Metal Mouth Message Board

In the last few days I've been feeling really sad about everything, which tends to trigger my worrying about my jaw. I have an overbite, and am on the NHS waiting list for surgery to fix it, although for a long time I have been going back and forth, wondering if it's the right thing to do or if I should just forget all about it. But there's only so many times I can go through these mini-crises and this time I've decided for good that I am going to go through with it.

The problem is that I just feel like I'm being so selfish and vain and stupid. Getting braces is going to mess up all sorts of things for me - I was supposed to be going travelling after uni with friends but I can't do that. I've also always wanted to study singing, but I wouldn't feel happy doing that while I have all sorts of things going on with my teeth and the structure of my mouth. The other option was to work abroad, as my degree is in languages and it's what I always sort of saw myself doing (the "sensible" back up plan) which is ever so slightly more plausible but won't really happen. I've always been very ambitious and want to do a million things with my life, and I'm basically going to have to put everything on hold while I get this all out of the way.

This makes me sad enough, but I just can't over the fact that everyone (well, my family, as they're the only ones who really know much about it) thinks I'm just being a bit "daft", as my mother put it. Don't know if that's an American word or just British, but it basically means a bit stupid and air-headed, as if you're not thinking things through properly. I had a long conversation with my Dad tonight and told him I had decided to go for it and he said

"You are big girl now and if you want to go ahead tht is your decision and we will support that because we understand it is very important to you. No matter how much we talk you will not convince me that surgery is necessary. Equally I realise that is not your view and I will respect your decision and do all I can to support you."

I suppose I should be happy that he is going to support me, but why can nobody understand how I feel and that it IS necessary? I'm sick and tired of not having the correct bite and going over and over it in my head and worrying what'll happen if I don't fix it and just basically feeling like a freak. My family just think I'm stupid for giving up all these great opportunities but if it wasn't such a big deal to me I wouldn't consider giving them up for a second.

I also have a question about upper jaw surgery. When I went for my consultation, my surgeon pointed out that my upper jaw is slightly too far down, which means I show some gum when I smile. Now I'm talking a really, really small amount here, but in the surgeon's words "it's not a big deal or a problem but if we're going to start messing around with the jaws then we might as well just do the whole lot and get it completely perfect". However I keep reading that upper jaw surgery makes things a lot more complicated, causes longer recovery times and increases swelling and pain. Aside from that, I'm keen to steer clear of anything that is entirely cosmetic, because I don't agree with it. Can anyone offer any advice?

All in all I just can't wait for the whole thing to be over. This has caused me so much misery over the last decade and never for a second did I think when I was first referred at 13 that I would still be getting upset and crying about it when I was 21. Only another three years to go...

'A bit daft'....wish my family put things so gently. I understand just how you feel as my family isn't understanding my situation any better than yours is. The big difference between you and me is that I am married with a family of my own, so it is much eaiser to ignore them This is a defining moment in your life - you are standing up for what you know is right for you. That is very difficult for many of us to do, especialy when you are young.

Now as to the timing. There is never a good time to try to work something like this in. Work, school, kids, travel, pregnancy, moving.....the list is endless. I do believe there is a way to do it all, but some compromises will most likely be necessary. If you want to travel with your friends when you graduate - do it! Ok, maybe you will have to come home every two months for an adjustment, and put up with pokey wires, or wait till you get back to start the process. The point is that your life does not have to be put on hold for this. You want to work abroad - there are a lot of good orthodontists around the world that can get you started. Don't make any rash decisions untill you have a chance to really hash things out with your doctors.

NOw as to your question about the upper surgery. I may not be a good person to answer this as there is much debate between my ortho and OS aobut the exact same matter - a little bit of gum showing (among other details) - the ortho says YES and the OS says NO ( he thinks it has an ageing effect). If it is a question of having upper JUST to reduce a tiny bit of gum....I would probably vote no. Double surgery is harder to recover from and if it doesn't bother you then why go through it? I think you will find that surgery plans have a way of changing the closer you get to your date, so don't even let that worry you at this point.

I wish you the best of luck, and remember that there is an entire board full of people here who are just as daft as you are and proud of it!

I am in the same boat as you. I am completely self conscience about my teeth and bite as well, it's agonizing. No one in my family can feel the pain that I have about it. I have decided for myself that I am going to do what makes me happy and benefits my life, regardless of what others may say.

As for upper jaw surgery, my OS explained it to me that initially maxilla recovery is a little worse but when it heals, after about 3 months, it is back to as strong as it was before. (if it breaks after three months then it would have broken before). Essentially, once it is healed, it is healed. Unlike lower Jaw where you can have a numb chin for about a year, maybe a little longer.

Hi there Angelcake,

I am a 38 year old female and will shortly be having braces fitted, with the ultimate plan of definitely upper, but possibly upper and lower jaw surgery to correct an underbite.

My family are very supportive but do not feel that I should be putting myself through this. I have tried to explain how I feel about my bite and the way I look and they try to understand, but friends and family just get used to the way you are and do not see the imperfections that you see. They probably feel that it is unecessary to put yourself through years of braces and then a fairly major operation to change a face that they know and love.
I have been married for 6 years and only spoke to my husband about my unhappiness about my teeth when I decided to see a consultant (1 year ago) until that point, he was totally unaware of how I felt, partly because I didn't want to highlight to him what I didn't like.

