which she answered every question I asked. In the end - no doubt sensing my hesitation - she advised that, unless I felt certain about doing it, it would be better not to do it. I appreciated that advice.

I found this message board and read a ton of people's stories

I cancelled my first appointment (out of fear), waited a couple of weeks, then made my final decision and made another appointment for getting braced. So when I showed up she said (in a very friendly way - she's got a great personality), "I really thought you had decided against." I told her I had thought it over very carefully and taken her advice into consideration and decided to proceed. She accepted my decision, put on the brackets and voila! I'm doing great.

Recently she said, "It's turned out to be not as bad as you worried, hasn't it?" Which is quite true.

I believe medical/dental/other professionals owe their best professional opinions and advice to their clients/potential clients. That said, they should also treat their clients like adults (unless they are kids) and respect their decisions.

#13 Post by **stclair5211** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 12:52 pm

My turn! My turn!

That is pretty odd behavior for an ortho I think. I could see that if you were a young patient, obviously the kid had better be committed and the parents too. As an adult I don't think you would be there unless you were pretty serious and committed. One thing I have realized is we - the patients, seem to make a bigger deal out of getting/wearing braces than needs to be the case and to have your ortho do the same thing is strange to me. There job as the professionals is to make you feel good and feel positive about what your doing, maybe in their minds they were doing that. I agree with KK, if it was some kind of technique they were using it was awfully strange. Who knew they looked for "negativity"? I thought brushing like your suppose to, wearing your elastics, showing up on time. etc. was it. Better make sure I am extra happy at my next adjustment!

#14 Post by **raleighsmile** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 1:02 pm

Mominbraces-

I don't think you are overreacting at all. That is a very strange experience.

I remember at my consultation with my Orthodontist, after he reviewed my treatment plan with me.....he looked at me very seriously and said "I want you to understand that this is going to take commitment," he said, "you are going to have to want to do this to be able to finish."

I didn't take that remark personally. I think he probably picked up that I was nervous and was preparing me that it was not going to be pleasant all the time. From having the braces on now just over 3 months, I now know exactly what he was talking about. I have days when I really don't like having braces on....but I want this....so I'm sticking with it.

He also sent a letter to my dentist and he mailed me a "cc" letter of it also. I thought it was interesting because there was a short paragraph in the letter that described me personality. He described me as "pleasant, professional, and commited." I found that to be interesting, especially since my dentist has known me for 9 years.

Oh well.....who knows why orthodontist do everything they do...every appointment I have is always a mystery about what is coming up next.

-Chris

#15 Post by **Leslie022** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 1:16 pm

If that had been me, I probably would have walked out and found a different orthodontist. You are the patient (customer) and you have the right to feel however you wish. It is only natural for someone to be nervous or apprehensive about making such a big commitment. You are paying him for his dental services not psychological services.