I just knew I would come home crying:(

[lilone]

I'm so upset. I can't seem to stop feeling really emotional after that consultation. I had a sense of foreboding about it because I had been so happy about having a lingual option available that I was feeling more positive about getting braces then I ever have been. I figured that because I was feeling so happy about it, it would be very easy to knock me down if something wasn't able to go according to my plan.

I have been told once before that I should consider jaw surgery for my recessed lower jaw if I want optimal results. I don't want it. I've given it thought and I've decided it isn't something I am willing to go through. I knew that I would be given this as a suggestion today so I was prepared for it mentally and ready to say thanks but no thanks. I'm barely ok with braces let alone jaw surgery and I'm happy with how I look and I would look like a whole different person without my jaw that I'm actually a little fond of. So when he and his assistant were strongly suggesting surgery, it only upset me a little. I knew it was their job and I was ready for it. I wasn't really ready to be told that he couldn't fix my bite without it, though, because my bite was fine after braces as a child but maybe he sees things that I don't and that's ok. I'd be happy to have the same smile I had 15 years ago before "relapse". Here's where I start crying. I can't have the smile I had before relapse. Even though all the same teeth fit in my mouth just fine back then, they apparently won't now. I had two upper premolars extracted for ortho the first time around but no lowers. I figured I'd probably have to have the lowers extracted this time and I was ok with that. But he told me that I would also have to have the upper seconds out so that I would have no pre-molar left up there. That doesn't sit well with me. That would be a total of ten teeth out for my ortho treatment in total (6 premolars and 4 wisdoms). I don't want to have just have my social 6 and molars. I'm not ok with that. I need some teeth! An ortho that I saw in the past said he wanted to take two lowers and would do IPR for the top because he didn't want to take any more teeth from me since I already had so few to begin with. I couldn't go to him in the end because I was moving from the province in a year and 3 months and it wasn't enough time to complete treatment. I was just expecting the same today from this guy. It upsets me soooo much that I could lose two more. Once they are gone, they're gone. You know? If the molar behind it that has three fillings in it causes me problems one day and needs to be pulled then I'm up the creek.
He can't really say for sure what options I have until I go back for moulds and xrays next month but I could tell that he was quite certain in his opinions (though really, really nice about it) so I pretty much know that I will pay $350 dollars to hear exactly what I heard today. He even said to talk to his assistant about surgery because she has made a number of patients that were wary of surgery more comfortable with the idea. This tells me that he thinks that I might change my mind about surgery if I think on it longer. And what that tells me is that someone who doesn't think a major surgery is an overly big deal will not understand my not wanting to part with my last premolars. I just look inflexible.
This consult cost 90 dollars and more consults would be the same. They aren't free around here like in other places. I'd go to others (and still may) except that it would mean saying goodbye to my lingual braces since he is the only one in the area that does them apart from a newly trained ortho graduate who is just opening a practice. I'm not sure about being the first guinea pig.
I feel crushed. I know I should try not to think about it until the next appointment (actually, the one after so that he's had time to look at them) but I just know that all the mental work I did getting myself open to the concept of braces has just gone down the drain. So now I feel like I have to live with my smile that I'm not happy with. I don't like my options. They were such nice people too. They can't change reality and make my mouth bigger...it's not their fault. But I went in feeling excited to get on the road and I've come home crushed and crying.

[peaches]

Sorry to hear that you got such bad news! I also have "situation" where I'd need surgery for best result, but am unwilling to go that route. I have a friend who had jaw surgery so I know that it is no joke! She is very happy that she did it, but everyone is different as to what they are willing to go through.

I'd definitely go for another consult, and perhaps ask your dentist if he/she knows of an ortho who is more positive about treating patients non-surgically/non-extraction. There may be something that can be done, I got different treatment plans from the two consults I went to. Attitude was a huge factor too, the first said that I should decide if it was worth my time/money for the amount of improvement I would get, and the second told me that I was going to wonder why I waited so long to get braces :) I understand that its important for the patient to have realistic expectations, but its possible to do so with a positive attitude. I'm sure you can guess which one ortho I went with.