It seems that you keep coming back to the decision of going ahead with the treatment - this obviously proves that when you have decided against it in the past you are unhappy enough to have a rethink. All I can say is that I wish I had done this years ago - the operation is much better when you are younger and you have the whole of your life ahead of you.

I have had the opportunity to get this looked into years ago, but fear of an operation scared me off - how I regret it now - If you feel as unhappy with your teeth/bite now as you sound, then I really think you should do it.
I know it is very very scary, but read this forum for other peoples experiences and look at the after pictures - it really is life changing stuff!

I think that if you have the opportunity and the desire to go ahead now, then you should do it. Yes it is inconvenient at the moment and it will change a lot of your plans, but you can travel anytime - by making yourself feel more confident about your smile/appearance the future will no doubt hold many more opportunities.

You obviously feel very unhappy with your teeth situation and you even say it has caused you 'misery' over the last decade. Don't allow the non support of your family to stop you doing this - they will come round to the idea, this is your life and your decision.

Hope this helps
Happysmiler

Hi sorry to hear your parents arent 100 % commited to doing this than what you are-just remember its your mouth-your teeth-so it affects you a hell of alot more.I also have an overbite and have been in braces for 2 months-somewhere down the line i will be having lower jaw surgery to align my jaw correctly. im married with children but my parents still added their input saying i should go for braces not surgery.I came to the conclusion that they are just worried as they obviously find my teeth no issue they pressume i shouldnt either
Braces are an inconvience but not that much..they shouldnt stop you from living your dreams!olks will sayIn a few years all will be done and i bet you that your folks will say how much better you look!GOOD LUCK

I understand what your going through angelcake, Iam exactly the same, theres so much I want to do, Take acting classes, join toastmasters (public speaking club), go on holiday with friends and alot of other things, but I feel like ive got to get this out the way first, and I feel like its taking 2 years out of my life, because I cant do the things I want to.

When I complain about my jaw and things, my family just shrug it off, as if iam complaining about a little inconvenience.
But I Just remember that in the end, its down to me, and when its all over, I can look back and think of how brave I was that I went through with it all on my own, and how it made me a stronger person for going through it all.

If you think about it, life is all about learning, and we are learning about something that most other people wont ever go through.

Hi there

im in the Uk too and no how frustrating it can be to wait for braces on the NHS, yes we are very lucky we dont have to pay, but the wait is a big pain.

Ive had my braces on for nearly 9 months now (out of 3 years total time) and am due for double jaw surgery in the autumn.

My mum has been very supportive although when it came down to it she said i had to make my own mind up and not be influenced by other people as it was me and no-one else who would have to go through with it all. My long term boyfriend of 9 years tho hasnt been exactly helpful, my operation is medically necessary due to problems with an infection in my jaw bone a few years ago, so i didnt really have a huge choice and the braces were necessary due to a very severe overbite, but still my boyfriend seems to think im mad to put myself tho this. (i like to tell myself this is because he doesnt want to see someone he loves in discomfort etc, which may be the same for your family)

As far as travelling is concerned you can still go, sure it might mean coming home more frequently then you planned or cutting the trip short, but isnt that better than not going at all? Im off to Peru this summer for 6 weeks and im determined my braces arent going to effect this at all, in fact this was my treat to myself for the operation afterwards.

Please, please try not to let this get you down, the waiting will be over one day and the hospital will call to tell you to come in for the first appointment. I know its hard, i had to wait nealry 2 and half years between being told i needed braces and getting them fitted. (this was due partly to my nhs trust and partly to the fact as my case was so complicated i needed to be seen by the head consultant orthodontist and not one of the others at the hospital) but the time will come!

In the meantime be 100% sure this is what you want, tho it sounds like youve made up your mind. And enjoy eating lots of chocolate and hard foods!

Hope that helps.

Thanks for all the replies, they have been so helpful. I am finally starting to feel a little better about the whole thing which is nice! Unfortunately I know that to some extent this is going to affect my plans. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I will be putting my life on hold for my first year after uni, just moving home and getting a job to save for all the things I want to do after the treatment is over. I've been waiting for years to go travelling, but I think I'll put it off until everything is out of the way, because I know I'll just enjoy it a whole lot more. I don't really want the hassle of flying back for appointments and adjustments, I'd rather wait til I'm free to go where I want, whenever I want. Guess I can even use the money I've saved to perhaps make the whole surgery thing a little easier - perhaps to pay to get clear braces or even lingual braces so I don't feel so self-conscious.

Some people on this board are so positive about the whole thing, I think it's amazing and very admirable. I still burst into tears every time I even think about it or anything to do with my teeth or jaw (I had to go to an oral surgeon a while ago about getting my wisdom teeth out and cried as soon as I walked in the door - that was quite embarrassing!) It's a case of getting the best of a bad situation, either this bothers me for my whole life or I just get it over and done with now.

