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Very confused and upset, feel let down...

Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:05 am
by confuzzledeedee
Hello, I've been lurking on the forum for a while, reading threads and trying to figure out what to do!

Well, I'm 22 years old, from the UK, and I've had a brace on my top teeth since I was 19, to correct an overbite and overjet. Bear with me, this post will probably not give you much information, because I'm pretty lost myself. Well my top teeth stick out and overlap my bottom teeth, and I look as though I have very large teeth. I actually used to think they needed filing down or something! But now I realise they are perflectly sized, just sitting in completely the wrong place. The teeth on my left side used to stick out a little bit further than my right side, which my brace has now fixed. They appear straight, but they still stick out and overlap, and this makes me extremely self-conscious, and quite low in self esteem. People have been cruel about my teeth =[ saying I look like a donkey. My friends used to make subtle jokes about them and then there would be an awkward silence, as though they were silently laughing together at my expense! I refuse to smile in photos because all I see when I look at them is my huge (looking) teeth. I have called myself a donkey many times, even described myself as Shrek's sidekick when I was out with my boyfriend (now ex) because he was quite big and I looked rather horsey next to him. I'm very ashamed of how I feel about my teeth... I know I should have more confidence, they are, after all, only teeth. But I can't seem to get past them. I've seen other people with overjets and they look pretty, but my overjet seems to ruin me. Well, I hoped the brace would push my teeth back to appear 'normal', but after two and-a-half years of wearing my brace and two extractions (one on each side), my ortho told me there was no more room, and my overjet could not be fixed. I cried when I got home upon hearing this news (I know, ridiculous but true).

Well, here's where I get completely unhelpful... I apologize! My ortho is very quiet, and not very descriptive. I feel like asking him questions is bothering him and he doesn't like to go into detail much. I don't even know how many mm's my overjet is, I don't believe he ever told me. I've been reading about corrective jaw surgery, and I suspect this may be what I really need. If so, why did he never say anything? I don't have any problems eating, I do have problems breathing sometimes but that may be caused by anxiety (I have Generalized Anxiety), so my trouble is really aesthetic. I think I have a weak chin, but I'm not sure. My upper lip potrudes. I think I look a bit strange from the side. But what bothers me most is my smile. I'd absolutely love to smile and have teeth that look, well, less obvious. And less... big!

I would post pictures but I only just joined. I have no idea if my overjet is severe enough for surgery, and if it was, could I handle it? =[ My ortho is going to take my brace off very soon after pushing a back tooth in (I'm completely not bothered about that but if it he thinks it's necessary, OK, this gives me more time to think and possibly say something...). I admit I'm not very assertive, and he is very withdrawn. I'm seeing him in two days, and I know I need to say something about how unhappy I am with my overjet, but I get the feeling he has no other ideas to fix it. When I look in the mirror and try to see my profile, it looks as though my upper jaw slants upward (if that makes sense!), which I guess means I needed surgery. But I'm not sure, and getting quite frustrated!

No idea what I wanted from posting here, but I felt I ought to. I feel very alone, and it's nice to come here and see that I am not.

Re: Very confused and upset, feel let down...

Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:05 pm
by zdenka
I would get a second opinion somewhere else. Definitely post pics when they let you.

Re: Very confused and upset, feel let down...

Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:50 am
by klobird
I had a 10mm overjet--it took about 4 months to get it to 4mm--really fast. It's not going so fast for the remaining 4mm, so I have an appliance to help with that and I am having a couple of teeth pulled tomorrow. I trust my ortho. He still says I will most likely be out of braces in the estimated 24 months.

I would go for a 2nd opinion. You may need surgery. But you need to know--3yrs with not much improvement is questionable.

Good luck!

Re: Very confused and upset, feel let down...

Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:26 am
by spudly
I felt sad reading your post
I agree you should get a second opinion

I am getting my 9 mm over get done now as I got older my teeth moved more, but what I wanted to share with you is for years and years I would see dentists and once an ortho in London at a top hospital who said the could do nothin

I am now with a fantastic ortho who so honest and confident that without surgery I will get my overset down to 4mm and widen my smile so my bite is better

Take controls, get a secon opinion

Good luck don't give up :rose:

Re: Very confused and upset, feel let down...

Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 11:35 am
by TMJJill
What type of orthodontist are you seeing? If you aren't seeing a Functional Orthodontist, you might try seeking one out for a second opinion. Functional orthodontists look at the function of your bite as part of your treatment. Mine also treats orofacial pain, TMJ and does sleep dentistry. The sleep dentistry helps with the breathing issues.

