The Biggest Mistake of My Life!
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The Biggest Mistake of My Life!
I'm 51-years-old and have had my braces for fifteen months. It seems like an eternity. My self-esteem is at an all time low, and my teeth look worse now than before getting braces. Since I'm not psychologically in a place to handle this, my doctor is working fast to get my teeth back into a decent enough alignment to take my braces off, but it seems like everytime he corrects something HE did to my smile, he creates a new problem. I'm ready to shoot myself. Any words of support? And please don't say, "Be patient!"
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jenns91civic
- Posts: 420
- Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2005 7:50 pm
I went through several bad stages with my braces, as well. I thought my extraction gaps would never close and sometimes worried that I'd made a mistake. Sometimes the doc would tip a certain tooth this way and then it would create a problem for the tooth next to it, and so on. It seemed endless.
What problems led to the braces? Have those improved?
Have you asked your doc how your overall treatment is going and when he thinks you might be done? There are always lots of bumps along this road. It's best to try and focus on the end result. Regarding "first impressions," it is not as negative as you may think. Most ArchWired readers say that others generally have positive reactions -- because it shows that you are "brave" and taking care of yourself. Also, have you thought of this: you're a children's author and you have braces -- just like many of your readers. Imagine how good that would make a child feel about you -- that this adult lady can relate to them on yet another level?
Anyway, regarding your self-esteem, just remember that you are NOT alone. Lots of adults get braces. At least you're fixing your natural teeth, and when you're done, they will look nice for the rest of your life.
So try to put it into perspective. Your teeth will be finished one of these months and all this inconvenience will be a thing of the past.
The braces are a much bigger deal for you than for other people. They notice them for a minute and then move on. I'm sure they are much more focused on your personality than the metal in your mouth.
Here's a poll we took a while back which may convince you (January's Poll):
http://www.archwired.com/poll_results04.htm
What problems led to the braces? Have those improved?
Have you asked your doc how your overall treatment is going and when he thinks you might be done? There are always lots of bumps along this road. It's best to try and focus on the end result. Regarding "first impressions," it is not as negative as you may think. Most ArchWired readers say that others generally have positive reactions -- because it shows that you are "brave" and taking care of yourself. Also, have you thought of this: you're a children's author and you have braces -- just like many of your readers. Imagine how good that would make a child feel about you -- that this adult lady can relate to them on yet another level?
Anyway, regarding your self-esteem, just remember that you are NOT alone. Lots of adults get braces. At least you're fixing your natural teeth, and when you're done, they will look nice for the rest of your life.
So try to put it into perspective. Your teeth will be finished one of these months and all this inconvenience will be a thing of the past.
The braces are a much bigger deal for you than for other people. They notice them for a minute and then move on. I'm sure they are much more focused on your personality than the metal in your mouth.
Here's a poll we took a while back which may convince you (January's Poll):
http://www.archwired.com/poll_results04.htm
I'm the owner/admin of this site. Had ceramic uppers, metal lowers ~3 years in my early 40's. Now in Hawley retainers at night!
Just wanted to say sorry about your rough time, Dotti. Sounds not so fun for you, but I hope things perk up soon for you.
Full upper and lower metal braces put on May 12, 2005.
Braces free as of April 18, 2006!
Temporarily rebraced Nov. 21, 2006. ( I think I've moved past temporary. )
Brace free again - July 26, 2007.
Braces free as of April 18, 2006!
Temporarily rebraced Nov. 21, 2006. ( I think I've moved past temporary. )
Brace free again - July 26, 2007.
>Also, have you thought of this: you're a children's author and you have braces -- just like many of your readers. Imagine how good that would make a child feel about you -- that this adult lady can relate to them on yet another level?
Since I do LOTS of school presentations to kids, I really thought that would be a plus. Turns out that the majority of the elementary kids I present to don't have braces (it's more of a middle school thing), and they do seem unimpressed.
I wish I'd gone to an ortho who specializes in adult braces. My doctor is really sweet, but he even patronizes me by talking to me the way he talks to the kids in his office.
