For those with no dating hopes..

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#1 Post by **ebjones1** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:12 pm

I know that a lot of us out there worry about how braces will affect our social lives. Personally, I didn't worry about that until recently - I just ended a three year relationship - It was always one of those, "Well he loves me for me and doesn't care about the braces!".. which was true, but to make a really long story short, we are no more. Anyway..

All that has happened really got me worried - I started, like many of you out there, to think about braces and how others might perceive me. One of my main concerns was that a guy would approach me, and then I'd open my mouth to say something and he'd be repulsed by all the metal. Well this weekend proved that wrong, and I feel SO positive about my braces now..

I was at a bar on Saturday having a drink with a friend, when a very attractive guy came up and sat down with us.. We talked for awhile and he bought us drinks, but I didn't really think much of it. Later on, I went to the bar (by myself) to close out my tab.. and he came up to me. He said, "You're beautiful. You have such a gorgeous smile." I thought he was crazy! I know I gave him a funny look - that's what 5 martinis does to you, hehe - and before I could even say anything, he said, "And don't even worry about the braces. You're gorgeous."

I didn't know what to say! It's like he read my mind.. Granted, I have no plans on seeing him again (no guys for me right now - always seems the nice ones come along at the most inconvenient times!).. but it really made my night.

Just thought I'd share..

#2 Post by **katmc_tx** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:42 pm

ebjones1, that is really great !!

I'm sure that gave you a great feeling. I know that when I first got these suckers on I was like

I look like a dork, geek, etc...

But my husband tells me on a regular basis how cute I look

.
I'm sure everything with your love life will work it self out. And just know that when the right guy comes along it wont/shouldnt matter to him about your braces. It will be the person you are and not your braces the falls in like/love with. Good luck in the future!!

#3 Post by **Iceolated** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:49 pm

ebjones1,

Oh how I empathize and agree with you. I think there is entirely too much emphasis placed on physical appearance in this world. Every person has an inherent beauty regardless if they have braces, glasses, good teeth, bad teeth, bald, slim, heavy, tall short or any other trait.

I am so happy for you that you realize there are people who can see past the metal. Never let anyone make you fell like you're a lesser person because you have braces.

I will be proud to wear my braces because I know that very very few people are born with a perfect smile, the rest of us must earn it. Chances are that any person who criticizes braces could themselves use the help of such an appliance. That you are wearing braces shows that you are improving yourself and it shows you care about your health. Because as we all know correctly aligned teeth are easier to care for and that easier care will likely prevent other problems in the future.

Keep your head up and show your ever improving smile. Ignore those who see you only as a set of braces as they are probably not worthy of your time or attention anyway.

Cheers,

Ice.

#4 Post by **Geri** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 2:09 pm

ebjones1 - I'm so glad you met a nice guy who complimented you so wonderfully. Braces are a good way to say 'I value myself' - something I always find attractive in a person. Good luck with tons of movement and meeting more nice guys!

#5 Post by **jaswi** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 2:22 pm

I know from a personal standpoint a girl in braces has never been a turn off. However I fear that as a guy girls are going to think less of me when I have braces.. I feel there is a definate double standard in this regard, which kind of scares me, as I'm not currently in a relationship, but would really love one.

#6 Post by **missingu** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:47 pm

jaswi wrote:I know from a personal standpoint a girl in braces has never been a turn off. However I fear that as a guy girls are going to think less of me when I have braces.. I feel there is a definate double standard in this regard, which kind of scares me, as I'm not currently in a relationship, but would really love one.

What is the perceived double standard?

#7 Post by **DichCa** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 5:27 pm

aw that brought a smile to my face and a huge sense of relief. I have been stressing about that since i got my braces! It's always so nice to know that there are people who do not focus on minor things, such as braces. When it comes to guys having braces, no fear my friend! The last two guys i was interested in had graces!

Either way, thank you for the story!

#8 Post by **Shawnie** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 7:17 pm

I enjoyed reading your story. That was such a nice compliment, and at just the right time because of your break up.

Best of luck to you. You never know when your going to be ready for another relationship. It's always when you least expect it.

Take Care
Shawnie

#9 Post by **ebjones1** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 6:57 am

Thanks everyone for your kind words.. It was such a good experience for me - I felt negative both for my braces and the end of my long-term relationship, and this guy kinda reinforced the fact that both were going to be okay!
It helped that he was cute, too.. He was looking at my smile and I was looking at his butt!

hehehe! Sorry.. couldn't resist..

#10 Post by **Joanna20** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 7:04 am

Hey, I'm REALLY concerned with how I'm going to look to. Actually I'm depressed over it. But hey, no pain no gain!
I've decided that in the first weeks I may not go out as much as I used to, but with time and some patience I will get my life back I'm sure.
I've been waiting for so long that when I finally have them on I'll be so glad I've been given this chance that I won't worry that much. I guess in a way it's good having to wait. I do wonder about my self esteem afterwards.
Take care,
Joanna

#11 Post by **Leslie022** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 8:31 am

That was a concern of mine when I was first braced. I've had so many men and even women tell me that I look cute with the braces. I wonder if people realize how great a simple comment can make one feel when they're so insecure? It puts a big smile on my face!

#12 Post by **Charles08b** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 9:22 pm

Wow, can you send this guy my way???

#13 Post by **Duffle** » Wed Apr 19, 2006 3:17 am

I know how you feel ebones1. When I had my braces put on over two years ago I was single and going through a divorce. I was convinced I'd be single at least until the braces were off. But no! I had loads of male attention which was lovely and which built on my self-esteem which is helpful after a divorce and getting braces despite the decision to get braces is a positive step it does signficantly alter your appearance and not for the better in the very beginning.

Anyway after about 8 months of brace wearing I met my wonderful boyfriend and we have a beautiful 7 month old son. I never dreamed that things would turn out so positive for me. Although I don't attribute any of this to having braces it does make me realise that wearing braces is not a barrier to have a great social life.