HokieTay:
Umm, no we're not living in the past, but pre-op is how the person lived for the first 20, 25, 30, or whatever years of their life. I doubt they want to look back at that time and think wow, I was ugly, but now I'm pretty so it's okay.
Why hold on to thoughts that make you miserable ?, nobody here read books of Katie Byron ? (
www.thework.com), I'm
far from being able to follow her way of life, but her method does help to get rid of thoughts that really gets you nothing but pain.
If you think that way, you're surely still going to be a miserable person post-op.
Why ?
I don't consider myself a "miserable person". To tell the truth if I had the choice today I'm not sure I would have done this surgery.
I committed to this surgery 2.5 years ago when my self esteem/confidence hit rock bottom regarding my looks (was 29 y/o then). Together with committing to this surgery I started going to the gym (I was underweight for all my life) and gain weight. The changes my body went in the gym really helped with my confidence, and 1.5 years ago for the first time I started a relationship.
My girlfriend thinks this surgery is insanity. I think I probably have the confidence of going through life with the underbite I had back when I started orthodontic treatment. The thing is that my underbite now is 4X worse. I really look ugly, and it's too late to retreat.
You can offend something (or hurt feelings) of something that doesn't exist because it DID IT EXIST AT ONE TIME!! It's not like anyone wants to erase those 20 years of their life.
But why erase ?, I dedicated the last decade to my career (and quite succeeded, probably because I didn't have distractions from the opposite sex). My career has got nothing to do with how I look (and so Crazybeautiful's). I acknowledge that I didn't look very good in the last decade, but I don't define my essence just through my looks.
Audra,
There's more to a person's attractiveness than just the physical. There is also personality, of which you appear to be sorely lacking. So, even if you do become more physically appealing, my bet is that whoever you attract is not going to stick around once they get the full impact of your narcissistic personality and judgmental characteristics. So good luck with that.
Lol Audra. Just a week ago my girlfriend said to me how ugly I look (making fun of course, after I pushed her a little bit). I told her if I'm so ugly why did you hit on me ? she replied because I'm not with you for your looks (sadly I'm not rich either).
I guess you can't really know someone enough from several posts on the internet, even if he's politically incorrect in some. Right ?
Crazybeautiful,
if you hate your underbite now, if someone tells you that yes they agree they think you look awful, I don't think it would make you feel any better about your underbite and your current situation.
My girlfriend tells me this from time to time. She is not quite kidding, she really thinks my underbite is ugly but this doesn't affect her love for me by one bit (she usually say this when I push her a little bit). She tells me that guys don't need to have a good looking face (which I told her I don't buy). I can tell you that the effect of what she say on me is zero. Who cares my underbite makes me look ugly ?, it's going to go away on July 19th...
She also told me that several years ago, when we were doing first degree (we were at the same faculty, but not friends then), people thought I looked sick (me being so thin, and maybe the underbite contributed to this), and that my haircut was horrible. I can't help but laugh, who cares ?, I'm not thin anymore, my haircut is nicer, soon I won't have an underbite. Don't see a point agonizing over the past. I didn't have a girlfriend in the last decade, but why should I care I have one now (and don't think this went unnoticed, it came to a point that my grandfather asked if I'm attracted to men, my grandfather !!!) . Some people who learned with me thought I looked sick back then, but why should I care I look very healthy now and was on the dean's list every year back then (probably a direct consequence of not having a romantic life).
Just because I'm post-surgery doesn't mean I have suddenly changed mentally, and that I can look back at myself and say 'God, what a minger I was! Thankfully at least only 19 years of my life have been a waste'
But why a waste ?, you are soon going to be a clinical psychologist, an awesome career and one that is very hard to get accepted to at least in my country. You also look very good today, and you're still very young. Your future is bright Crazybeautiful
Noam.
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