It's all making me feel a bit down right now.
I guess perhaps I had been so ready for this change for so long and nobody else gave it much of a second thought?How do you deal with other's reactions to your new face?
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How do you deal with other's reactions to your new face?
I, for one, am ecstatic to look in the mirror and see a symmetrical jaw but it seems that the change has been much more drastic to those around me. My boyfriend has said that he is struggling because I no longer "look like the girl he fell in love with." Friends have said, "Oh wow.... um, wow you look really different," and then it is an awkward silence.
It's all making me feel a bit down right now. I guess perhaps I had been so ready for this change for so long and nobody else gave it much of a second thought?
It's all making me feel a bit down right now.
I guess perhaps I had been so ready for this change for so long and nobody else gave it much of a second thought?-
FuzzyPants
- Posts: 156
- Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2008 9:56 pm
- Location: Vancouver, BC
Please don't feel down. It will take some time for everyone to adjust. A coworker said the same thing to me the day I returned to the office, but my own mother didn't notice any changes! Remember not equate "looking different" with "looking bad".
Braced October 17, 2007
BSSO and Lefort August 13, 2008
De-braced November 24, 2008
BSSO and Lefort August 13, 2008
De-braced November 24, 2008
Laugh it off.
I worked with a partner a lot two summers ago and we were on a good first name basis when I left for the summer. I returned this September, and my office is right across from his. Not a word. Not even a smile in my direction. Nothing. I thought, okay, so it's different when recruiting versus when actually working?
Turned out he had no idea it was me, didn't recognize me.
What can you do? Laugh. It's kinda funny, no? As now he knows who I am he is friendly, says hi, how are you, etc.
As for your BF... hrm. You are the same person, you just have a functional bite. Really, he needs to get over himself and stop projecting on you. You made a choice for yourself, not for other's reactions, so don't worry about it - they will get over it, if you did, since you are the one who actually had surgery
I worked with a partner a lot two summers ago and we were on a good first name basis when I left for the summer. I returned this September, and my office is right across from his. Not a word. Not even a smile in my direction. Nothing. I thought, okay, so it's different when recruiting versus when actually working?
Turned out he had no idea it was me, didn't recognize me.
What can you do? Laugh. It's kinda funny, no? As now he knows who I am he is friendly, says hi, how are you, etc.
As for your BF... hrm. You are the same person, you just have a functional bite. Really, he needs to get over himself and stop projecting on you. You made a choice for yourself, not for other's reactions, so don't worry about it - they will get over it, if you did, since you are the one who actually had surgery
gatorseh,
My suggestion...focus on that ecstatic feeling you have when you look in the mirror. Carry it with you, and allow it to radiate from you! In no time, the rest of the world will be "up to speed" with your new face, and begin to feel happy for you. If they don't, there is no reason for you to dwell on it. Just be happy with yourself.
As for your boyfriend, you might want to have a talk with him about what you love about each other (including all the things YOU love about HIM!), and hopefully you will discover that the list is long, and includes so many other things than just appearance!
Just my two cents...enjoy life!
Be well, and at peace,
Phil
My suggestion...focus on that ecstatic feeling you have when you look in the mirror. Carry it with you, and allow it to radiate from you! In no time, the rest of the world will be "up to speed" with your new face, and begin to feel happy for you. If they don't, there is no reason for you to dwell on it. Just be happy with yourself.
As for your boyfriend, you might want to have a talk with him about what you love about each other (including all the things YOU love about HIM!), and hopefully you will discover that the list is long, and includes so many other things than just appearance!
Just my two cents...enjoy life!
Be well, and at peace,
Phil
There are no ordinary moments.
Check out my blog! http://pcadams.wordpress.com/
Check out my blog! http://pcadams.wordpress.com/
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FuzzyPants
- Posts: 156
- Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2008 9:56 pm
- Location: Vancouver, BC
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anotherbraceface
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Fri Jun 16, 2006 6:33 pm
I'm a little late on this discussion, but a friend of mine had orthognathic surgery in high school. She only ever mentioned it in a really low key way, so when she came out with - no joke - a totally new face it was ... needless to say, unexpected and everyone was in shock.
So, I can speak from the other side when I say that your friends probably just don't know what to say. It's not that they don't want to be supportive, or that they're judging you, but that they probably didn't expect such a major change. They probably think you look as great as you feel, but don't want to say it because it might sound rude ("oh, you look GREAT" "oh, so I looked like crap before?").
I say, let it go, make light of it, it'll help them feel more comfortable with it over time, or just ignore it completely and they'll adapt to your new look.
So, I can speak from the other side when I say that your friends probably just don't know what to say. It's not that they don't want to be supportive, or that they're judging you, but that they probably didn't expect such a major change. They probably think you look as great as you feel, but don't want to say it because it might sound rude ("oh, you look GREAT" "oh, so I looked like crap before?").
I say, let it go, make light of it, it'll help them feel more comfortable with it over time, or just ignore it completely and they'll adapt to your new look.
I'll be having surgery next year but my younger sister had upper jaw surgery & a sliding genioplasty last year- and she looked very different. In my opinion, I still recognized her b/c I've been around her for 18 years, lol, but extended family said she looked like a completely different person. She returned to school after summer break and people walked right past her in the halls, when she said hi - they didn't know who she was. She was shocked, as was I - as well as all her friends.
The change was definently for the better, but I can understand how people don't want to say "Oh wow, you look SOOO much better", not wanting to appear rude. Eventually people, including yourself, will get used to your new appearance & even forget you used to look any different - it's just an adjustment period right now is all.
I'm excited about my surgery aswell just b/c as much as you try and picture the outcome in your head - you never really know how exactly it will turn out - all I know is that the change/ function of your bite will be well worth the awkward faze - good luck to you!
The change was definently for the better, but I can understand how people don't want to say "Oh wow, you look SOOO much better", not wanting to appear rude. Eventually people, including yourself, will get used to your new appearance & even forget you used to look any different - it's just an adjustment period right now is all.
I'm excited about my surgery aswell just b/c as much as you try and picture the outcome in your head - you never really know how exactly it will turn out - all I know is that the change/ function of your bite will be well worth the awkward faze - good luck to you!