Wonder if my parents will think I look different
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fromjersey
- Posts: 306
- Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 1:51 pm
- Location: San Diego
Stay with it, angelcake
Dear angelcake: You are on the right track seeking surgery and your family is wrong and insensitive. Please do what is best for you and don't let anybody guilt-trip you into delaying surgery. It is not a "weakness" but your strength that drives you towards surgery.
Ask yourself why those close to you don't want to see you healthier and looking better. Such people think only of cosmetics and not of the function of our jaws. They don't know of the physical and emotional pain we have gone through, all the jaw clicks and overbites and headaches and drooling and crooked teeth and breathing problems and funny looks from strangers we have endured.
Your character is more admirable than those who are now making you confused. Stay on track. Don't avoid the surgery. I hope maybe some day your family will understand and come near to attaining the great heart and soul you have.
Helen
Ask yourself why those close to you don't want to see you healthier and looking better. Such people think only of cosmetics and not of the function of our jaws. They don't know of the physical and emotional pain we have gone through, all the jaw clicks and overbites and headaches and drooling and crooked teeth and breathing problems and funny looks from strangers we have endured.
Your character is more admirable than those who are now making you confused. Stay on track. Don't avoid the surgery. I hope maybe some day your family will understand and come near to attaining the great heart and soul you have.
Helen
Thank you for your replies. In some ways, I do see where my parents are coming from. Helen, what you said about your experience was truly shocking (drooling and funny looks from strangers?! I have most certainly not ever experienced that! I'm sorry that you have, and I think if I was in that position my parents would be much more understanding). The truth is, I have not really suffered much pain or discomfort or physical problems. Yes, I would look better with the surgery, but I think the way my mother sees it is if someone was offered a nose job for free because their face didn't look quite right, they would probably tell the surgeon where to go!
Just wanted to defend my mother a bit. I do think it must be hard for her. Most people on this board have had functional problems because of their jaw relationships, which is why people seem to have a problem believing me when I say I REALLY HAVEN'T, and that I've now seen both an orthodontist and two surgeons and they've all told me that I'm unlikely to have any health problems in the future if I don't get the surgery. Which is why my mother sees it as basically just cosmetic and finds it hard to accept. And why it's really hard to know if I should go through with it or not.
You see, I had all these plans once I left college - I was going to travel the world but how can I do that if I have to fly back every 6 weeks for adjustments? If I get this surgery I will almost definitely have to move home and get a job, and that's not how I imagined my early twenties. This whole situation is pretty much ruining me and I just wish I knew what to do.
Just wanted to defend my mother a bit. I do think it must be hard for her. Most people on this board have had functional problems because of their jaw relationships, which is why people seem to have a problem believing me when I say I REALLY HAVEN'T, and that I've now seen both an orthodontist and two surgeons and they've all told me that I'm unlikely to have any health problems in the future if I don't get the surgery. Which is why my mother sees it as basically just cosmetic and finds it hard to accept. And why it's really hard to know if I should go through with it or not.
You see, I had all these plans once I left college - I was going to travel the world but how can I do that if I have to fly back every 6 weeks for adjustments? If I get this surgery I will almost definitely have to move home and get a job, and that's not how I imagined my early twenties. This whole situation is pretty much ruining me and I just wish I knew what to do.
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misskristen
- Posts: 55
- Joined: Tue Feb 13, 2007 8:24 pm
- Location: San Francisco, CA
- Contact:
It's YOUR decision
Hi Angel Cake,
Ultimately, it's YOUR decision. You're not doing this to please your mother, or anyone else. If your overbite has always bothered you, AND your doctor recommended the surgery, then why not, if there's a medical necessity for it? IF, it's just to improve your appearance, then I'd say weigh the pros and cons and figure out if you're ready and willing to go through braces and surgery for it. Do what you feel comfortable with. What anyone else says should not factor into it.
Kristen
http://bracemyself.blogspot.com/
Ultimately, it's YOUR decision. You're not doing this to please your mother, or anyone else. If your overbite has always bothered you, AND your doctor recommended the surgery, then why not, if there's a medical necessity for it? IF, it's just to improve your appearance, then I'd say weigh the pros and cons and figure out if you're ready and willing to go through braces and surgery for it. Do what you feel comfortable with. What anyone else says should not factor into it.
Kristen
http://bracemyself.blogspot.com/
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misskristen
- Posts: 55
- Joined: Tue Feb 13, 2007 8:24 pm
- Location: San Francisco, CA
- Contact:
Just saw your last post
Hey again Angel Cake,
Just saw your last post. Hmm. In a way, I understand. I had an edge-on-edge bite. It certainly didn't look right. Yes, my dentist said my back molars were getting extra wear and tear (since I never really used my front teeth to cut anything). And yes, I had occasional jaw joint exhaustion, clicks, and pain - but nothing extreme. In fact, I asked my ortho and surgeon what would happen if I chose to never do anything about it. They said my teeth would get worn out faster, and that my joint pains might worsen - but, since they didn't seem to get worse over the years, I didn't see that as much of a threat.
I went ahead with the braces and the surgery anyway. Why? Because I didn't want to run the risk of serious future problems. And also because I was sick and tired of being self-conscious about my prominent, protruding lower jaw. Who cares what anyone else thinks of it? That thought never even crossed my mind. Am I glad I did it? Oh YES.
If the timing isn't right for you, and the budget isn't quite there, there's nothing wrong with waiting a while. After all, it doesn't sound like you have any medical needs for it and you're not hurting. Give yourself some time, maybe. Think it over. Do it, don't do it. There's no wrong decision. There's a timing for everything.... don't you think? Besides, you're only in your early 20s. If you feel as if having surgery now might slow you down in your travel plans - hold off on it. You can always come back and do it when you're sure about what you want. Plus, who knows, they might even have more advanced technologies by then to make the whole experience easier.
