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Jane wrote:Hi Peggysue and sauerkraut - thank you for your kind words. As I've said before, i have my moments when I want to scream with frustration... today was one of those...
We had the follow up meeting with the original team. Even after having received a letter from our independent professor, they just couldn't bring themselves to say that the outcome of the surgery was not what was intended. Today, however, they decided to take a different approach...rather than trying to confuse us like they did the last time, they said they couldn't really comment as neither of them were there when the surgery was carried out (i.e. in the theater!!). They didn't therefore, know if the surgeon had decided to do something that wasn't planned - they just ouldn't comment. UNBELIEVABLE! We asked if the movements planned - clearly written down on the notes - were achieved, and the new surgeon said he didn't know, he hadn't studied them! When we said that we couldn't understand then what his role was now - in our view she had been passed over to him and was he then saying he hadn't given her any thought or time?! All he could say was I wasn't involved in planning or carrying out the surgery. It was apparent that they are both very keen to pass her on to the new team in a different location.
What was most distressing today was to hear my daughter explaining to them the impact this was having on her and expressing her concern as to why they just couldn't acknowledge that they understood why she was concerned with the outcome. But, they just refused to acknowledge the fact that it was not a good outcome. In fact the orthodontist said in his view it was 99% good. At that point I just said hold on a minute are you serious - and asked the surgeon did he agree with that. His reply was I didn't say that, and then the orthodontist said, well maybe I was too hasty - perhaps it's 90-95% good. I asked him to put that in writing in the notes and then to provide us with a copy - we'll see!
I just can't understand how two professional people can be so cold and calculated in their dealings with a young girl who is so obviously distressed. Even the nurse assisting was shaking her head in disbelief.
The orthodontists final word was "I just hope you are not back here in 6 months, you know, because the surgeon didn't or couldn't do what he has said". My response to him was "no matter what is the outcome of the second surgery the responsibility for all of this remains with this team - there would be no second surgery if the first one had been done correctly". I also reminded them both of the trust's mission statement which is to treat patients in the way we would want our families treated. I asked them to take time to ask themselves honestly if they would be happy if their daughter, wife or sister had received the treatment, care and support she had.
On a positive note, it seems likely that the surgery can be done sooner without the additional orthodontic work - this is really good news for her.
We're not sure what are the next steps. We will contact the new surgeon on Monday and see where we go from there. She is lying sleeping as I write this before we leave her to the airport to go back to university (as she has exams next week.) To be honest I think she will have to take a year out of university next year, even if the surgery is done in June as she is emotionally exhausted. We had a good chat to day as a family, and I think we came to the decision that it would probably be too stressful to launch straight into a year abroad so soon after surgery...she said she has been coming to terms with this in her mind - there is some reason for it I'm sure. We will just keep trusting God to work things out for her ultimate good and ours. For anyone who is familiar with the bible...Romans 8 v 28 is one of my favourite verses, it is a great comfort in all of this.
Thank you all for your good wishes. God bless, Jane xx