Wonder if my parents will think I look different

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#1 Post by **Lillers** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 10:00 am

Off to visit my folks for a few days, and they haven't seen me since fall. It'll be interesting to see if they notice any difference in my appearance post-BSSO. (My advancement was very slight, only about 2mm.) I won't have web access there, but I'll let you guys know next week.

#2 Post by **Brandyleigh35** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 10:21 am

Wow Lillers,
I didn't realize your lower advancement was so slight. How are you doing with the numbness and recovery? My dr says I will only need to be advanced about 4mm. I've been reading that smaller advancements are associated with less nerve aggravation and numbness issues so I'm just wondering what you have noticed, or if you are getting feeling back.

Thanks

Brandy

#3 Post by **Brandyleigh35** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 10:28 pm

Wow....not to sound mean, but sometimes I read yours and others post about parents that don't really show any interest in this whole journey, or husbands who think their wives are just being vain and doing all this for looks and I just feel sad. Sad that they are too self absorbed to really take an interest in the happenings of those they "supposedly" love. I mean I know this surgery is not like as hard/extreme as surgeries can be but it is a rather serious and complex procedure to have ones jaw surgically altered!

Sometimes it makes me feel very fortunate that I have a husband that is totally supportive of this...in fact it was him that led me down the path to fixing all this. My mom also lives with us and is planning to take good care of me. I know she will as her grandson was sick yesterday and she went to the store and made homemade chicken soup from scratch for him.

Anyway....not really going anywhere with this post, but I'm glad Meryten that your "mister" was there to take good care of you, since your mother clearly wasn't doing that job. I'm glad also that you have us to talk to....because we do care!

Brandy

#4 Post by **nimo** » Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:22 am

I kind of stumbled across this thread, and I have to say my parents share about the same lack of interest. My husband is very supportive, and concerned about my well-being and all that great stuff. For a while we were thinking my surgery would be this spring, and since my husband wouldn't be able to be here for it he offered to ask his mom to come and help take care of me. My parents are concerned about my well-being, but have never cared about my teeth. I told my mom I'm eventually having my jaw broken, and aside from asking when they're going to do it, she didn't show any interest (compared to both my grandmother and mother-in-law who both said they would come out and help take care of me as soon as I found out the date of the surgery).

I have no idea if my parents would have said anything if they hadn't seen me until after the surgery. They didn't know I had braces until I saw them almost a year after getting them, and the only thing my dad said was, "That's a smart move." Apparently he didn't think it would be such a "smart move" when I was in high school and the dentist was saying, "She really needed braces years ago." But that's a whole other topic, I suppose.

#5 Post by **fromjersey** » Fri Feb 09, 2007 7:35 am

If ever there was a thread I can relate to, it's this one. I first noticedClass II with severe retrognathia at age 7 and I was told at home that I was "crazy." But at same time I was told to "stop frowning" (this problem does often approximate a frown with deep naso-labial folds) or to smile, that I look better when I smile. That was true in my case, but who can spend 24 hours a day smiling?

I was also told to tolerate my jaws and teeth because others had done so and succeeded in life. In other words, it builds character to suffer. And when I show profile photos to some family members to this day, many decades later, I'm told "I never noticed anything." !!!

To me my family was responsible for never encouraging medical help for a problem that seriously affected my life. Sorry to harp on such a negative topic, but it's a painful truth.
Helen

#6 Post by **Lillers** » Tue Feb 13, 2007 10:13 am

Wow, guys â€“ I never would have imagined my post would elicit such responses.

I love my parents dearly, but must admit a few days of their company do go a long way. Anyway, it's good to be reminded once in a while that despite my mom's control-freakish tendencies and dad's apparent inability to stop talking for more than a minute I'm very lucky indeed to have such loving parents. They called relentlessly for about a month following my surgery, and they're actually proud of me for going through the whole braces/BSSO journey in order to keep my teeth in good health. (Or suffice it to say, in order to keep my teeth.)

BTW, right when they picked us up at the airport, my mom said (unprompted by me in any way) that my face looked better shaped and proportioned. Then she said I'd lost too much weight and proceeded to spend the next five days trying to fatten me up. Were it not for the snowshoeing and cross-country skiing, she would have succeeded, too!