In the end, do what you feel comfortable with. Do what puts you at ease and gives you peace.
Kristen
http://bracemyself.blogspot.com/
Just saw your last post. Hmm. In a way, I understand. I had an edge-on-edge bite. It certainly didn't look right. Yes, my dentist said my back molars were getting extra wear and tear (since I never really used my front teeth to cut anything). And yes, I had occasional jaw joint exhaustion, clicks, and pain - but nothing extreme. In fact, I asked my ortho and surgeon what would happen if I chose to never do anything about it. They said my teeth would get worn out faster, and that my joint pains might worsen - but, since they didn't seem to get worse over the years, I didn't see that as much of a threat.
I went ahead with the braces and the surgery anyway. Why? Because I didn't want to run the risk of serious future problems. And also because I was sick and tired of being self-conscious about my prominent, protruding lower jaw. Who cares what anyone else thinks of it? That thought never even crossed my mind. Am I glad I did it? Oh YES.
If the timing isn't right for you, and the budget isn't quite there, there's nothing wrong with waiting a while. After all, it doesn't sound like you have any medical needs for it and you're not hurting. Give yourself some time, maybe. Think it over. Do it, don't do it. There's no wrong decision. There's a timing for everything.... don't you think? Besides, you're only in your early 20s. If you feel as if having surgery now might slow you down in your travel plans - hold off on it. You can always come back and do it when you're sure about what you want. Plus, who knows, they might even have more advanced technologies by then to make the whole experience easier.
In the end, do what you feel comfortable with. Do what puts you at ease and gives you peace.
Kristen
http://bracemyself.blogspot.com/
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fromjersey
- Posts: 306
- Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 1:51 pm
- Location: San Diego
why did you get referred for surgery?
Angelcake: My understanding is that orthodontic care alone can correct some bites, but we are referred to oral surgeon when we have skeletal problems. And such problems are as much functional as cosmetic. Exactly why were you referred? You mention a profile that caused you to jut your lower jaw forward. Wondering what language was used by your orthod. to describe your situation?
It's very, very difficult when our families don't understand and sometimes they do cause us to question our very proper and correct assessments of our facial deformities. Sometimes we doubt ourselves when we shouldn't.
Helen
It's very, very difficult when our families don't understand and sometimes they do cause us to question our very proper and correct assessments of our facial deformities. Sometimes we doubt ourselves when we shouldn't.
Helen
Re: Just saw your last post
I couldn't agree more. Given my choice between surgery I didn't immediately require and hopping on a plane to someplace exciting, the latter would win hands-down.Besides, you're only in your early 20s. If you feel as if having surgery now might slow you down in your travel plans - hold off on it. You can always come back and do it when you're sure about what you want. Plus, who knows, they might even have more advanced technologies by then to make the whole experience easier.
In the end, do what you feel comfortable with. Do what puts you at ease and gives you peace.
Having said that, I certainly don't judge you (Angelcake) for considering the surgery for aesthetic reasons -- and neither should your family.
Braced March 2005 (lower); November 2005 (upper); all ceramic. Goal = correcting overbite.
Lower jaw surgery was successfully performed December 18, 2006.
Lower jaw surgery was successfully performed December 18, 2006.
Helen,
The surgeon said that my bite is not correct, however it doesn't appear to be causing any functional problems and it is unlikely to in the future. He said if it bothers me, I should have the operation, if not I should go out and enjoy life. He also said I was already very attractive, and my mother was there when he said this, so she likes to throw this in my face whenever I mention the surgery.
The reason I jut my jaw out is because I had twin blocks (a type of braces) when I was 11, which can be effective in correcting an overbite, however I got them too late, I had already stopped growing and instead of moving the bones forward all they did was move the muscles. Due to wearing the braces, my muscles kind of got used to staying forward and they've pretty much stayed there ever since. It actually really hurts to push them back to where the bones are, and the surgeon said this is unlikely to change as they've been like this over a decade now.
I was referred to the surgeon when I was 13, I didn't really understand anything of it, the surgeon said pretty much the same as what I've written above and together with my parents we decided not to bother with it. I went through a bit of a crisis when I was about 19 and became conscious of the fact that I could push my jaw backwards and nobody else could, and so decided to go back to the surgeon.
And that's my story - I guess it's not as clear cut as most. I'm planning to get counselling when I'm back in the UK and am hoping that might help me to decide what to do. Thanks for everybody's support and all the posts, I appreciate it.
The surgeon said that my bite is not correct, however it doesn't appear to be causing any functional problems and it is unlikely to in the future. He said if it bothers me, I should have the operation, if not I should go out and enjoy life. He also said I was already very attractive, and my mother was there when he said this, so she likes to throw this in my face whenever I mention the surgery.
The reason I jut my jaw out is because I had twin blocks (a type of braces) when I was 11, which can be effective in correcting an overbite, however I got them too late, I had already stopped growing and instead of moving the bones forward all they did was move the muscles. Due to wearing the braces, my muscles kind of got used to staying forward and they've pretty much stayed there ever since. It actually really hurts to push them back to where the bones are, and the surgeon said this is unlikely to change as they've been like this over a decade now.
I was referred to the surgeon when I was 13, I didn't really understand anything of it, the surgeon said pretty much the same as what I've written above and together with my parents we decided not to bother with it. I went through a bit of a crisis when I was about 19 and became conscious of the fact that I could push my jaw backwards and nobody else could, and so decided to go back to the surgeon.
And that's my story - I guess it's not as clear cut as most. I'm planning to get counselling when I'm back in the UK and am hoping that might help me to decide what to do. Thanks for everybody's support and all the posts, I appreciate it.