Anyway, I mainly wanted to correct a crossbite which he did. I won't have straight teeth because now he's seeing me twice a month to get them straightened up enough to get the braces off. If you look at my pictures on my website, particularly the bio pic, taken a year and a half ago, you'll see that my smile was one of my redeeming factors. The upper teeth exposed in the photo are now filled with gaps, overlap, and no longer in alignment. I do wish I'd left well enough alone, or seen a doctor who keeps up with the times much better. Particularly the options in adult braces.
Since I do LOTS of school presentations to kids, I really thought that would be a plus. Turns out that the majority of the elementary kids I present to don't have braces (it's more of a middle school thing), and they do seem unimpressed.
I wish I'd gone to an ortho who specializes in adult braces. My doctor is really sweet, but he even patronizes me by talking to me the way he talks to the kids in his office.
Anyway, I mainly wanted to correct a crossbite which he did. I won't have straight teeth because now he's seeing me twice a month to get them straightened up enough to get the braces off. If you look at my pictures on my website, particularly the bio pic, taken a year and a half ago, you'll see that my smile was one of my redeeming factors. The upper teeth exposed in the photo are now filled with gaps, overlap, and no longer in alignment. I do wish I'd left well enough alone, or seen a doctor who keeps up with the times much better. Particularly the options in adult braces.
If you think that getting braces was a big mistake let me assure you that down the road you'll be saying that NOT finishing your treatment was an even bigger mistake. You've invested 15 months and a lot of money into this so it would be a shame if you backed out now. I'd like to tell you to not be so self conscious about being braced but it doesn't exactly work that way 
. Seriously though, people don't pay as much attention to your braces as you think. I've had people who I see on a fairly regular basis that have just recently noticed I have braces. They ask me when I got them and I'm like "Uhh.. a year and a half ago?!" lol. You are your biggest critic so give yourself a break!
. Seriously though, people don't pay as much attention to your braces as you think. I've had people who I see on a fairly regular basis that have just recently noticed I have braces. They ask me when I got them and I'm like "Uhh.. a year and a half ago?!" lol. You are your biggest critic so give yourself a break!Braced on: June 28, 2004
Debanding : June 16th 2006
To be one, to be united is a great thing. But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
Bono
Debanding : June 16th 2006
To be one, to be united is a great thing. But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
Bono
It seems to me, Dottie, that when a person gets braces, they should fix everything -- the crossbite AND the crooked teeth. It sounds to me like your ortho is doing a sub-par job. Getting your crossbite corrected but having crooked teeth is NOT an acceptable outcome IMO. Have you considered getting an opinion from a different orthodontist? Have you asked your orthodontist WHY your teeth are now crooked and how long it will take to straighten them out? What did he tell you at the beginning of your treatment? In the initial consultation, your doc should have told you what he planned to do and how he planned to do it.
Most orthodontists these days do both adults and kids. There aren't many the "specialize" in adults, because the bulk of people who get braces are kids. If your ortho talks down to you, that's his shortcoming. My ortho never talked down to me. He sees both adults and kids (mainly kids). Perhaps you should mention this to him; he may not realize he's doing it.
Another thought: perhaps once your bite is completely corrected, the rest of the straightening could be done with Invisalign or even Lingual braces.
Most orthodontists these days do both adults and kids. There aren't many the "specialize" in adults, because the bulk of people who get braces are kids. If your ortho talks down to you, that's his shortcoming. My ortho never talked down to me. He sees both adults and kids (mainly kids). Perhaps you should mention this to him; he may not realize he's doing it.
Another thought: perhaps once your bite is completely corrected, the rest of the straightening could be done with Invisalign or even Lingual braces.
I'm the owner/admin of this site. Had ceramic uppers, metal lowers ~3 years in my early 40's. Now in Hawley retainers at night!
I think the thing that I didn't expect was how much guess work is involved. If he tries to lower one tooth, the one next to it just gets too tall. Once it was so painful I thought it was going to pull the tooth out by the roots. And I'm sick of hearing, "Well...let me try this," or "I really thought that would work." Ugh.
