why do i still feel ugly

[shanalouis]

ever since i had surgery i've been recieving a lot of compliments, i mean a LOT. everyone is like you look so different, you're pretty, i love your hair etc etc. its starting to get annoying! i guess i'm not used to being called pretty because before surgery i always felt ugly and i still do. why do you think i still feel this way. its hard to accept compliments because i dont know if they are lying or not. how can i accept my new look without having to look in the mirror all the time? will i always feel ugly even though i look better? does anyone else feels this way?

[sarz]

I have read a lot of your comments and I think that you are giving yourself a hard time.
Please try to stop worrying. This surgery really is a big thing and affects us all differently. I know how you are feeling and I can't really offer you much advice on when you will stop feeling this way, - You might want to go and have a chat with your GP, I did and am getting help for the way I feel.
There is no shame in admitting to someone how bad we feel. There is always help available.
Best wishes to you - you can get through this

[thisisme]

Surgery doesn't change the way your brain works. You need counseling.

[trossi]

ever since i had surgery i've been recieving a lot of compliments, i mean a LOT. everyone is like you look so different, you're pretty, i love your hair etc etc. its starting to get annoying! i guess i'm not used to being called pretty because before surgery i always felt ugly and i still do. why do you think i still feel this way. its hard to accept compliments because i dont know if they are lying or not. how can i accept my new look without having to look in the mirror all the time? will i always feel ugly even though i look better? does anyone else feels this way?

Its a big change you went though, its really not your fault. You have to remember you will always be hardest on yourself. The most important thing is that you take every compliment to heart. People don't say things for no reason and chances are your face looks more proportional now. Take this as an opportunity to enjoy the new you! give it time and you will start to see the changes in the same light as all the people surrounding you.

[TheDude]

You may be over thinking the situation, as said people aren't going to tell you that you look great when they think you don't..just hang in there and you will start become happy with your new look

[shutmymouth]

I suggest picking up the book "Minding the Body"

It's a collection of essays written by women regarding the mental connection between their mind and their body. More specifically their vanity.

There is one essay that I remember discussed a young woman that had gone through life with a deformed face due to cancer as a young child. She had a large hole in the side of her cheek.

When she reach adulthood after a series of surgeries in her adulthood she was able to correct her deformity. Apparently she was somewhat attractive as well. When people approached her differently she was confused. In her mind's eye she still looked the same. She was suprised everytime she looked in the mirror.

What you are going through is perfectly normal. And until you get used to seeing the new you and the compliments you will continue to feel this way. I might discuss it with my doctor if I were you. While it is normal, there may come a point in time that if you still feel this way you will need counseling.

[Linnie]

I have read most of your postings lately, and I feel that I should tell you that you need counselling. I don't know the reasons why you had surgery in the first place, and I suppose that they were valid, but you do seem to have problems with self-esteem and self-image. Is it that you are too preoccupied with the way you look and that you will never be happy or is it BDD? I don't know, but there seems to be a problem that goes beyond the "jaw or teeth".

I realize that my post could be perceived as being too direct, but I do believe that there is a bigger issue at play here.

[shanalouis]

i guess you guys are right. i will do something about the problems i have.

[CaliforniaKid]

Surgery doesn't change the way your brain works. You need counseling.

this.