Metal Mouth Message Board

Hello and Happy Holidays to all.
I have had my braces on for exactly one year and have perhaps 8 months left to go. Although it was definately a good decision for me, I am not sure how to approach the "dating scene."
I am 35 and newly single(never married). I am well-educated, athletic (a runner), and considered attractive. I have been toying with the whole "online dating" situation and am not exactly sure how or when I should tell my date about my braces...Any suggestions? Should I say something before we meet or just show up? It is not an easy thing to work into a conversation....
Thank you
Isabel

I had similar concerns with online dating but ended up thinking it would be alot weirder to bring it up than to just show up. In fact, my date actually was jealous b/c they were supposed to get braces but didn't have the courage to do it! It was not what I was expecting--pretty funny! So don't wrry about it--if you make it a big deal it will be, but if you don't fixate on it then the won't either!

*aka

Hi Isabel,

I don't think it really will matter too much. I have had friends who had braces and dated and it really didn't matter, braces are pretty common these days.

If you feel you need to tell an online date you can, but I don't think anyone will go running away because you have braces. I say don't say anything and see if they notice.

Just let your fabulous self shine through. If you meet someone and they have issues with you having braces- run- in the other direction because they are not worth your time.

For the advice. I am going to do the old "just show up" routine and see what happens. I will let you know...
Izzy

Agree with not telling in advance. I don't mention my braces to anyone. After almost 2 months, I am not selfconscious when I see people I haven't seen since getting them or when I meet new people. Frankly, my dear, etc.

I don't like talking about them. One person (who I barely know) asked me why I got braces and I said, "I have braces? Who knew." Maybe that shows I haven't really accepted them yet.

Anyway, I'd go on the date and never bring it up and if the date brings it up, I'd act like it was no big deal. As in, "oh yeah, Ido have braces, I just keep forgetting."

But that's just me.

Elle

Its a lot like the "braces in the workplace" topic that comes up around here periodically. Most people don't give our braces a second thought. Heck, some don't give them a first thought! Our braces are a much bigger deal to us than they are to 99.9% of the population.

When I was back in my dating days I recall seeing an online ad from a very atractive lady that included a statement like, "I am not smiling in any of my pictures because of my braces. Don't worry, they will be gone this summer." I remember thinking, how cool that she cares enough about her smile to get braces as an adult, but who cares if they show in pictures or when they are coming off?"

I don't see the problem with having braces.

Most people don't even notice unless they pay careful attention to your mouth.

When I first got my braces I was very self-concious as I worked as front line staff (directly with the public).

I remember thinking everyone was staring at my braces when I was speaking.

When I went back to university after a year out, most people didn't even realise I had braces or didn't feel it necessary to comment on it.

When I first started seeing my boyfriend I thought it would be difficult as I have braces and he was my first proper boyfriend (still is ).

It hasn't been a problem at all, i'm glad to say.

What everyone is saying is true. It really won't matter. I remember when I was doing the online dating gig, I had two dates that had braces. One I knew ahead of time and one I did not. It made no difference to me.

I say just show up since you've had them for quite a while. I did ask a date who met me prior to getting braced while waiting for a movie to start (many topics come up then lol) to ask if he'd feel any differently. He told me it wasn't a big deal he had them. That was that.

I only asked him since I thought he's someone withstanding. I haven't brought it up to anyone else.

If there is one thing I've come to realize through this braces thing is that anyone worth being with HAS to be supportive of something like braces.

This is something temporary, and in most cases, it is to correct a medical problem, ie possible gingivitis, TMJ...

If the person cannot be supportive, even understanding about it, why waste your time with the immture idiot? We are all adults here, and the next good relationship, it just be IT; how can one expect to share their lives with someone who cannot work with the temporary inconvenience of braces? There are so many things that can go wrong in life, and every one of us deserve to have someone to be there for us, and by not being supportive, it just shows that this person is not capable of being there for you later on in life when things go bad.

From the reactions I get from people, it seems that a lot of adults are getting braces, or they have seriously thought about it; I don't think that there will be too many knuckleheads out there.

If I were to do an online dating thing, I wouldn't mention it, and like Elle suggested, downplay them. She's got a good point. I think we, the braced, are much more conscious of it than those who aren't because we are the ones with a mouth full of extra equipment. Like the lispy thing, no one seems to notice that I have a lisp but myself.

I ran into friends whom I haven't seen for a while this past weekend, and it took them a good two hours to figure out that I had braces

I would be kind of shocked if my date would have braces...
And kissing a brace mouth... ugh!!!! I somehow relate braces to pimples.
I would see just a swetty teenie boy face full of pimples...

I think my market value is going to be lower after taking braces.

I just wonder how many other members of this forum think that Braces are ugly..

platinum wrote:I would be kind of shocked if my date would have braces...
And kissing a brace mouth... ugh!!!! I somehow relate braces to pimples.
I would see just a swetty teenie boy face full of pimples...

I think my market value is going to be lower after taking braces.

I just wonder how many other members of this forum think that Braces are ugly..

I bet you'll get a lot of criticism for being this candid, Platinum. Everybody here is very nice, supportive, and positive, and it's wonderful! But sometimes, this whole "politically correct" is a little annoying. Come on guys, be honest ! It's not like we live in a wonderland! Get REAL! Not everybody thinks braces are no big deal, especially in the dating scene! Or else we live on two different planets !

And IMHO, I too would be shocked if an online date didn't tell me about the braces beforehand. I might be wrong though. Just my two cents...

[quote="broochie]
I bet you'll get a lot of criticism for being this candid, Platinum. Everybody here is very nice, supportive, and positive, and it's wonderful! But sometimes, this whole "politically correct" is a little annoying. Come on guys, be honest ! It's not like we live in a wonderland! [/quote]

Yep... I just told my opinion. I will look awful when I get my braces. Whenever I speak or laugh my teeth show clearly. Luckily there is a possibility to swop to invisalign

To me, for a person I've already known, I will be glad seeing him/her in braces if he/she decides to wear braces to improve dental health. However, for online dating issue, I think letting your date know you in braces before meet is a good point. Braces should be treated as another characteristics like height, weight, hair color, eye color... It's just simply informative. I don't think anyone will refuse to meet because of braces but this should be mentioned beforehand to avoid some "staring" from your date because of innocent curiosity. And maybe... it prepares your date some "interesting" topics to talk with you.. Well, you never know...