Don't feel comfortable talking to people with extraction gap

Message

#1 Post by **jackie100** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 9:37 am

I have FOUR extraction gaps (bicuspids) that were removed in around mid July, and my ortho says he won't start closing the gaps by February, that doesn't mean the are going to be moved then, but that's the date (approximately) that he will start closing them.

I feel really miserable with my gaps and I feel unattractive. I don't care if other people don't mind but I mind personally and it affects the way I feel about myself.

I wonder how other people dealt with extraction gaps of the bicuspids that could be visible when laughing? I know I can cover my mouth when laughing etc but that would make it even more noticeable. I find myself avoiding people, avoiding talking closely with people etc.

I'm afraid that people will notice it but not be aware of the fact that it's because of my braces but I also don't feel like bringing it up in conversation because that would be awkward and weird. People might accidentally think I have "bad teeth" or didn't have money to go to the dentist and lost my teeth or something. It's very embarrassing.

I know it's only temporary, but a few months time is still a long time. How do you guys deal with this?

#2 Post by **SDFD TSchott** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:00 am

At first I was just like you when I had my extractions... I know two of the four I had no one could see but the other two you could see when I smiled or laughed... I was in the same situation as you not wanting to talk to people close and so on.

Well after a while I finally gave in and said I don't care what others said about me it would all be done and overwith later and I would have my "Perfect teeth" I wanted.

I Say play it day by day and you will soon get over it.

~Tim~

#3 Post by **jackie100** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:57 am

SDFD TSchott wrote:At first I was just like you when I had my extractions... I know two of the four I had no one could see but the other two you could see when I smiled or laughed... I was in the same situation as you not wanting to talk to people close and so on.

Well after a while I finally gave in and said I don't care what others said about me it would all be done and overwith later and I would have my "Perfect teeth" I wanted.

I Say play it day by day and you will soon get over it.

~Tim~

I'm self-conscious, I'm not the type of person that gets over things like that until it's all finished... lol

#4 Post by **Miss Smiley** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 11:43 am

Oh I felt that same way about my 1st premolars bein gone. After a while, I just started to get over it. When they were closing gaps, other gaps were opening so I became a little more self-conscious about it. Now, it doesn't matter because they're almost closed!

#5 Post by **jackie100** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 11:56 am

Miss Smiley wrote:Oh I felt that same way about my 1st premolars bein gone. After a while, I just started to get over it. When they were closing gaps, other gaps were opening so I became a little more self-conscious about it. Now, it doesn't matter because they're almost closed!

Aren't the first premolars towards the back tho? I don't think gaps there would be visible? Not as bad as bicuspids, those are on the side...

#6 Post by **Lisa65** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 12:24 pm

bicuspids is the other name for premolars.

#7 Post by **Miss Smiley** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 12:45 pm

Thanks Lisa, you got here before I could come back.

#8 Post by **Megan89** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 8:24 pm

ugh, i felt the exact same way. I thought people would look down on me and think i had bad oral hygiene or something (I admit i stereotype missing teeth with improper hygiene). Once they were out, though, you really couldn't see them unless i was smiling really wide, or if i brought attention to them.

I don't think my ortho has done anything to directly close the gaps (ie. powerchains, elastics, etc) but they do start closing as the other teeth shift. one of my gaps you can barely see now.

#9 Post by **chillin-in-grilz** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 8:30 pm

I had 8 gaps!

#10 Post by **danish** » Thu Nov 22, 2007 10:54 pm

I'm where you are i.e. feeling extremely self-conscious around others due to among other things extraction gaps (4 premolars extracted in September). Last night I was out with some friends. In a bar an attractive woman started a conversation with me and I felt basicly like a monster. I know the remedy is just to let go and stop worrying what others think...but that is really not as easy as it sounds. Needles to say the conversation did not really go anywhere.

However, I believe (and hope) exposure to these social situations will make one "forget and stop worrying". There is no other way!

Danish

#11 Post by **jackie100** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 12:43 am

danish wrote:I'm where you are i.e. feeling extremely self-conscious around others due to among other things extraction gaps (4 premolars extracted in September). Last night I was out with some friends. In a bar an attractive woman started a conversation with me and I felt basicly like a monster. I know the remedy is just to let go and stop worrying what others think...but that is really not as easy as it sounds. Needles to say the conversation did not really go anywhere.
However, I believe (and hope) exposure to these social situations will make one "forget and stop worrying". There is no other way!

Danish

Or one could wait until everything is in place before interacting with members of the opposite sex or being put in these social situations etc...
I am seriously considering doing that. Well, I mean right now I'm not putting myself in situations where I have to talk to others at a close distance.