Re: Very confused and upset, feel let down...

Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 3:36 pm
by Grace123
You are right, now that you have posted you are very much not alone! You have been through so much and I am sending you moral support.

Re: Very confused and upset, feel let down...

Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 6:34 am
by margarets
I think you should have a serious discussion with your ortho about this. Get a good, thorough explanation as to why you can't get a better result. Heck, make your ortho write it down for you (if he/she balks at this, there's a problem).

Then get second and third opinions, even if you have to pay for the consult. You've put in too much time and effort not to get a fantastic result that makes you happy without at least being 100% aware of the reason.

There are some mind-boggling before-and-after braces pics out there. It's amazing what orthos can do. So I would think you have some options to explore before settling for a result you don't like.

Also, I would ditch any "friends" who tease you about your teeth.

Re: Very confused and upset, feel let down...

Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 10:17 am
by confuzzledeedee
Thank you all for the replies! I saw my ortho today, he said there was no way my overjet can go back further, I told him I was unhappy with how prominent they are, and he told me they are fine, and sitting in a good place. He said they are really improved, and I asked him how many mm's it was at the start. He said it was 9mm, and is now around 3mm - 2mm-5mm being about right. They stressed that they are so much better... maybe it is just me, maybe I'm exaggerating? I have had quite poor body image since I was 14.

I have no idea if he is traditional or functional... *embarrassed* I'd never even heard of these before!... I guess I went in naive -_- I should have done some reading? I assumed all orthodontists work the same/similar way which I see now after doing some research (finally!) that is not the case. I will consider getting a second opinion but I live at home with my parents and they don't think there's anything wrong with my teeth anymore, and they would strongly discourage me from paying for a consultation.

Hopefully I will post some photos soon. Thanks guys. =]

P.S I did indeed ditch those friends! We grew apart and I realised they were no longer good for me. My new friends are much more supportive!

Re: Very confused and upset, feel let down...

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 5:03 pm
by BraceFace2o1o
Hi confuzzledeedee, sorry to hear you are unhappy with your progress in braces :( Did you decide to get a second opinion? If you are paying then I don't see an issue with it if it's going to put your mind at rest.

Re: Very confused and upset, feel let down...

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 7:03 pm
by Glandyover
My first ortho was very quiet and withdrawn and I frankly didn't enjoy going to appointments at all. For the second time around being personable is something I'm internally grading them on. It's funny how many skills a good orthodontist needs considering they have to know how to straighten teeth, run an office, do marketing, be personable and even know how to optimize a website and have a social presence on Facebook. There should be courses in dental school on looking patients in the eyes and projecting your voice when you speak or something.

Re: Very confused and upset, feel let down...

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 7:17 pm
by Kipepeo
Hey Fuzz, I'm sorry to hear you are unhappy. Lots of good support and replies already.

I wanted to suggest you ask for the office manager, and discuss your concerns with her/him. They are likely to be loads less withdrawn than your ortho. Just tell them your concerns without being accusatory. I'm sure that would be a step in the right direction.

Re: Very confused and upset, feel let down...

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 8:06 pm
by Teacher03
I don't have any advice, I'm brand new here also and don't even get my braces until Tuesday. I just wanted
to say that I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time. I would definitely get a second opinion if you are not happy, worst that could happen is they tell you the same thing. It breaks my heart to hear that your friends made fun of you, sometimes it's our friends who can hurt us the most with unthoughtful comments. I also know from experience that sometime when we have image issues what we see may not be what the world sees, but you won't know unless you check into it.

Praying for the best,

Re: Very confused and upset, feel let down...

Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 10:09 am
by illay
Glandyover wrote:My first ortho was very quiet and withdrawn and I frankly didn't enjoy going to appointments at all. For the second time around being personable is something I'm internally grading them on. It's funny how many skills a good orthodontist needs considering they have to know how to straighten teeth, run an office, do marketing, be personable and even know how to optimize a website and have a social presence on Facebook. There should be courses in dental school on looking patients in the eyes and projecting your voice when you speak or something.
i do think there should be ETHIC & COMMUNICATION TO PATIENT lesson in their college. 6 full credits. If it fails, can not be an orthodontist.

@confuzzledeedee..It was not ridiculous when you were crying after hearing what he said. Teeth really brings so much emotional pain.