Some advice I need.

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#1 Post by **Joanna20** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 4:46 pm

Hello to u all

For some of you who have been reading my "story" know that I am having 4 teeth extracted, right. About 2 weeks before my adjustment I went to a restaurant and had a family dinner, I was telling my uncle and my aunt how I could get extractions, they know nothing about orthodontics and so they were very suspicious, my mum (who also doesn't know anything about orthodontics) says I definately don't need them...
I know I need them, I trust my ortho, so that ain't a problem, the thing is - I haven't told ANYONE in my family, and I planning on not telling them at all. I don't see them very often and I guess maybe I could smile without really showing my teeth, and a few months later they would never notice it!
What do you think?
I feel as if I tell them they will fill me with negativity and words like "you're gonna have that gap there forever"...

Joaninha

#2 Post by **lionfish** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 4:52 pm

Go with what feels right for you. And remember, you're doing this for you, not them. If they're negative about your treatment, don't let it intrude into your space.

#3 Post by **stRaighteR** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 5:13 pm

are u paying for it? if u are, then it's up to u...and i have rarely heard of gaps being left after orthodontic treatment

#4 Post by **ssfw** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 5:22 pm

I chose not to tell anyone I was beginning ortho treatment. Sometimes the more people you tell, the more opinions you get. I knew I was happy with my decision. I truly don't feel there is a need for you to hide your braces - be proud of them and if you happen to get negative opinions just ignore them. I have not received any negative feedback on my decision to go through with ortho treatment.

ssfw

#5 Post by **Dramagyrl** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 6:16 pm

I had a similar situation.
My mom was not supporting my braces decision at first because in her opinion:
a) I didn't need them enough. Some of my siblings have worse teeth
b) Too costly, same reason she didn't get them for me as a child
and most importantly c) She knew it would change my face

The ortho told me I'd lose a bit of my bottom pouty lip, which she loves, and I would have a more pronounced chin and jaw. "You're beautiful how you are," stuff like that was what I initally got. Plus it apparently changed my sister's face big time when she got them as a teen and one of her teeth shifted back into irregularity after treatment, so she's positive my teeth will never be perfectly straight.

When I told her that I'm going ahead with treatment, I'm serious about it and it's important to me, I added to her that it's important for me to feel like I have support, especially from her because we're so close.

Once she realized what it meant to me and the fact that I was serious, she totally changed her tune. Since then, she's noticed I'm getting a more prominent chin and even made a comment that it looks better- that she didn't realize until she saw the change that I didn't have much of a chin.

I'd say do what feels best for you, but sometimes it takes being firm with family to recruit support.

#6 Post by **NatalieMac** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 10:43 pm

Oh, my Mom told me that I was crazy for even considering the time and expense of ortho. In her opinion, I should have all my teeth pulled out and get dental implants!

I told my dentist that and she said that if I found a dentist who would remove a mouthful of perfectly healthy teeth and put in dental implants to sue them for malpractice. Hmph.

My mom had terrible teeth and was in full dentures by the time she was 20. I'm sure her own experiences color her opinion, but my teeth are in great shape.

#7 Post by **stRaighteR** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 10:46 pm

the cost of extractions and dental implants for all those missing teeth would cost more than the ortho and probably take more time too

#8 Post by **Lisa65** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 5:30 am

a full set of implants costs about Â£30,000 in the UK. You'd have to have an awful lot of orthodontia for it to cost that much lol

#9 Post by **Jillianleab** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 11:36 am

It's strange how family can sometimes be unsupportive, isn't it? My mom didn't reall encourage me once I decided to get braces, and told me to go have them taken off because I was complaining one day! BUT, she tells everyone she sees that we both know (my neighbor, he co-workers) that I got them. When I told my cousin (who is 37), she said, "BRACES? And you're HOW old??" Then there was my sister-in-law (she's 13), "I hope I never have to have braces; they're ugly".

After all that, I still went through with it, and really don't regret it at all. My husband has been really supportive, so has my other sister-in-law. Personally, if I were in your situation, I'd get my extractions and proudly show them off and make it a point to tell everyone how much they are shrinking and closing. Then again, I'm a bit of a smart ass

#10 Post by **sjsarre** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 1:45 pm

My mum couldn't understand why I wanted treatment and said that I was beautiful as I was and thats the way I was made... She said that I wouldn't be her daughter without that smile she was used to..

Then I reminded her that I always looked miserable and never smiled...

So really there was no further negativity as I said that I would have a coathanger smile once I was finished...

#11 Post by **Joanna20** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 2:12 pm

Hey guys, thanks for the advice. Once the bill gets to our house I'll hide it from my mum for a while (untill the extraction gaps close) - she'll never notice it because itÂ«s autom. taken from her account...! The worse thing is I'm having the uppers done like in January!
Hey, once they're done - she can't put them back

Joanna

#12 Post by **SDFD TSchott** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 3:34 pm

NatalieMac wrote:Oh, my Mom told me that I was crazy for even considering the time and expense of ortho. In her opinion, I should have all my teeth pulled out and get dental implants!

I told my dentist that and she said that if I found a dentist who would remove a mouthful of perfectly healthy teeth and put in dental implants to sue them for malpractice. Hmph.

My mom had terrible teeth and was in full dentures by the time she was 20. I'm sure her own experiences color her opinion, but my teeth are in great shape.

Just for your information I was quoted by all the dental people I've delt with and this is what I was quoted:

EXTRACTIONS + IMPLANTS = $6,789 dollars plus missing 2 weeks of working

EXTRACTIONS + ORTHODONTIC BRACES = $3,489 or somewhere along that line and NOT missing any work

SDFD TSchott
Code 4

#13 Post by **Leslie022** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 6:45 am

Normally, I would use the cliche, "Ignorance is bliss," but I'm not sure in this case. Sure, your extended family need not know about anything you're doing, your mother, however, is a difference case. If she is paying for your treatment, then I'm sure she needs to know. How could she not notice a chunk of money missing from her account? What if an unexpected bill pops up? Has she spoken with your ortho and has he/she explained why you need the extractions? It just seems as though you're setting yourself up for trouble where your mother is concerned.