How did you make the announcement you were getting braced?

[dena]

Hi all:

I've read different stories that touched on this, but I was just wondering how you told your friends and family about your decision. Did you tell people ahead of time or just let them be surprised?

Only a few people in my family know and my roommate, too...it's winter break and when everyone's back in January, I'll already have the braces. I've chickened out of telling a few people already, but I feel like I should keep a few close friends in the loop.

I could definitely be accused of obsessing over my emotional baggage, but my teeth REALLY bother me. I find myself in conversations all the time that make me want to cry (friends talking about so-and-so that they work with who "have bad teeth" or a few weeks ago, there was a long convo at dinner because one girl was talking about her friend who wants braces and her parents aren't supportive even though her teeth are very crooked...then this person said that her grandpa bought her braces when she was 14 because he said no one would marry her otherwise...she thought that was mean/stupid for sure, but the entire conversation made me want to slide under the table.)

It's no secret that my teeth are crooked, but I'm dreading even reacting to the "you got braces!" realizations from people. If someone said "it's about time" or even said something remotely rude, I'd want to cry. Or hit them.

Everyone here seems super-positive, which I really appreciate, but I am just wondering if you were always that way. Getting braces means fixing a problem, but it also means acknowledging a problem (can't pretend that "I don't care that my teeth are crooked" anymore.)

How have others mastered this?

[nimo]

I told my husband, but that's the only person in my family who knows. I'm just not going to tell them.

I told a friend of mine that I'm "probably getting my face broken." I know that none of my real friends will care, so long as I'm happy, but I don't feel like telling them. I'm not proud of my teeth, and even if I'm fixing them, I don't want to bring more attention to them.

[ssfw]

I don't feel you have any obligation to tell anybody you will be getting braces. If you have some close family/friends that you know will be happy/supportive to you, share the good news with them. For everybody else, they will know when they see your braces and if anybody says anything mean/rude just ignore the comment and don't respond. Some people tend not to think before they speak. You know you're doing something good for your teeth and for yourself. You should be proud that you took this step. Keep in mind, after awhile people forget you even have braces, it becomes a part of you and that's when the questions/comments stop.

Good luck.

ssfw

[jimmy18]

The only people that knew I was going to be braced were my parents and my girlfriend. I told them way ahead of time, and they were the ones who supported me to get them.

After I had the braces put on, people who saw me with them haven't said much. Friends and aquaintences at school have maybe commented by saying "Oh, you got braces." or "I remember when I had them." Hasn't been on negative comment thus far.

[drazda]

I didn't tell ANYONE that I was going to get braces when I got them. I told one person that I was considering getting braces. I didn't even know when I was getting them, the day I thought I was getting spacers, I actually got the braces! The Ortho said I wouldn't need the spacers. If I knew I was getting braces, I think I might have told a couple of people I was getting them.

[serendipity]

Like other posters I only told a couple of family members and some close friends. I think - well for me anyway I reasoned the less of a big deal I made about it the less of a big deal people would make out of me having braces.

In those initial couple of weeks where you come in contact with people you know that you haven't seen pre-braces I found it was best just to be really cool about the whole thing, not to get embrassed just flash them a smile and answer any questions that they may ask. Once people realise that it doesn't bother you or *cough* (when you can fake that sucessfully) people usually don't care either. Before I got braces I thought it was going to be a HUGE deal but then I realised that everyone has there own stuff happening and the whole "oh you got braces" conversation lasts for 30 seconds and usually doesn't come up with that person again.

Good luck with however and whoever your telling just remember people usually react to how your reacting - act cool and indifferent about it and thats usually the reaction you'll get back.

~serendipty~

[mackenzie]

I told some people I was getting braces but I wasn't sure when. Even though I knew. So they wern't super suprised when they saw me. My best friend was being really really weird and kept smacking my face, which I figured out was because she wanted to know what they felt like but obviously wasn't going to ask. She got a lil embarrassed when she realized I "figured her out..."

[ssfw]

Hi KK,

How did you respond when your boss commented 'they must be costing a lot'?

Also, just want to say you always have kind words to all when you post replies - thanks!!!!

ssfw


I don't work on Wednesday's so my boss didn't know I was off to the city for an ortho appointment. He didn't say anything for at least a week, and when he did it was somewhere between a comment like 'why' and 'they must be costing a lot' ... luckily I had prepared for that type of comment.

