Family members that put a "downer" on your treatment?!

[oimysizex]

Title says it all! I'm really fed up of people asking if it's really necessary, especially my sister. It's making me feel bad and wondering do I even deserve nhs treatment has anyone else got really unsupportive family?
Whenever I bring the conversation up I just get ignored and get called stupid for wanting to go through with it?!

[loralei]

This is something we just face as a whole I'd say. Most of us have experienced this to some degree. TMJ is still something that most insurance won't cover and most doctors won't know what to do with, so most people aren't understanding of how much misaligned jaws can affect your life.

You know you're doing this for you, and even if it's for cosmetic>function, you should feel good about taking care of yourself. A misaligned bite will likely only cause problems later, as stress on muscles and teeth starts to show. I was told my a surgeon my case wasn't significant when I was a teen, and my new ortho has a whole list of problems he's noticed as a result. TMJ issues, chewing problems, open bite, tooth wear, muscle soreness/headaches....a misaligned bite causes all kinds of issues. These aren't things people can see, so of course many don't understand it.

I'm sorry your family is treating you that way, but rest assured you'll only receive support here.

[Anna5]

I am very sorry for you, oimysizex, that your family is so unsupportive.... I know how it feels, because as you know I have the same issue with my husband. I think you are very courageous to go with the surgery and you definitely need and deserve this surgery! We on archwired will all lovely support you and get you through!
Why is your sister against it? Maybe she doesn't mean bad, she may be afraid of seeing you in pain after surgery, or she may just find you beautiful the way you are?
Anyway, I send you lots of supporting hugs! When is your surgery exactly?

[urban]

I've dealt with a similar issue with my family initially. Most of it for me was just a misunderstanding of what orthognathic surgery was. A lot of my family members who dismissed it at first thought it was purely cosmetic and wasn't worth the money, time and pain.

It wasn't until I sat them down and explained to them that I have experience so much physical pain just eating along with other medical issues with my jaw that had begin to develop when they all started to understand.

Just follow your conscience and if you feel what you are doing is right, then that is what is more important. Your family members are only concerned for you.

[AquarianDragon]

My husband thought I was crazy. He said if it were up to him, he wouldn't do it. However, he's one of those people that feel surgery should be only done when absolutely necessary. He just worries about risks associated. He's the designated worrier in the relationship, lol! He was/is very good about helping me.

I work for vascular surgeons and have worked in emergency, so I'm keenly aware of the risks; I also know most surgeries have great outcomes. I also knew the post-op road could be hard.

I'm lucky to have my mom though. She understands where I was coming from; she had her mandible pushed back in 1975. She is so happy for me that my post-op experience has been much better than hers.

[kpw818]

So far I have not had this experience, but I know that I have read about others with similar situations. I'm not post-op yet, so I'm sure I will have some interesting comments from family/friends/coworkers afterwards. I know there is a general lack of understanding of the procedures and orthognathic surgery as a whole. I plan to share a few videos (animated, not actual surgery videos) of the procedure(s) near my op time. I think they are helpful.

[jaime]

Most people I've told have been supportive, but a few people have made remarks like, "Your teeth don't even look that bad!" or "Why are you going to all this trouble?!" I wish people would just keep those opinions to themselves.

[mameem]

I'm sorry You're going through that...mine fortunately are very supportive, and are encouraging me to do this.

[Alicia110613]

Unsupportive family? Sure! S.O., dad, mom, grandparents, bff, relative(s), you name it!

To be honest, I put off surgery for a few years because I felt like no one around me was supportive about it. In the end, I realize it's MY decision and I don't need everyone's approval. I did have a long discussion with my immediate family so they understand my reasoning for going through with the surgery, and they eventually somewhat came to terms with it. When I was getting nervous about my surgery date, my dad would make comments like "well just call the surgery off!" or "why are the doctors taking so many impressions, maybe they don't know what they're doing". I immediately told him he's being very hurtful, and described the long, painful orthodontic journey I went through in preparation of the surgery, and then he stopped.

My grandma even asked me to call off the surgery once she found out about it. I also have a relative who's an orthodontist, and who initially recommended against it as he doesn't think my case is "clinically severe" enough. Generally, your friends and family who are "unsupportive" just love you for who you are (and not what you look like), and probably think you're beautiful already. So don't be too upset about having unsupportive family members. In the end, if you're going through with this, you're the one who should be making the decision. You're also the one who has to live with the end results.

[mameem]

like I previously said, my family is pretty supportive, but I was just told the other day that my issues "aren't that bad"...and it does make me question my decisions..people need to stay supportive!