Dotti
If I were you I would go to another ortho and ask if this was meant to be happening. I had some problems early in my treamtment with my ortho and I questioned if the answers he gave me were correct. A person I knew had braces from another ortho so I called him to ask about my treatment and told me that my ortho was doing the right thing. Its not that I didnt trust my ortho, more I just wanted another opinion which certainly is my right because they are my teeth. Go see another ortho and ask.
On another note I have lingual braces and no one sees them so I feel more comfortable. My teeth are worse than when I started but my ortho explains at each appointment what he is doing and what to expect until my next appointment and so far so good. Its a little annoying they look worse but I just dont think about it and have such good family and friend support.
If I were you I would go to another ortho and ask if this was meant to be happening. I had some problems early in my treamtment with my ortho and I questioned if the answers he gave me were correct. A person I knew had braces from another ortho so I called him to ask about my treatment and told me that my ortho was doing the right thing. Its not that I didnt trust my ortho, more I just wanted another opinion which certainly is my right because they are my teeth. Go see another ortho and ask.
On another note I have lingual braces and no one sees them so I feel more comfortable. My teeth are worse than when I started but my ortho explains at each appointment what he is doing and what to expect until my next appointment and so far so good. Its a little annoying they look worse but I just dont think about it and have such good family and friend support.
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momof2grlz
- Posts: 525
- Joined: Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:31 pm
- Location: Orlando, Florida
Dotti, before you give up on treatment and end up with disappointing results, consult with another ortho or two if possible. Try to find someone who specializes in adults. Don't settle for a sub-par outcome. You deserve better. Good luck!
Chris
Chris
Top Ceramics: 10/11/04; Bottom Ceramics: 02/16/05 DEBANDED: 05/03/07
I am a little confused! I went to your website and I see a picture there of you with a butterflyon your nose and you are self conscious in braces? Maybe I am just confused or am not seeing the website.
Let me tell you about my recent experience. I director where I work said hello to me and noticed that I had braces. He goes "Oh, you have braces!". And he went on to tell me all about his wife in her 40's getting braces and all the grief about the food getting stuck. He didn't understand why I got braces because my teeth were pretty straight and I told him it was all about my bite. And he goes yup! My wife too!
I really don't think people think ill of folks in braces. Unless they are really, really not enlightened! And if they are really like that, do you care what they think of you? Do you want them as your friends?
Let me tell you about my recent experience. I director where I work said hello to me and noticed that I had braces. He goes "Oh, you have braces!". And he went on to tell me all about his wife in her 40's getting braces and all the grief about the food getting stuck. He didn't understand why I got braces because my teeth were pretty straight and I told him it was all about my bite. And he goes yup! My wife too!
I really don't think people think ill of folks in braces. Unless they are really, really not enlightened! And if they are really like that, do you care what they think of you? Do you want them as your friends?
That's what I thought about the pic. It was really cute. Dotti, I really would get a second or even third opinion. I got four opinions before even thinking about getting the braces on. I have picked the guy who had the best patient outcome, even if he was more expensive. I feel that I trust him more than any of the others. Good luck. I hope that everything goes well for you!jcdamon3 wrote:I am a little confused! I went to your website and I see a picture there of you with a butterflyon your nose and you are self conscious in braces? Maybe I am just confused or am not seeing the website.
It is better to aim for the stars and land in a tree than to aim for a tree and land in the mud.
Gel
Dotti,
I too am in the public eye, doing motivational speaking and guest speaking with children and adults alike. I am a semi-retired professional golfer and also do occassional TV, black tie events and on the golf course with sponsors and clients. I have not let my braces bother me in any situation. I look at it as a medical have too and let it go at that. I don't think most people even notice them and if they do it has always been a positive commit. The children I have talked with kindergarten to high school students, major corporations and colleges, don't really care one way or the other. It's the message you are conveying to them and not what's in your mouth...what comes out of your mouth. I do hope all goes well for you and you continue your treatment.
