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Braced for 3 months, and NOW I'm single

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:02 pm
by dmartell1856
Ok, so I dated a girl for almost 3 years and she had an associate's degree in dental hygeine. She encouraged me to get braces so in March, I finally did. Well, a few weeks ago, we mutually agreed to call it quits (mainly because we both moved to new cities 200 miles apart in January...not because I got braces...she was supportive of that the whole way). Anyways, now that we're broken up, I'm feeling VERY self conscious when talking to girls. That is NOT me. I mean, I've always had a high level of self confidence and I think I am very attractive...except that now I have braces. I'm thinking about telling my orthodontist that I want to abort my treatment. The one tooth that I had that was really out of alignment is almost perfect now. If I do abort, I will probably wait until at least September, but I really think it's going to be hard for me to meet a girl with a mouth full of metal. People say that noone notices or cares.....but that's just not true. Noone wants to kiss a can opener. Anyone got any advice? Maybe a success story? Thanks.

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 1:18 am
by Clairey Fairey
Both me and my boyfriend had braces at the same time!!

People who will judge u coz u where braces aren't worth going out with in the first place. They are probably really shallow with no personality.
Its not imposible to meet someone just coz u have braces. Infact speaking from a female piont of view, I would find it attractive that someone had the guts to have braces as an adult and doesn't care what people think.

Confidence is what attracts most people!!

If someone won't go out with u coz u have braces I'd tell them where to go!! And definately don't abort your treatment, for the sake of some shallow minded girls. Surely getting that perfect smile will help u in the long run anyway!!

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 3:08 am
by acrobat
I'm a 22 year old single girl and i can assure you, braces don't change anything to your dating life.

I figured that guys who aren't interested in me now would not have been interested in me without braces either and those who are interested in me now don't care about the braces or think they make me special, cute, attractive.
And kissing with braces is no problem. Actually, the few (it starts to sound like i date another guy every week, it's not!) i've kissed didn't mention it or said something like: wow you really can't notice the braces :lol:

And don't say that it's different because you are a guy, because then you offend all the girls and women on this forum, we are opend minded enough not to care for braces, as long as you keep them clean :)

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 12:14 pm
by kirjax
^ I like your attitude.

Yeah I agree. People who don't have the time to look at you with braces are being shallow. I worry to myself, being single, and not having people pay attention to me but I really don't let it get to me. I think about the outcome and think about how much confidence my smile will do for me. So if I have to wait 2 years to go out and find Mr. Right then so be it. Hopefully though someone will see me for me and not for what's on my teeth!

keep going w/ your treatment. You have already put in so much time, effort, and not to mention I am sure money....it will be fine!

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 1:54 pm
by dojo
DO NOT abort the treatment. It's the best thing you did in your life, don't lose this because of the fear people might not like you. If a woman doesn't like you for this, then I tell you .. she's not worth your time. Just be yourself, be confident and don't think you look bad. Think you are doing something to improve your health and appearance. Weird as it might seem.. from the moment I started my treatment I also started feeling better about myself, even if my teeth are far from being perfect. But I do smile a lot and even if I show braces, I just don't care. I am already more beautiful, even after few days from starting the treatment. Picture yourself at the end of the treatment (with perfect teeth) and you'll be OK :)

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 4:47 pm
by Clairey Fairey
Weird as it might seem.. from the moment I started my treatment I also started feeling better about myself, even if my teeth are far from being perfect. But I do smile a lot and even if I show braces, I just don't care. I am already more beautiful, even after few days from starting the treatment.
I felt...still feel like that too!!

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 6:46 pm
by aschelkin
Senior year of high school I wanted to get braces, and actually wore an expander, but my boyfriend discouraged me to get braces. 4 years later, my boyfriend was long forgotten but my teeth were still crooked!

Now that I am 22 and my current boyfriend supports my decision, I finally decided to get braces. Needless to say, I wish I didn't care about anyone else 4 years ago and put my needs and wants first.

If you are outgoing and attractive, braces will not make you any less attractive. Though some people may think you're "weird" for having braces at your age, they are probably the people you shouldn't have in your life anyway.

If you act confident in yourself and smile big regardless of your braces, women will pick up on it and be attracted to you! If you think of your braces as a temporary means, other people will not think anything of them. As a very self consious and picky girl, I've never thought less of anyone for having braces. In fact - my best friend's boyfriend had braces for 3 years at 27 and he was one of the most attractive people I have ever met.