#7 Post by **misskristen** » Tue Feb 13, 2007 8:42 pm

I'm so glad I stumbled across this topic. I'm estranged from my dad and stepmom - haven't spoken with them in a year. When I was 15 I thought I need braces (I was a Class III Malocclusion), but they told me I was crazy. They said to just suck in my chin and stop having such a long face. Wish I could!

Long story short, I finally got braces a year ago, and then had my upper and lower jaw surgery on January 31, 2007. I'm flying into my hometown next weekend to visit some friends. I wonder if I should stop by my parents' house and show off my new profile? It sounds terribly childish, I know. But I almost can't help it. For all the misery they put me through. They never even bothered calling even though they knew about the surgery because my half-brother told them. Some people shouldn't have become parents.

I'm documenting my braces/surgery experience at http://bracemyself.blogspot.com/. Check it out!

Kristen

#8 Post by **fromjersey** » Wed Feb 14, 2007 5:24 am

Kristen: I would stop by your parents' house. It's awful to be called crazy for being observant and sensitive. I got so tired of being told to "smile" to cover up my jaw deformity. I was only 7 years old!

I too was told to stop having a long face and to stop scowling. I know some will say not to be bitter, but I went through what you did and I understand. Boy do I understand! I don't think it's bitterness, but a matter of being very, very hurt by what parents do, or don't do.

On the side of parents--I do think sometimes poverty and denial colors parents' perceptions. It was during the Depression when I was young and there was no money for an orthodontist. I don't know about your case.
I couldn't open your blog spot. What can be done about this? I would like to see your photos.
Helen

#9 Post by **misskristen** » Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:44 am

Helen: thanks so much for your reply. We didn't have much money to spare. But what irks me the most is their insensitivity, and the fact that they never bothered calling. You're right. I will stop by their house and show them the new me.

My blog is at http://bracemyself.blogspot.com/, the URL is correct. Not sure what happened there. Alternatively, you could visit my profile page at http://www2.blogger.com/profile/07120613392255983425, then on the bottom of that page, click on "Brace Myself", under "blogs". OR, you could google the exact words "brace myself orthognathic", my blog should be the 3rd link that shows up, titled "Brace Myself".

Have a great day - and again, thanks for understanding. It's always helpful to hear from someone who's had similar experiences.

Kristen
http://bracemyself.blogspot.com/

#10 Post by **misskristen** » Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:53 am

Helen, another way to get to my blog is by visiting Brandy's blog at http://brandysjawjourney.blogspot.com/. On the right hand inside she has a list of links to her sugery buddies. Mine is the one titled "Kristen's Upper/Lower Jaw Surgery".

#11 Post by **fromjersey** » Wed Feb 14, 2007 9:20 am

Kristen: When you visit parents, it would be good to take the high road and show your strength and confidence. No preaching. Be calm and let them see how right you were in your decision.
Helen

#12 Post by **misskristen** » Wed Feb 14, 2007 9:22 am

Helen: Absolutely. I'm an adult now, no longer 15. It's time to act it.

#13 Post by **fromjersey** » Wed Feb 14, 2007 9:34 am

Kristen: Hurray! I was really just giving advice to myself because being strong and quiet is tough for me.
Please let us know how it goes.
Helen

#14 Post by **misskristen** » Wed Feb 14, 2007 9:39 am

Helen: Yes I'll keep you guys updated. I just e-mailed them my itinerary for next weekend. *gulp* We'll see how it goes.

Were you able to see my blog?

Kristen
http://bracemyself.blogspot.com/

#15 Post by **fromjersey** » Wed Feb 14, 2007 10:04 am

Kristen: Yes, saw it through Brandy's blog. Great to read. You got terrific results. Congratulations.
Helen

Metal Mouth Message Board

Wonder if my parents will think I look different

Wonder if my parents will think I look different

Families who hinder not help

Wow, I can relate!

I understand

Thanks Helen!

Another way to get to my blog

Right on

Could you see my blog?