Hey Shinigami, I hope you'll find some consolation in my reply. I'm in a similar boat (also considering surgery) and I think you're not "mentally unwell". Form really is function. Just be really careful and do your due diligence when picking a surgery and a surgeon: unfortunately, in some cases both of these might be right choice, but not in combination (say when this type of surgery isn't this surgeon's forte).
Even the booklet "Seriously Handicapping Orthodontic Conditions", commissioned by no other than U.S. Army (and written by the Institute of Medicine), spends most of its pages on (psycho)social implications of these "Conditions".
Desperately seeking emotional support
Moderator: bbsadmin
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Nellyfizzle2
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 8:56 am
Re: Desperately seeking emotional support
[quote="Shinigami"]Hey, I know I'm 7 years late but on the off chance that you return to this post... I'm a 22 year old and I have the exact same problem... I have become a social recluse because of my jaw.. ( I have an underbite). it makes my chin disproportionately long for my face and makes my face look flat from profile view. I hate it so much and cant function because of it. I am getting jaw surgery but I am really curious as to whether the jaw surgery will help my confidence return or not. If it really is about the jaw or if I'm just mentally unwell. If anyone feels similar please please contact me.[/quote]
You're not alone! There are plenty of us out there. I go through periods where I obsess about it and then I literally feel physical discomfort to times when I'm too busy to even notice it! I know my condition may not be as dire as yours or maybe some of the others on the forum but I know about the depression and social issues. It is a real thing!
Very honestly I didn't notice people's jaw lines until recently, I think we focus so much on ourselves we assume others do too but they don't! Everyone's worried about themselves too much. Also if your jaw placement is incorrect that could have a domino effect on your overall health leading to possible hormonal imbalances or insuffienct oxygen intake? There are just so many reasons one could be struggling whilst living with a jaw imbalance. As long as you are taking steps forward to fix the situation, don't stress! We are all here with you.
You're not alone! There are plenty of us out there. I go through periods where I obsess about it and then I literally feel physical discomfort to times when I'm too busy to even notice it! I know my condition may not be as dire as yours or maybe some of the others on the forum but I know about the depression and social issues. It is a real thing!
Very honestly I didn't notice people's jaw lines until recently, I think we focus so much on ourselves we assume others do too but they don't! Everyone's worried about themselves too much. Also if your jaw placement is incorrect that could have a domino effect on your overall health leading to possible hormonal imbalances or insuffienct oxygen intake? There are just so many reasons one could be struggling whilst living with a jaw imbalance. As long as you are taking steps forward to fix the situation, don't stress! We are all here with you.
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dayeangphurr
- Posts: 87
- Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:49 am
Re: Desperately seeking emotional support
HI EVERYONE! I'm back again and pleasantly surprised to see that my post is still getting responses haha. Anyways, here is an update for anyone who actually cares and wants to know what's been going on with me since the last time I posted in 2013. Lets start off with: NO I STILL HAVE NOT GOTTEN JAW SURGERY AND I AM NOW 28. I wish I could've been like everyone else saving for a house or a wedding or something like that but I'm here trying to save for jaw surgery 
I was unemployed for the longest time and actually did not get a job until 2014 when I started working again at a minimum wage job up until 2016 in attempt to try to save up for surgery. And tbh, there was not much progress and I did not know what I expected when I was only getting $10/hr 
. I only managed to save a few grand and that was it. So by January 2017, I decided to return back to school to try to aim for a certificate in hopes to get a actual job that will actually help me speed up the process of saving up for surgery and that is my biggest obstacle atm. And as each year goes by, I just want jaw surgery more and more. The quality of my life still suck BIG TIME. And it's pretty difficult to try to enjoy life when I automatically feel self-conscious every single time I am out in public and then also hating looking at myself in the mirror when I'm at home. I stopped trying to confide in family members or friends about my whole thing about wanting jaw surgery because all I get is judgement so I just keep it to myself. I'm exhausted and am on a never ending rollercoaster atm. But I am determined and will make damn sure that I get the surgery because this is all I am living for rn haha. Anyways, I hope this post wasn't too depressing and I wish I could've updated you guys with something more positive but hey I just wanted to keep it real. Anyways, I'll see you guys again in the next few years I'll probably check back to this post just to read any new responses though 