You've already begun your treatment and if you stick with it, you will look back and think how quickly it went by and how glad you are you did it. If you abandon now - you will only be dissapointed in yourself. Even if your teeth look good now, you wouldnt believe how much better they will look if you stick with it!

I'd rather date a guy with braces than a guy with crooked teeth : )

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 7:40 pm
by meetli
i'm a junior in college and i've had braces for 13 months...to be honest i had the same reservations and fears that you do and still do sometimes feel insecure.. however i've continued to date, kiss, etc.. even after i got my braces on and they really don't get in the way of any of that and on top of that i still get compliments on the way i look, my kissing ability, and my personality which DEF has not changed and on the bright side in 4 to 8 more months my smile will be PERFECT too! =)

Re: Braced for 3 months, and NOW I'm single

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 7:21 am
by newmetal
Nah i see your point mate. Lots of people on here take the positive attitude that people don't judge you usally on braces and if they do they are'nt worth it. But in my experience girls cant stand blokes with braces. I was out the other night with my mates and i was introduced to a girl he knew, and the first thing she commented on and continued to comment on for the rest of the night was the braces, it was obviously an issue for her. So braces are not the best when it comes to meeting girls in my opinion.

But i do agree with the rest, in the fact that in aborting treatment you will find some girls are not happy with your present tooth arrangement, some girls will want perfect teeth. Whereas, some girls wont care about someones teeth and braces...like anything in life man, you cannot please everyone.I'd say stick with your braces, so what if your life isn't like hugh hefners for the next year.

Newmetal

Thanks for the support

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 8:18 am
by dmartell1856
Thank you all for convincing me that I need to stick with my treatment. To be honest, it doesn't matter to me that people who have a problem with braces are shallow. I've been in a monogamous relationship for 3 years and now I'm single. I need to get laid, whether they are shallow or not. :!: BUT, those girls, while possibly a fun few nights, are not worth abandoning my treatment that is going to make me more attractive (to shallow and "deep" girls alike). Also, in the past few days, I've realized that if I act confident....GIRLS REALLY DONT CARE. I met a girl yesterday and she told me she thought the braces were adorable. We exchanged #'s and I plan to ask her out this weekend. :D

PS- I watched a movie last night (Clerks II) and EVERYONE in the movie (even the dirty Jay and Silent Bob) had PERFECT TEETH. I want that. I fell in love with Rosario Dawson when she was dancing on the roof. Her smile is SO perfect and I bet she had braces. No way am I quitting now.

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 8:50 am
by newmetal
KK wrote:Wow Newmetal that's a confusing post you've just written!

Sorry you met a shallow person the other night. To not believe their's shallow people out there, would be naive. The question that needs to be answered, is do you want to go out with a person who behaves like that, having issues with something that's so temporary?

Great that in your second paragraph you've noted ...
some girls wont care about someones teeth and braces
Good luck to you and your mates with finding quality in future! :banana:
Yea i gotta admit it was the first vocal girl i have come across. She kept comming up saying can i see your teeth, can i touch the brace and making me feel a bit of a freak. She wasn't my type anyway, because her annoying personality ripped her of any looks she had. Made the night annoying though.

Newmetal

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 9:32 am
by Lisa65
Tell me where you went NM, so that I can avoid going there. :?

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 11:52 am
by marcusjb
Clairey Fairey wrote:
Weird as it might seem.. from the moment I started my treatment I also started feeling better about myself, even if my teeth are far from being perfect. But I do smile a lot and even if I show braces, I just don't care. I am already more beautiful, even after few days from starting the treatment.
I felt...still feel like that too!!
I've only had my braces on for about 10 days - but I have felt far more confident than ever before really. I was so worried I would be self conscious - but the exact opposite has happened. I feel very good about myself at the moment (despite the sore bits!) and do not hide my smile in any way.

Really pleased and surprised!

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:59 pm
by thenumber12
If it really did bother you too much, I was going to suggest Invisalign depending on the condition of your bite and all that BUT glad you're feeling better about having braces dmartell. If someone's really into you, she'll most likely look past the metal and if not there are plenty more fish in the sea. I say that it all depends on how you look at it and carry yourself. You seem to be doing a great job.