#12 Post by **jackie100** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 2:25 am

Meryaten wrote:
jackie100 wrote:Or one could wait until everything is in place before interacting with members of the opposite sex or being put in these social situations etc...
That's pretty preposterous really. It is the same as saying that anyone who is not perfect should forsake social situations and especially any thought of romance and a long-term relationship. What then of the disabled? Or someone who has a birth mark? Or who has lost an eye, ear, or limb in an accident? Or ... Having some temporary gaps between your teeth - and not even the centrals, at that - is really not much in the big scheme of things. People with far more to contend with manage to lead perfectly normal lives.

Yea but to be honest there were times when I DIDN'T have braces and I still wasn't social and date etc so it's not TOO bad. I know I'm ridiculous but I'm insecure and I already have a hard time talking to people in general even without the gaps and the gaps make it worse...

I know a lot of other people have it worse and I commend them for making do with what they got, but that doesn't change the fact that I only feel good about myself when I'm looking my best, it's a personal thing. It's just the way that I am. I need to look my best in other to feel comfortable with myself, otherwise I can't socialize etc. I know it's all in my head, but I don't feel good about the gaps at app.

To be honest, I changed my mind about the braces in general, I don't mind the braces so much anymore, only the gaps. The gaps are just worse, I could handle the braces if it weren't for the gaps. I changed my mind about what I said before on here about guys not wanting to date women with braces. As an experiment, I put an ad on a dating site mentioning I had braces and I still got over 100 responses, so the braces thing is no big deal now I realize. It depends on the guy. Some will mind, but I realize a lot won't. The gaps still bother me though. Even if it doesn't bother other people, it bothers me personally and makes me feel insecure with myself.

I just wonder if people in general are aware of the fact that if someone has big extraction gaps that it's due to the braces and part of the treatment? Before I had braces I wasn't even really conscious of this, if I saw someone with gaps I would assume it's due to hygiene problems etc.

I also wonder if anyone else has had people ask them about their gaps etc or not realize it was part of the treatment plan? etc

#13 Post by **lionfish** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 3:30 am

I grew up in a place where certain members of the population used to deliberately extract their two upper front teeth. This was for a specific purpose and we all knew what it was.

Perhaps you could put another ad on the dating site mentioning the extractions gaps. Seeing as you've had such positive feedback already, it is very likely that you will get the reassurance you need.

#14 Post by **jackie100** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 3:53 am

lionfish wrote:I grew up in a place where certain members of the population used to deliberately extract their two upper front teeth. This was for a specific purpose and we all knew what it was.

Perhaps you could put another ad on the dating site mentioning the extractions gaps. Seeing as you've had such positive feedback already, it is very likely that you will get the reassurance you need.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it, I personally don't feel comfortable with it. Well, other people's opinions do matter to an extent, but even if others didn't mind, I still don't feel comfortable with them. I don't feel at my best with gaps in my teeth.

I wish there was a way to speed it up... The ortho says they cant do it until Feb because he wants to straighten the top teeth first, I forgot to ask him if he can start closing the bottom gaps though because those are more noticeable. My next appointment isn't till Dec 6.

#15 Post by **jackie100** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 4:41 am

KK wrote:Jackie you continue to strike me as a person who enjoys having an excuse to be miserable. For you, your extraction gaps are a big thing ... so be it. Here's hoping you don't find something else to make you miserable when they're closed. Coz you're right ... they're only temporary ... a bit like many other physical things ... temporary.

I've had two extraction gaps for many years, plus an upper and lower gap on the left side between my upper cental and lateral incisor and lower lateral and canine. One extraction gap was due to an impacted canine, so it was quite obvious. Only recently did I realise this ... in fact it's only since my ortho has started closing the gap, and I checked out my gorgous wedding photos to see how it looked in those. Amazing ... I'd never noticed it in thoxe photos before!

Once my braces are off and I get veneers I don't think there's anything else that would make me "miserable", I mean there are always other things about my looks (non-teeth related) that I would want to improve and which I will continue to work on but I don't think any of it would make me "miserable", just strive to be the best I can be, that's all.

The extraction gaps make me feel miserable because I feel they are kind of traumatic and obvious. It's just very noticeable and I scrutinize myself and I know others do notice it too, because it's something that I would notice in another person, since I also like to scrutinize other people's looks. Not scrutinizing in a bad way or a judgmental way or anything, it's just that I pay attention to appearances a lot so I would just notice these things and therefore I'm sure there are others like me who would notice it too.