Anyway, I don't have any orthodontic expertise, but I had to respond 'cause I cried at my first ortho consult too (for different reasons), and was quite embarrassed! Try to keep perspective, your teeth do not define you.

Also, ceramics don't look bad in my opinion. There are also clear synthetic sapphire braces that you might want to look into. Hope that you are feeling better!

[lilone]

Thank you so much for responding, Peaches. You have no idea how much it helps. I'm afraid I've worked myself up into a dither and have been crying on and off for hours now. Admittedly, hormones aren't helping me out here, but I have been sitting on my couch stewing and getting more and more unhappy with my face. I have my birthday next week and that isn't helping either. When I left for the consult today I considered myself to be a relatively attractive person. After hearing all this today and after taking some pictures of my profile now all I can see when I look at myself is how I have no chin. Suddenly I feel ugly. I wasn't expecting that to come from going to a consult! I need to be clear that the ortho was very kind, professional and understanding and in no way said anything to make me feel bad but it has happened anyway. Wish I could get out of this funk...

[sadpanda]

Hi -

I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel when you say extracting more teeth makes you very upset. I only had to have one tooth extracted (wisdoms later). It had nothing to do with orthos at the time and is nothing like your situation, but I had no money to get a root canal and crown, so the only option was extracting it. I got so upset and cried a lot because I didn't want to lose what seemed like an important tooth. I called the dentist's office and agreed to get it extracted, but I couldn't even talk to them without choking up and crying like a baby. I was really upset because a lot of it had to do with money and I thought that it wasn't fair that I had to lose a tooth because I was poor and had no insurance. The only thing that was good about it is that the extreme pain I had been feeling was instantly gone when the tooth was pulled. However, it created a huge gap that can't be closed and it's difficult to eat on my right side because of the missing molar. Ok, so I guess that won't make you feel better because the situation was so different, but I wish you luck with everything and I think it's ok to not want the surgery, as it seems like a huge deal and really difficult for weeks or months afterward.

[JennyLaughs]

I'm so sorry to hear about your troubling consult and I know exactly how you feel about losing any teeth. My ortho was on the fence about whether or not to go the extraction route with me, and I let him know that I'd do just about whatever it took to keep ALL of my teeth. He decided to try it with just braces for now, and if we can't fit everything together nicely that way, we're going to try an expander. I really hope it doesn't come to that, but like I said, I'd try just about anything to not have to lose any teeth. Maybe you could call the ortho you just consulted with and ask them about trying an expander. As far as the surgery goes, I agree with you there also. Jaw surgery just sounds so incredibly scary and I'd rather just keep my recessed chin... I actually kinda like mine... I just wouldn't be me without my quirky imperfections I hope this cheers you a bit!

[peaches]

Keep in mind that people see you from the front most of the time, not the profile. And, if you thought yourself to be an attractive person before, I'm sure that you still are, you are just more aware of a flaw. I don't think I'm ugly either, I just have ugly teeth. We all have flaws. Personally I wouldn't have jaw surgery unless it was a medical issue...as in all my teeth are going to definitely fall out within the next 10 years. Even then, dental implants sound kind of good ;) Having broken my jaw 5 months ago and going through all that entails I have a very negative opinion of anything that prevents me from being able to open my mouth. If there is a hell, after I die I'll be hanging out there with my mouth permanently wired shut.

Hope that you're treating yourself to a nice bubble bath, bowl of ice cream, trash t.v., or whatever it is you like to do when you're feeling down.

[pasr16]

Hello, i have a similar story and i thought id share it with you. I also needed jaw surgery because of the way my lower jaw was situated, the first orthodonitist told me that as a kid my upper and lower jaw did not grow at the same time and that i if i shouldve used head gear i would not have this problem know, she made me feel so self-concious about my overbite and i kept on looking at my profile and was getting depressed. however i decided to stick with the no surgery route and she ended up using class ii elastics to correct my bite as much as possible. 1 1/2 years into treatment i can tell you that i do not regret not having surery one bit. my bite is really good and you can't really tell i have an overbite. my advice to you is: don't worry too much because everything has a solution and you just need to think everything will work out at the end. good luck and keep your head up!

