Reluctant To Tell Anyone My Plan For Surgery...

Message

#1 Post by **dayeangphurr** » Wed Jun 23, 2010 11:35 pm

Has anyone ever kept their plans for jaw surgery a complete SECRET from everyone? And for what reasons? Would it be foolish to do so for pride?

#2 Post by **MetalMedic** » Thu Jun 24, 2010 5:53 am

I usually didnt bring it up unless #1. They needed to know or #2. They some how got wind of it and asked about it. Other than that, it didnt make a difference to me.

#3 Post by **charlsie142** » Thu Jun 24, 2010 5:58 am

Do you mean everyone, including those in your household or close family? I ask simply because you'll need someone to help take care of you the first week or so (I had someone for 2 weeks 24/7...made a huge difference). As far as friends, coworkers, etc...I only told those who I knew would be coming by to see me, understood why I was having the surgery, and that I would want their support after surgery.

So, like MetalMedic said, only those that I wanted them to know or somehow heard about it anyway. It was just easier not to have to explain everything to everyone for me.

Hope this helps!

#4 Post by **Kirish** » Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:28 am

If this was a classic aesthetic surgery like a nose job, face lift, fat suction, etc. I would definitely had more problems telling people I'm going to do it. But, because this surgery can be camouflaged as a functional one (using the notion that a bad bite leads to all sort of functional problems) I find it alot easier to tell people.

I've told all of my close family (mother, father, sister, grandparents. can't really hide such a thing from them), and also all of my co-workers (since otherwise how will I explain an absence of 2-3 weeks, and more importantly a new face when I come back). Regarding friends, some I've told, some not.

#5 Post by **moonpie** » Fri Jun 25, 2010 12:09 am

Interesting question. Only my family and a few close friends know about my upcoming jaw surgery. I stopped telling people about it because I don't like some of the reactions I get. I don't know about the rest of you, but the first couple of times I told someone I was eventually going to need jaw surgery, they reacted with a kind of frightened expression and said things like "Aren't you SCARED?" and "Oh my God!" So I have taken to not volunteering this information because I don't like people making me nervous about getting surgery. I am already prone to over-worrying, so I don't really need other people freaking out about it. (I have read a lot about this surgery, so I feel pretty confident that everything will go OK, but I don't like having to answer the same questions over and over again.)

My surgeon has told me that my facial appearance will not change much post-surgery, so I imagine those people outside my circle of family/friends won't know about my surgery unless I tell them. (Unless of course they see me during the swelling phase. Maybe I'll tell more people about the whole jaw adventure once I'm (hopefully) nice and healed, when surgery is over and I don't have to answer people's scary/annoyingly repetitive questions.

If you want to keep your surgery a complete secret, I think that's a personal choice and you don't have to share this part of your life if you really don't want to, for whatever reason. If you think people will judge you, well then I understand your reluctance to share. Like others have mentioned, you will probably need to confide in someone for practical reasons (unless maybe you hire a personal caretaker and disappear for a while?). I don't think there's much to be embarrassed about, even if you are only concerned about post-surgery aesthetic results, but I understand wanting to avoid the burden of feeling judged or having to answer people's questions. I have to say that, in my experience, I think most people who don't know about orthognathic surgery seem to find it pretty fascinating and it makes for a semi-interesting conversation piece. When my extended family found out, my cousin couldn't stop asking me about it (Will they wire your jaw shut? how many screws will they use? etc, etc.). He wanted to know everything. So, yeah, if it does leak out, be prepared to entertain people with all the grisly details.

#6 Post by **OzzysMom** » Fri Jun 25, 2010 1:48 am

I had been very open and honest about mine since I had my first consultation with the ortho. Since my case was severe and the results completely changed my look, it would have been difficult for me to hide.
I agree with the consensus that those close to you should know but if you don't feel comfortable telling others, then those people don't need to know anything. Also, remember that anyone who sees you in the weeks following surgery will probably figure that something is up.
I also found that most people were completely unaware of this type of surgery and found it fascinating...not to mention that I enjoyed watching their reactions when I gave them the graphic details

)

#7 Post by **joebraces** » Sat Jun 26, 2010 6:19 am

At first I wasn't going to tell anyone (because I rarely saw my "friends" anymore) but eventually I got bored so I told people... and it wasn't such a big deal to most of the people I've told.

The ONLY reason I wouldn't tell someone is to have that suprised look on their face when they see you with a "new look". I bet that would be a memorable moment!

#8 Post by **descantus** » Sat Jun 26, 2010 8:41 am

Not foolish at all. This surgery can be a very personal and emotional matter so it's no-one else's business but your own. However as everyone above has mentioned, it's good to have a small group in on the plan as they're likely to be the ones who'll pull you through when you're at a low ebb post surgery.

#9 Post by **mountaingirl** » Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:23 pm

I have told a zillion people, but I am having the surgery for improved function and opted out of doing the cosmetic improvement (genio). If it was a cosmetic surgery, then I probably wouldn't have told many people - only people I thought wouldn't be judgmental. The only thing is that if there is a big difference people will notice even if they don't say anything.