So that's my decision made.

Loads of sage advice above, but here are a couple of tidbits from my experience that may make you feel better too:

• At your age I couldn't afford travel or braces, but I went to uni, partied like a fiend and generally enjoyed my life

• Started to travel later in life, only to discover travel is awesome at any age

• Got braces and jaw surgery later in life, only to discover that, while not excactly big fun, these things weren't nearly as bad as I'd anticipated they would be

So, I guess the point is, you've got all kinds of options. Chances are fair you can do everything you want to do -- it's just a matter of figuring out the best timing for all of it. Good luck to you!

Hey Angelcake
I understand what you're going through. I was on the NHS waiting list for about 8 years before my treatment really began.

I know it's difficult when you've got ideas into your head about things you wana do in life but we're lucky enough to have the option to do something about whilst we're still young. Some people, as you've probably read, didn't get this oppotunity until they were a lot older and then had to pay for it.

I'm lucky i have the full support of my husband and mum so it helps me to deal with it a lot easier. But overall this is you're decision and you have the support of your dad so just do what you feel is right!

And you're not being vain or stupid or selfish for that matter. This is something a lot of people go through and it doesn't mean it has to mess up plans you have. Like Meryaten said, you're not putting life on hold, just taking time out.
You can always pick up where you left off once it's all done. Don't beat yourself up about it, this will change your life for the better. Just keep thinking positively and remember it's a decision you feel is right for you!

Good luck with it all, there are loads of people here who can help with any questions or worries you may have.

Take care, be happy
Beth x

Hi angelcake

Hope your feeling abit better.

I really do understand where your coming from, but you have to try and look at this positively,its a very small proportion of your life were talking about. I decided early on before getting braces that i could either spend the next three years of my life unhappy or just make the best of it.

On a daily basis you really wont notice your braces, sure it takes a couple of weeks intially but then they just become part of you. Ok so it makes abit longer to brush your teeth and eating can be abit of a nitemare at times but thats it.

I know alot of us seem to have a very positive attitude, but my view is whats the point in not? Im the first to admit when it becomes closer to my operation ill be terrifed, im not ashamed to admit it, but im a few months off yet and not going to waste the next few months worrying myself about something i have no real control over.

Please, please try to cheer up, your make it alot harder for yourself if you dont.

Hi Meryaton, thanks for the compliment.

Hey angelcake,

reading your 1st post was like reading about my own life and thoughts,
im 30, and had lower jaw surgery 3 weeks ago, to correct a servere overbite

at the age of 13 I was told i by my ortho i would need surgery to correct my overbite and i was encouraged by him to forget this option and live with it.
which i did, but 15 odd years later i still hated my smile, and finally realized i wasnt going to live with it! no matter what anyone thought, including my friends, family and boyfriend, who, once i decided i was going to do this, all gave me the same reaction of.... "why are you doing this? you look fine as you are" i think its true no one sees you the way you see you, and at the end of the day you have to feel comfortable in your own skin.

at the age of 28 i went back to the same ortho id seen 15 years earlier, and told him i wanted surgery. ive been wearing braces for 2 years now, and as i say ive just had surgery, i havent been thinking about much else over the last few months, but it was no where near as scary as i thought it was going to be, and i am recovering really well, and am so proud of myself for doing it.

i was meant to have upper jaw surgery too, but the braces did such a good job, the doctors told me a couple of months ago this was no longer necessary, but... i was then told i might end up with a bit of a gummy smile, and if i wanted this fixed i could, i was stunned! after a life time of hating my teeth because of the goofyness, i had never thought i had a gummy smile! i rejected the offer, because firstly i dont think i have a gummy smile, and secondly thats cosmetic crap.... no!

if you want to read about my experience, check out my story on Our Braces Stories forum, and you can see pictures too,

if i can give you two pieces of advice, i would say have the surgery! i LOVE the way my teeth line up now, and i have no regrets, and secondly as others have said here, keep a positive attitude! its not going to hold you back as much as you think it is - really!
you will come out of this experience stronger and braver, and happyer

good luck with your decision x

i too have some family memebers that think i am being vain to do all this at "my age" 32. I just got braced and in Jan 2008 will have my 4 wisdom teeth pulled and then 6 months later both my upper and lower jaw fixed. I also have a gummy smile and will see a Periodontist in June to see if he can laser some of the gum to help the surgeon decide where to sit my upper jaw. Once I was told that i need both braces and surgery I totally freaked out and cancelled all my appointments. I just wanted straight teeth, not surgery. Until, the deciding picture. My dad took a pic of me from the side holding my nephew and what a shock. I really have no chin profile. WOW why had no one ever told me that. YUCK!!!!! So I rebooked all my appointments and am now a week into braces. Nervous about the rest of the stuff that needs to be done but excited about what the end result will be. The surgeon also told me that the icing on the cake would be to have a chin implant. I think that is a little extreme. I think that the jaw being fixed is enough. The chin implant costs$2500 the rest of the surgery is covered by our provincial health plan.
Scared....YES BIG TIME but think it will all be worth it in the end.
My family not understanding....upsetting but I sometimes have to do things just for me......