[SilverGirl]

That is so disappointing - I hope they will have figured something better out by your next appointment. I also have a misaligned lower jaw, and I also did not want to have jaw surgery. I know a lot of people have it with great results, but it was just not something I wanted to go through electively. My ortho told me my bite will be improved about halfway with braces, which is great with me - he's pushing my lower teeth forward and did a little IPR on top and is pulling top teeth back. Hopefully they can come up with something like this for you, too. Good luck!

[sammywantstraightteeth]

My dentist also told me that the only way to fully fix my overjet and bite problems was with surgery - which I declined. My problems with my jaw just aren't bad enough to justify breaking it deliberately. He said he could improve my bite (in a similar way to Silvergirl) by IPR (2.5mm worth - also to fix some overcrowding) on the top teeth and pulling them in, and pushing the lowers (which are also overcrowded) out a bit.

You need to stop and think about your reasons for doing this. How much of your needs are functional vs cosmetic. Is some improvement enough for you, or will you only be happy with 'perfect' teeth. Give yourself time to get used to the idea of treatment and you'll see what parts of it you settle in your mind, and which are a no-go. Did your ortho even mention the possibility of IPR instead of extractions?

Ceramics look pretty cool. If I hadn't been an invisalign candidate, I would have gone with ceramics.

Remember that you are exactly the same person as you were before you entered the consult. I am sure your jaw looks fine, we are always our own harshist critics when it comes to our looks.

[ashesgap]

I think they kind of have to push the surgery route on you, just to cover their butts when you decline. That way at the end of treatment you don't/can't say "hey this isn't good enough" I think you should stick with your original plan, no surgery if thats what you really want. I'm sorry about the linguals though, i know thats gotta be hard for you. But if this is something you really want, go for ceramics or whatever clear option they offer. I hope you're feeling better today...obviously if you thought you were attractive before the consult you still are. These orthos do magic, but they can't make you ugly in an hour long consult. Go out and have fun for your birthday, forget about teeth and chins and revisit braces in a couple weeks. You might find you feel a lot better after not thinking about it.
I had my heart set on the ortho being able to pull all my teeth together, and not having to get implants for my missing laterals. When the ortho here in town said, "no, you can't do that at your age" I left his office and told my husband i was done. It took a whole year before I finally went back, because I really hated my gaps. And oddly now i'm perfectly ok with getting implants. I'm actually looking forward to getting pointy canines...since my canines are now my new laterals. You never know how you'll feel about something tomorrow.

[UGHBRACES]

Go out and get some more consultations. I know you mentioned you have to pay for them, but really that cost is only a drop in the bucket compared to what full treatment is going to cost. And who knows, maybe the cost of treatment for another ortho whose treatment plan you like better could be a little cheaper which would offset any consultation fees.

[lilone]

I cannot thank everyone enough for all the reply's. I felt so horribly low and it really helped to get some sympathy and perspective from others who are going through it. My favourite was "Ortho's can work miracles but they can't make you ugly in an hour"...so perfect! After my refreshing 3 hours of sleep (ok, I definitely stayed up waaayyy to late researching pendulum appliances and the like) I feel much better about things. This is just one consult. It is not the be all, end all. And I certainly can't be so fragile as to allow something like a chin or crooked teeth rob me of self esteem...I'm far too old for that! It's just so easy though when someone or something hits on an issue you have spent so many years feeling sensitive about.

Anyway, I got home tonight after work and called for two more consultations. One doesn't do lingual but the consult is free and I will receive a write up in the mail detailing proposed treatment. I like that professionalism. Over the phone they said not to discount Invisalign, that I would be surprised at the cases it can handle but I know myself that I am far too complex a case for that. It does give me hope though that it may be possible to start with ceramic and switch to invisalign once things have straightened up a bit... Don't know if they'd do that but it's worth a shot.

I also put in a call to another place and I'm waiting for them to call back. It is the new ortho I mentioned who does incognito and has just set up a new practice. As much as I am hesitant over being a guinea pig I also think that a new ortho will be very up to date and willing to try options that aren't necessarily the simplest or cheapest route.

Has anyone else here started with a new ortho or have an opinion on the risks? I'm on the fence about that but I looked her up on RateMD and she has rave reviews as a general practioner. I also found out that she was in dental school in 1999 (she wrote an article at the time) so she is not new to dentistry...just ortho. It is a 3 year course though so she is an actual orthodontist now and can call herself a specialist. I guess that is all that really matters.

