a bit of a rant

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#1 Post by **jetxness** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 7:30 pm

i don't know if any one else has experienced this.

over the course of the past month i've had braces, several times now (including twice late this week) complete total strangers have come up to me to try to give me a lecture regarding my braces. they have all assumed that this is braces round number two for me and that previously i had been an 'irresponsible teenager' and wrecked the work that had been done/wasted money that had been spent.

this isn't round number two. it is round number one. i do take care of my teeth and i did so even when i was younger. not having braces before was both a financial (my father was unemployed when i was first told i needed braces at age 9) and later one of those parental 'nature ---ie crowded teeth with over bite--- is better' opinion issues...it's now reached the point where the damage is visible and therefore was less of a discussion.

most people either don't notice/mention my braces and people in my own age group just generally end up telling stories of when they had them when they were younger.

i guess i just feel defensive that people are so fast to judge and make assumptions about a 21/22 year old having braces and feel so strongly about it that they have to lecture about it.

a slightly older friend of mine who also had braces in his early twenties told me he experienced the same thing. where is this coming from?

</rant>

#2 Post by **jenfire** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 7:43 pm

Hmm, I'm sorry you've had to experience this jetxness. Sometimes people just don't know when to mind their own business...even if you were an irresponsible teen (which you weren't), it is still none of their business. I don't really have any advice to give you for dealing with these jerks other than telling them to mind their own business or simply ignoring them.

ETA: I just noticed your posting Meryaten. Right on! haha

~jenfire

#3 Post by **rexthedestroyer** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 8:43 pm

jetxness,

I am one of the few people who condones violence. Next time some freak has something negative to say about your pur braces I say punch them in their face. It would be preferable to knock out their teeth. (SARCASM)!

In all seriousness wtf! What is up with Canada? I didn't think people had the gall to do such a thing. Pretend they are the homeless and just keep walking away (I hope there are no homeless on this board).

Good luck, when you get your braces off make sure to get them whitened nice and good. Give them something else to hate you for. Like my sister always say "pay them fools no mind they just hatin"!

#4 Post by **Zondrae** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:40 pm

some people huh?

Just tell them to mind their own business next time. You don't have to justify yourself to ANYONE.

#5 Post by **texbrace** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 10:46 pm

rexthedestroyer wrote:jetxness,

I am one of the few people who condones violence. Next time some freak has something negative to say about your pur braces I say punch them in their face. It would be preferable to knock out their teeth. (SARCASM)!

I agree, My concept has always been kill them all and let god sort it out. j/k:lol:

But seriously, all the people who are putting other people down just shows that they are insecure with themselves. don't let those jerks get under your skin!

#6 Post by **jetxness** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 11:35 pm

yes, one of my later thoughts as well was that perhaps i have run into some irritated/irate parents who do have irresponsible children and they are judging me to be the same and venting at me?

although it is one thing to make these assumptions about people, it is another thing to actually share them with the person in question on the ttc (our transit system/subway) or in a restaurant.

thanks for all of the support. i have been pretty much ignoring them but just got really frustrated with it happening again today.

i have been grouping these people into the same group as those who go up to a young woman and call her a slut for having something as simple as a bra strap showing while wearing a tanktop --- a slightly unrelated example but it shares a lot of the same qualities of making assumptions/rudeness/people lacking the ability to mind their own business etc...sadly more common though

time to go

and then

...it's 2:30am

#7 Post by **bbsadmin** » Sun Aug 20, 2006 6:41 am

You could sweetly smile and, with a totally quizzical innocent look on your face say something like "Excuse me, but I don't understand what you're talking about. I never had braces or retainers as a child. I just got my braces on X months ago."

That should be enought to elicit and apology.

#8 Post by **Chris** » Sun Aug 20, 2006 8:59 am

You could do what a friend of mine does when someone says something totally inappropriate. She looks from side to side (as if the person were talking to someone else) and then shrugs her shoulders and walks away never saying a word. Sometimes not saying anything makes them think about what they said even more.

#9 Post by **Gennel** » Sun Aug 20, 2006 9:28 am

That is totally crazy ! How could they assume you had them when you were younger and were irresponsible? I would be upset too.

Before Igot braces I used to see people with braces and look at their teeth but not say a word. I only saw people that appeared to have really straight teeth wearing braces and that always confused me! Now I know they had been wearing them for many months and their teeth were aligned. I used to think to myself " what is she doing wearing braces with straight teeth" It was my ignorance of course. But I NEVER said anything to anyone with braces!

Yesterday was my daughter's birthday party and 3 of us there have braces on. Of course the topic was about braces for about 1 hr!

Gennel

#10 Post by **tin_grin** » Sun Aug 20, 2006 11:11 am

I've only had mine one month (I'm in my 30s), and I haven't yet had anyone assume this isn't the first time. We shall see...

Whenever I saw an adult with braces (I haven't seen many), I always thought it was cool! I used to be envious too; now I don't have to be.

#11 Post by **jennandtonic** » Sun Aug 20, 2006 12:11 pm

I agree with bbsadmin's suggestion. Even though you may be irate at this person inside, if you say something along those lines I bet that would elicit an immediate apology, because that is totally uncalled for!