I was unemployed for the longest time and actually did not get a job until 2014 when I started working again at a minimum wage job up until 2016 in attempt to try to save up for surgery. And tbh, there was not much progress and I did not know what I expected when I was only getting $10/hr . I only managed to save a few grand and that was it. So by January 2017, I decided to return back to school to try to aim for a certificate in hopes to get a actual job that will actually help me speed up the process of saving up for surgery and that is my biggest obstacle atm. And as each year goes by, I just want jaw surgery more and more. The quality of my life still suck BIG TIME. And it's pretty difficult to try to enjoy life when I automatically feel self-conscious every single time I am out in public and then also hating looking at myself in the mirror when I'm at home. I stopped trying to confide in family members or friends about my whole thing about wanting jaw surgery because all I get is judgement so I just keep it to myself. I'm exhausted and am on a never ending rollercoaster atm. But I am determined and will make damn sure that I get the surgery because this is all I am living for rn haha. Anyways, I hope this post wasn't too depressing and I wish I could've updated you guys with something more positive but hey I just wanted to keep it real. Anyways, I'll see you guys again in the next few years I'll probably check back to this post just to read any new responses though -
assertives
- Posts: 645
- Joined: Fri Sep 01, 2017 5:29 am
Re: Desperately seeking emotional support
Well, the tone of your post definitely sound alot less depressing than when you first started this thread. It's good that you have a clear plan and are working towards it. That really does help take the mind away from the downward spiral of depressive emotions I feel.
In the meantime while you are working towards saving for the surgery, you should also start working on your self esteem issues now. I can tell you from experience that such issues do not go away immediately even after you fix what was bothering you. It's a long process and it takes intentional effort. Plus, you can definitely enjoy life before getting jaw surgery.
Don't wait till after the surgery, because by then, you would realise that the better years of your youth have passed you by while you sat there obsessing with how you look. There REALLY is more to life than our looks, and 9 out of 10 times, people don't usually see the flaws that we beat ourselves up over.
Someone once told me, that if we don't like what we see in the mirror, then maybe we shouldn't look at the mirror.
In the meantime while you are working towards saving for the surgery, you should also start working on your self esteem issues now. I can tell you from experience that such issues do not go away immediately even after you fix what was bothering you. It's a long process and it takes intentional effort. Plus, you can definitely enjoy life before getting jaw surgery.
Don't wait till after the surgery, because by then, you would realise that the better years of your youth have passed you by while you sat there obsessing with how you look. There REALLY is more to life than our looks, and 9 out of 10 times, people don't usually see the flaws that we beat ourselves up over.
Someone once told me, that if we don't like what we see in the mirror, then maybe we shouldn't look at the mirror.
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dayeangphurr
- Posts: 87
- Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:49 am
Re: Desperately seeking emotional support
tbh all I am hoping after getting the surgery is to feel less self-conscious physically. but who knows how I'm going to feel afterwards. I might end up feeling worse for all I know like feeling more self conscious than I am now. but thats the risk I'm getting myself into by getting surgery and I won't know how I'll actually feel until after all that surgery and recovery is over. and noooooooooooo way in a million years do I ever think all of my self esteem issues would disappear after the surgery. do ppl actually believe that btw?? 
I am most def fixated on my looks and am f'ing over it because I just want to move on from it and YES THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN LOOKS. and that is what I am hoping that surgery will help me is to make it easier for me to move on because rn I am struggling so hard. and I agree that we do beat ourselves over our physical flaws that other ppl don't even "notice" because why in the world would they? ppl aren't going to invest a split sec of their time and energy to analyze those kind of things because its not even their problem, its ur problem. the only thing they'll do is not pay attention to u. simple as that.
I am most def fixated on my looks and am f'ing over it because I just want to move on from it and YES THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN LOOKS. and that is what I am hoping that surgery will help me is to make it easier for me to move on because rn I am struggling so hard. and I agree that we do beat ourselves over our physical flaws that other ppl don't even "notice" because why in the world would they? ppl aren't going to invest a split sec of their time and energy to analyze those kind of things because its not even their problem, its ur problem. the only thing they'll do is not pay attention to u. simple as that.