Anyway, thanks again. I really appreciate all the responses.

[I love my teeth]

lilone-

Not sure how old you are--but when I was 22-23 years old, I had a dentist tell me to consider braces and lower jaw surgery--same story as many here---my jaws didn't grow properly and my lower was smaller than my upper. My teeth were realitively straight and I was getting married--I said thanks, but no thanks to all of it. A few years later I switched dentists--same story--had 2 ortho consults--at that time (early 1990's) I was told 5K for the braces + lower jaw surgery (back then-wired shut 6weeks)--We were building our first home, having kids, I was moving up in my career. Thanks, but no thanks again!! I said to my husband "why would I go through all this, I have no problem with the way I look, I have no pain or bite issues?" He agreed. I have always been self conscious of my teeth, but confident enough not to care!

Fast forward to 2008. We moved and Changed dentists again--got the same story, I said no thanks, again...he said "has it gotten worse over the last 15years? I am afraid it may keep getting worse until you loose your teeth prematurely?" I freaked out! Went for ortho consults, only to be told Surgery. I said not interested, any other options. He said if you don't do the surgery, after we straighten your teeth, they will go back to where they were--you won't be happy with the result. So now here I am 2011-having the lower jaw surgery I didn't want in 1993!! My teeth were way more flared out (12mm overjet compared to about 8mm in 1993ish) and now I am almost 40, not 23. I regret not doing this back then--however, looking back on it, I wasn't financially or mentally ready for such a thing.

I am having the surgery on Monday Jan 17th, although I don't really want to do it, I know I have to do it to preserve my teeth for long term survival. I feel I was older and wiser to make a better decision for myself now than I was than.

I hope you make the right decision for you--you don't want to relapse and go through all this again later in life or spend $$ then be unhappy with the results. Does anyone really want jaw surgery, I doubt it.

I wish you the best of luck with your decision, I know personally it is a hard one.

christine

[lilone]

Hi everyone. I just thought I'd follow up because I have a second consult tomorrow and would love some advice/support if anyone has any to give. I feel a little nervous about it because it was just so emotionally difficult last time. I ended up going out and enjoying my birthday and started to feel a lot better about things after being treated like a queen by a couple of young lads (it never hurts, does it?!) and now I'm afraid of feeling like that again tomorrow. I really can't afford an emotional breakdown at the ortho's office or after it. My day is so busy and I have someplace to be right after. I just don't want to feel like that ever again, honestly.
Do consults get easier once you have an idea of what they are going to say? I figure that it was the surprise about the push for surgery and the surprise about having to have more teeth out (when they all fit in my mouth perfectly before relapse) that got to me. Maybe knowing I may not like what I hear will make this one easier. But I will be heart broken if I'm told again that the last premolars must come out. I don't mind losing the bottoms because I still have all 4 at this point but my upper second bicuspids are already gone. I DON'T want to lose the firsts. I just really really don't. Please wish me luck. I'll let you know how things go when I get back tomorrow.

[hayfields]

Hope everything went well with your consults! I say keep looking if necessary, gathering enough opinions until you are able to see what the consensus is. I also don't think its over the top to go to the ortho with a list of what YOU want and are willing to do. Ask them if they can accomodate you and still come up with a good solution. Like a previous poster I was told 15 years ago that I needed jaw surgery,my frenum cut, remove a couple of teeth, 2-3 years in upper and lowers, and possibly headgear. All this for only 5-6K. I wasn't about to do it, I couldn't afford it, and yes my teeth looked like he** but I could eat, the people in my life that matter still loved me so I skipped it. I am now with an ortho who listened to what my limits were, what I really want out of this, and provided a couple of different options. We won't be breaking my jaw,or doing my lowers. He will fix my horrible jet and overbite, rotate one of the teeth down and give me a good looking smile. It won't be a perfect bite, he was clear on that, but at 42, I'm ok with finally just looking better. Think about what is important to you, and hang tough! And you know, its ok to cry when you are disappointed. Don't feel bad about that. Thats what crying is for.