Please don't take me wrong, I'm not in love with my braces, but it's just part of making everything much better in the end. I have almost two years to go with these and can not imagine giving up my career because of something that is going to be gone soon. Compared to a life time, two years plus is nothing. It is what it is! I am going to Sports Legends the day after Thanksgiving in NYC...and going to sing the National Anthem...Oh my, on National TV. Keep your chin up! If you aren't happy with your Ortho, remember you have choices and quitting I don't really think is an option for you...I don't believe that is something you want to convey to children. Look at all of your options and make a choice!
Best of luck to you!
I too am in the public eye, doing motivational speaking and guest speaking with children and adults alike. I am a semi-retired professional golfer and also do occassional TV, black tie events and on the golf course with sponsors and clients. I have not let my braces bother me in any situation. I look at it as a medical have too and let it go at that. I don't think most people even notice them and if they do it has always been a positive commit. The children I have talked with kindergarten to high school students, major corporations and colleges, don't really care one way or the other. It's the message you are conveying to them and not what's in your mouth...what comes out of your mouth. I do hope all goes well for you and you continue your treatment.
Please don't take me wrong, I'm not in love with my braces, but it's just part of making everything much better in the end. I have almost two years to go with these and can not imagine giving up my career because of something that is going to be gone soon. Compared to a life time, two years plus is nothing. It is what it is! I am going to Sports Legends the day after Thanksgiving in NYC...and going to sing the National Anthem...Oh my, on National TV. Keep your chin up! If you aren't happy with your Ortho, remember you have choices and quitting I don't really think is an option for you...I don't believe that is something you want to convey to children. Look at all of your options and make a choice!
Best of luck to you!
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mary oregon
- Posts: 117
- Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2004 11:53 pm
- Location: Portland, Oregon
ugly stages of treatment......
dottie,
I'm finished with ortho treatment just a couple of months ago. My teeth look like model perfect teeth now. They are beautiful and gorgeous and look just like the models the orthos have. Now, keep in mind during treatment, my teeth went through some mighty ugly phases. I had gaps here and there. I also had a phase where they used lacebacks to tip my upper front teeth forward at the crowns and move them forward. For months I looked like I might end up looking like the Nutty professor Jerry lewis..... buck teeth... I could hardly look in the mirror without cringing. I told me ortho I was afraid that the finished product would not end up looking good, but she assured me I'd look perfect and I'd love it. She was right but it did take time and me trying to avoid looking in a mirror to much. you're a pretty woman and you can always switch orthos. You have nice shaped teeeth and I can't imagine why your smile can't be made gorgeous and perfect. Orthos are trained for function and aesthetics for the final goal. both are important and orthos tend to be perfectionists. there are a lot of good orthos out there. You can get the smile you desire. be persistent and don't give up if your treatment isn't complete. I had to let go of my fears and trust my ortho that she wouldn't leave me looking like a nutty professor. She didn't and people say WOW.... at my smile. People compliment my teeth all the time. trust, let go and yes, be patient and go to a different ortho if need be.
I'm finished with ortho treatment just a couple of months ago. My teeth look like model perfect teeth now. They are beautiful and gorgeous and look just like the models the orthos have. Now, keep in mind during treatment, my teeth went through some mighty ugly phases. I had gaps here and there. I also had a phase where they used lacebacks to tip my upper front teeth forward at the crowns and move them forward. For months I looked like I might end up looking like the Nutty professor Jerry lewis..... buck teeth... I could hardly look in the mirror without cringing. I told me ortho I was afraid that the finished product would not end up looking good, but she assured me I'd look perfect and I'd love it. She was right but it did take time and me trying to avoid looking in a mirror to much. you're a pretty woman and you can always switch orthos. You have nice shaped teeeth and I can't imagine why your smile can't be made gorgeous and perfect. Orthos are trained for function and aesthetics for the final goal. both are important and orthos tend to be perfectionists. there are a lot of good orthos out there. You can get the smile you desire. be persistent and don't give up if your treatment isn't complete. I had to let go of my fears and trust my ortho that she wouldn't leave me looking like a nutty professor. She didn't and people say WOW.... at my smile. People compliment my teeth all the time. trust, let go and yes, be patient and go to a different ortho if need be.
That which does not kill you, makes you stronger.