Anyone else been called selfish!!??

[Loztredders]

Apparently my sister believes I'm selfish for wanting to spend MY money which I work hard for on doing something to improve my self esteem and appearence ( getting braces ) anyone else received this attitude? I feel kind of hurt that she'd say something like that. All I said was that I wouuldnt be able to buy expensive gifts for people at Xmas this year so have told everybody to please not buy me expensie things either, which I thought was rather reasonable!
Just needed to rant about her blatant total disregard for my feelings. [/code]

[seriousthinker]

Please don't believe that you are being selfish. You are right, it is your money and your happiness. If somebody is upset because you're treating yourself and your esteem over spending lots at christmas time then it is quite sad.

To be honest, even though I have a consultation coming up and my family knew I was looking into it I haven't actually said that the ball is rolling yet so I can't say for sure but I hope that they are very supportive. I do have a bit of doubt with the cost of this and sometimes think of what else it could be used towards (I'm sure everyone has other things a few thousand can be spent on) but then it makes me think that it must mean a LOT to me or I wouldn't be considering it at all.

Keep smiling and positive. Who cares if there are small/no christmas gifts. That isn't the true meanig of Christmas anyway

ST

[bottlecap1990]

Apparently my sister believes I'm selfish for wanting to spend MY money which I work hard for on doing something to improve my self esteem and appearence ( getting braces ) anyone else received this attitude? I feel kind of hurt that she'd say something like that. All I said was that I wouuldnt be able to buy expensive gifts for people at Xmas this year so have told everybody to please not buy me expensie things either, which I thought was rather reasonable!
Just needed to rant about her blatant total disregard for my feelings. [/code]

LOL Your sister is just jealous.

[blackapple]

I totally understand which is the reason why I never bothered to tell my mother I got braces. I only told one family member and she said the usual I didn't know you needed braces which is the stupidest thing to tell someone in my opinion. Orthodontists just don't go around putting braces on folks for no reason of course they were needed. Both of them live out of state so there is really no need to divulge anything beyond what they know or don't know. I remember telling my mother years ago that I would like braces and she looked right at me and told there is nothing wrong with your teeth you need to worry about losing some weight. I look at it this way you are grown and I am grown. The only people who need to worry about what I spend my money on is you and I. The rest can keep their comments to themselves.

[Laney'sBraces]

Black Apple, that is so funny,not telling family members you don't have to see is a bit genius.I almost wish I had that option. I see my mother frequently, though it makes me laugh to think I didn't tell her I was getting them, and that it took an hour that morning she first saw me with them to say,Did you get get braces!?!?!?!?! Followed by the requisite,you didn't tellmeyou were getting braces! No Mom,Ididn't. I'm an adult and needed to make the decision without the helpofmy family's crazy...

[BraceFace2o1o]

No one has called me selfish, whether they have thought it is another thing though!

My mum has known since day one, she's a pretty cool mum and is really supportive in everything I go through. I can sometimes see her look a little 'down' when I mention how much it's going to cost me... the reason I think she looks 'down' is because she hasn't got £2000-£3000 to spend on herself, but the thing is, neither do I! that's the reason I am paying monthly. I still end up feeling guilty though

I've told my brother and my dad and their response is "how much is that gonna cost?" and when I answer, they reply with "WHAT?!" but they're just shocked because they haven't a clue what braces cost... they aren't doing it in a bad way. I just say "it's something I want, so I will find the money for it" and that's the end of it normally.

I think it's a little selfish of your sister to be saying you're selfish. It's your money, no one elses, you do whatever you want with it. As long as it isn't going to harm anyone else (oh, actually, apart from buying family members expensive gifts at Christmas! hehe) then go for it. I'm going have to do cut backs too when this goes ahead, not just at Christmas... but probably throughout my treatment! I just don't earn enough to have money spare at the end of the week, and the money that is 'spare' right now wont be when I pay my monthly repayments for a brace.

I've never bought expensive gifts for family members (I only buy for my mum, dad, brother and now nephew) because I've never been able to afford to. I remember one year I had 0 money and felt bad because I literally couldn't buy anyone anything, I told them the deal and they were totally cool with it (as they should be in my opinion, as I'd be exactly the same)... they would have still been fine with it even if it was because I spent all my money on myself.

My family have all been the type not to expect gifts at all, if you get something it's a bonus and very appreciated. I do not expect my mum, dad or brother to buy me expensive gifts now that I am 24 years old... I got expensive gifts at Christmas as a child. I don't believe in buying family members expensive gifts when they are old enough to buy their own! lol. A pair of socks is nice enough...

People need to remember, it's the thought that counts

[Loztredders]

Yea, I really need to stop caring less about what other people think, and just gotta remember that I DO deserve this because it's my money that I work for.
I can't really afford this either, however I just keep thing that, I'd rather be skint for a year and have to worry about money til I've paid off my braces than have to worry and be concious of my teeth for the rest of my life.

[fluffybottom]

Your sister is the selfish one since she obviously thinks she is ENTITLED to expensive Christmas gifts. I say give her coal this year!

[BraceFace2o1o]

I just keep thing that, I'd rather be skint for a year and have to worry about money til I've paid off my braces than have to worry and be concious of my teeth for the rest of my life.

Well said Loztredders! We may be skint until we've finished the payments, but at least it isn't going to be forever.

[SonyaM]

Yes. I won't name names in case they find the forum, but yes. Selfish, and vain. BUT in my case it's neither. I was told get braces or lose teeth. I chose to get braces to avoid being toothless in a few years. If that's selfish/vain then I'll just take the label and go with it. No worries. In the end, only you have to be happy with your mouth.

[hal2me]

Has your sister been talking to my MIL?

In all seriousness, wanting to do something for yourself is not selfish. She sounds very jealous that you are able to do something that makes you very happy. My MIL asked me how I could spend my husband's hard earned money. Hello! It's not the 1950's anymore! Women work now!

Do not feel bad for doing what you want to do. Life is way too short to try and please everyone.

[ashesgap]

This topic has come up before. I'm pretty sure we all agreed that if we're not ragging on people about the obnoxious amount they paid for their cars, they can keep their traps shut about the small price we pay for the health of our mouths. Besides a lot of us on this forum put off braces for years because of the price.
Your sister sounds like a bit of a snot, what kind of gift was she expecting from you? My sisters both have kids, so i'm lucky if they make it to the store to buy me a card...and i'm fine with that.
Don't feel bad about spending money on yourself.

[Wongohk]

People said I waste money...
Since I live in Hong Kong, they said why not get it done in China... why would I do it when I am happy with my orth and it is close to my work. O well, everyone can have their own opinion.

[drrick]

For the life of me when I read the thread title I thought it said 'has anyone been called shellfish?' I thought to myself why would anybody call somebody else shellfish? LOL

ALways remember it isnt about what other people think about you, it is about what you think about yourself. I have read many times on this board (and heard from my pts) other people telling the pt -- why did you get braces your teeth arent that bad. It isnt their choice -- It is yours.

I believe some of this stems from jealousy (they actually want it), some from insecurity (if your spouse looks better they will leave you), or cheapness (why spend money on that)

As a non-tooth example when I was into bodybuilding many people couldnt understand why I wanted to add another 20 lbs of muscle since I was already big. It wasnt about what they thought -- it was about what I thought --and I wanted to be bigger.

So I wouldnt worry about comments like that just remember it is your choice to do what you want.

[hal2me]

For the life of me when I read the thread title I thought it said 'has anyone been called shellfish?' I thought to myself why would anybody call somebody else shellfish? LOL

drrick, this made me laugh hysterically while sitting at my desk! My office mate must think I'm nuts!