Should I postpone dating until after surgery?

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#1 Post by **Lingualita** » Mon Jan 25, 2010 3:56 pm

I might have orthognathic surgery, I have my meeting with an oral surgeon in 2 weeks, so I'll know more then.

My question is, would you start dating a guy if you knew you were having orthognathic surgery in 6 months? Or would you wait until after surgery? I am currently single, and I'm in no rush to meet a guy, but it's just that I've met a guy I kinda like. We haven't started dating or anything, but I have the feeling he might be interested... But I can't imagine having to tell him all about surgery, he seing me in all that pain, me and he having to adjust to my new look etc....

So basically, if you kinda had the option whether to start seeing someone or not, would future surgery prevent you from doing this?

#2 Post by **asmileconnectsus** » Mon Jan 25, 2010 4:13 pm

I met my boyfriend 4 months before I got my surgery plan, 3 months after I found out what was wrong with my jaw. That was over 3 years ago, so I think that if you are with the right person than anything is possible. I know I couldn't have gotten though my surgery without his support. I would just be upfront about everything. At first I was embarrassed about having to wear a splint and then have braces and then worried about how i would look after surgery, but none of those things have mattered to him. He just is happy that I am getting better! Best of luck to you!

#3 Post by **OhioM** » Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:07 pm

I'm married, but if I were single and dating, the surgery would have no impact on who I decided to date or the timing. Really, it's a big commitment, but there may only be a few weeks where your relationship will be impacted by hospital stays and recovery. Any mature, adult couple who like each other should get through it just fine.

#4 Post by **Lingualita** » Tue Jan 26, 2010 12:14 am

Thanks Asmileconnectsus and Ohio M.

Deep down I totally agree with borh of you. I'm just afraid to get hurt I suppose, afraid that he can't handle the ordeal of me going through surgery. But of course you're right, if he's the one, he'll handle it. I just think the timing is the worse..

#5 Post by **Noam** » Tue Jan 26, 2010 1:55 am

If he's smart, he'll have more reason to date you after he'll learn you're about to get surgery. The reason is you are probably going to look better after surgery (2-3 months afterwards, that is), so if he likes your appearance/personality now, he only has things to gain.

I got my first girlfriend the same month I started braces treatment for surgery. A week after we started I put the braces, and told her about surgery. She couldn't care less.

#6 Post by **Emaciated** » Wed Jan 27, 2010 12:41 am

Wait till after the surgery. You'll be better looking and will get a hotter guy. Just sayin'.

#7 Post by **Lingualita** » Wed Jan 27, 2010 1:25 am

Hi Karl,

I understand what you re saying, but this guy is already "out of my league", at least I feel so, so I really don't think I would be able to get any hotter after surgery. haha

.

I'm more worried about all the stuff regarding the surgery. I'll keep you posted, both regarding this guy and the surgery

.

#8 Post by **queenofoverbite** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 9:35 pm

Note: I havent had my surgery yet.

BUT. I am currently wearing braces, going to consults all the time, and spending free time trying to convince my dang insurance companies to cover the surgery. It can feel like a lot and very VERY frustrating.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years and he is soo good at de-stressing me. Whether its being ready with tylenol & hot tea when my braces are killing me and I'm cranky to dealing with my emotional self when I'm turned down yet again by insurance.

Having him to support and help me has made everything soo much better. If I were you, I would just see what happens between you two. But I think it could possibly be very rewarding to have a buddy during the whole thing who is focused on taking good care of you.