[alexa]

I smiled with my brand new bonded top brackets shining in the sun!

Seriously, I did say I was going in for a consult, but I had said that I wasn't sure. I had talked about braces off and on for several years and had never done anything about it, so I think they were all shocked when I came home from the consult with metal cemented to my teeth!

[nvcarissa]

The only people that were told about my braces before the fact were the people who live in my house. That would be my husband, my daughter and son-in-law. And only my husband knew all the details of my consults, with the ortho and the oral surgeon. Frankly, I didn't want to have to answer everyone's "second guessing" comments and questions before I even did the deed.

[dkt3]

I tell everyone I know! Because I have linguals so many are interested in looking at how they work. It allows me to complain about the pain to lots more people

[Lexy]

My hubby went with me, so of course he knew, and I told close friends/family. I was never embarassed that I was getting braces.

Before getting braced, I never smiled because I hated my teeth so much. I would put my hand over my mouth when I laughed, yawned, etc... anytime my mouth was open. Everyone thought I was the "shy" girl because I didn't talk much. (I'm not a shy person at all, but because I was so ashamed of my teeth and had this insane fear that people would notice how bad they were, I didn't initiate conversation.)

All of that changed the *day* I got braces. I smiled at everyone I saw. Now mind you, on the first day you have braces, your teeth look exactly like they did before, except you've got crazy metal or ceramic going all over the place. They didn't look any better. But because I was now actively fixing them, I didn't care what people thought about my teeth. I knew that from that day forward, they would never be the same. Little by little each day, they would become straighter. That made all the difference to me. I found my confidence AND my self esteem that day.

As for people making rude comments: I've never received any. People generally don't care. At most, they ask when I got them or how long I have left. I ask people in braces the same thing. Wearing braces just isn't that big of a deal anymore, no matter how old you are.

I'm glad you decided to get braces. I know exactly how you felt when people commented about other's "bad teeth". I always wanted to leave the room when a friend mentioned someone else's "bad teeth". I was terrified they might point at me and say something to the effect of "like her's!" None of my friends would do that of course, but the very thought mortified me.

Simply put, there's more to life than worrying about your teeth. There is so much I've missed out on because I was so ashamed of my teeth, so afraid people might notice them that I didn't even want to talk. I am having to make up for all those years now. I regret not getting them sooner. They have *greatly* improved my quality of life and my self image. You will see.

Congrats on the first step towards straighter teeth! Good luck!! Let us know how it goes.

[objectinspace]

Sounds a lot like me. I had trouble even telling my closest family because just talking about my teeth made me so uncomfortable. I know my teeth were bad but I could sort of ignore it, and dreaded braces bringing attention to them. The second I got braces that changed though.

The people I expected to be the hardest on me were the easiest (my friends). They either were suportive or just didn't care. When I saw a buddy of mine for the first time I said "Hey, what do you think of my braces?" ... He said he didn't even notice, looked for a half second then went into a speech about his own dental problems. Most people seem to use it as an excuse to talk about their own issues. It just goes to show braces are a huge deal to you, but really no one cares.

[KJM]

Like the others, I was a bit shy about them the esp first few weeks.

Only my immediate family knew I was getting them ( my dh and kids) and since then only my Mother and Brother have seen me until this past weekend when we went home for our "family holiday get together".

I was pretty worried what the reaction would be ( figuring it would be a snide "must be nice to have that much money to throw around" from them ) I choose however to immediately step up and say "How do you like my new teeth jewlery?" It got a chuckle, a few ooohs!, a stupid comment from my step Mom ( "why would you get braces? Your teeth werent crooked", to which my Grandmother said, "Oh yes they were!" ) and that was that, no one even said another word about them for the rest of the weekend.

[bajanrose]

I told my parents and 2 of my brothers, I'll surprise anyone else with 'em when I get 'em. My parents just asked why I wanted them so did my brothers and that was the end of that. They've been supportive, I got a TPA so far and they've all had a look at it out of curiousity haha. Only one person in my family has ever had braces, and that was my older brother but I was like 5 and he moved to Canada, so heh.