Mixed opinions from friends..

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#1 Post by **dubnobass** » Thu Aug 02, 2007 1:31 am

Have any of your friends said they thought what you were doing for the sake of your teeth was a bit crazy? When I tell people I'm having jaw surgery, they always asked "why, what's wrong?", and boggle a bit when I tell them it's just to get my teeth to match up again, and to correct my assymetrical jaw.

I have had mixed opinions from just about everyone. My parents and one of my best friends know why I'm going through braces + surgery.. but they've said they don't understand why I'm putting myself through it. My husband is being very supportive and thinks it's been good for me.. colleagues at work mostly recoil in horror. One of my dad's mates verged on anger (at me) that I'd be going through major surgery just to have straight teeth. My sister is jealous. My brother is now thinking about having treatment himself..

A really mixed bag.

Maybe this is due to different perceptions about the need for nice teeth. The "big book of British teeth" in the Simpsons isn't that much of an exaggeration and whilst braces and a desire for 'Hollywood teeth' seems to be on the up in this country, most people aren't that bothered. Even I wasn't that bothered. I could eat OK and had no jaw problems, but just had crooked teeth, which I hated showing so always covered my mouth when I laughed and never smiled in photos. I could live with my (disliked) crooked teeth and didn't decide on treatment until it was offered to me free of charge. I'm not even all that bothered about my appearance now and am neither looking forward nor dreading my new appearance - it's just something else to accept as part of my treatment.

Would you have gone through all this just for straight teeth, and if you had a perfectly functional bite and no very obvious facial deformity?

I don't have any regrets. I just wonder if others would have done all this if they had the same 'problems' as me.

#2 Post by **Kerry** » Thu Aug 02, 2007 1:50 am

people just say im fine as i am but they dont really understand so just leave me to it.

I try not to speak to people about it because i know its what i want and dont need peoples opionions good or bad.

I just want my friends and family to be there for me once done

Hopefully i can get the wheels in motion soon as i am not even braced yet, i want to make sure i can have surgery on the nhs before i start arranging for teeth to be pulled out

#3 Post by **thenumber12** » Thu Aug 02, 2007 2:57 am

I think it's all pretty subjective. Every individual is different in thought or manner. Personally, I doubt surgery would have come across my mind. But if I got braces and then surgery was suggested as the means to correct something, most likely a yes.

If you wanted it and went for it, by all means, more power to you.

#4 Post by **Shae** » Thu Aug 02, 2007 4:37 am

I think it's just the notion of "surgery" and the connotations that come with it. Having been through it myself (BSSO), I don't necessarily think that it's actually that big of a deal.

#5 Post by **Columbo** » Thu Aug 02, 2007 7:03 am

My friends and family all say I'm fine as I am and they cant see what I'm bothered about but I think it's more a case of them being used to the way I look. If I looked ok they wouldnt have affectionately nicknamed me Buzz Lightyear.

#6 Post by **HighandLo** » Thu Aug 02, 2007 7:31 am

I'm kinda like you, dubnobass. My husband was worried about the surgery and my family asked me why I was doing it. I suspect that they really didn't see the asymmetry because they were just used to how I looked. But, I have been told about this jaw problem by dentists for over 20 years before I finally had it fixed!

My teeth were straight, though. I had braces years ago, but that didn't correct my bite. Since my teeth were biting down in a crossbite, it was wearing my teeth unevenly. Mainly, I hoped the surgery help relieve my chronic headaches - and it has! I used to wake up - every day - with a headache. I was clenching my jaw and the muscles were pulling on my face unevenly.

Basically, since my insurance paid for it and yours apparently does, there must be something medically wrong with our bone structure or they would no way pay that much money! It took me awhile to decide to get surgery, but I figured I was wasting valuable time thinking about it and might as well get it over with and get on with my life. It's been 5 weeks and I'm glad I did it!

Best wishes,

Lo

#7 Post by **ohmyjaw** » Thu Aug 02, 2007 10:09 am

My primary motivation for doing this is getting straight teeth. I had a poor bite which was causing too much wear on my teeth, but I doubt that that in itself would have been enough to make me do all this. I have never had any pain or headaches, and the asymmetry I had was so slight - hardly noticeable.

Most of my friends, coworkers, etc. have been supportive. A couple of them have had it done themselves, and some folks know friends or family that have had it done, so they are familiar with the surgery. My family was a bit different. My mom was a bit concerned, but now she is fine. I think she was floored when she saw how good my teeth looked, and then she understood why I did this. My father, however, thought I was nuts for doing it. Oh well, you can't please everyone! I would have done the surgery in any case, even if everyone else objected, and even if I had a proper bite and all. I couldn't live with my teeth anymore. It was affecting my social life and how I interacted with other people.

#8 Post by **iBorg** » Thu Aug 02, 2007 10:41 am

I'm sure some members of my family think I'm a bit daft for doing this. My Mum used to say I had wonderful teeth although I couldn't see them well enough to tell. My wife for the most part has been supportive. I think she agrees with me that if this helps the grinding and the headaches itâ€™s a good thing. My sinuses stay a bit of a mess and this should help that also.

On a personal point, I know I've been self conscious about not having any teeth show when I smile or talk. Now they show when I smile and they look natural, not forced. Maybe when we're done they'll show when I talk. I have a preconception that people look at my lack of smiling as an unpleasant person. Hopefully that will end when I'm closer to brace free.

Mike

#9 Post by **loulou123** » Thu Aug 02, 2007 5:25 pm

hi there

i can relate with the friends and family being a mixed bag of opinions. My position is slightly different in that tho there will be a huge cosmetic improvment afterwards, the main reason for me having this done is a medical one. Would i have had it done for cosmetic reasons proberly not (more to do with the cost than anything) but everyones different.

My mums a fantastic support, but some of my friends are very much of the opinion that i must be abit crazy to put myself through all this. Think its as said above, teeth in this country are not such a big deal as in the US so people cant understand if your not happy with them.

#10 Post by **Renden** » Thu Aug 02, 2007 10:14 pm

I'll be discussing the surgery with my new (kind of) girlfriend next week...should be awkward!

meh 2-3 weeks away from her shall give me some peace :p

#11 Post by **freerideuk** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 3:14 am

hmmm renden you need to tell me how that conversation goes

as i have been a bit scared getting involved with anyone before i get the opp as i thought it would be a bit hard to explain plus i find it difficult to talk bout my underbite

no one like to point out there flaws

xxxx

#12 Post by **dubnobass** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:25 am

Thanks very much for all your comments. Good to know I'm not the only one who gets raised eyebrows.

#13 Post by **Renden** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:36 pm

I know how you feel, freeride. I've been purposely distancing myself away from girls I've met at nights out etc for a few months now to avoid this situation. But this girl I've met seems to be different from most of the usual generic girls around here so I've decided to stick around.

If she decides to stick around while i go through recovery then fine, but if she doesn't I'll get over it, lol.

#14 Post by **TownAndGown** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 3:27 pm

Everyone I tell about my surgery says that they have never noticed any problem with my jaw (even though one side is 4cm longer than the other. I wish I could believe them - even my closest friends say they've never noticed. I think that the people who know and love you best only see your personality and your face is secondary to that.

As for dating, I've been waiting on the NHS since 1999 for this. (While they wait to see how many more cm's it will grow!). I've been fending off men left, right, and centre because I think that any man who would put up with what I'm going through, must be a bit sad.

What can you do!?

#15 Post by **Renden** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 7:09 pm

What do you mean by that, TownandGown?

You can be back to normal activities within 2-3 weeks, which isn't a long time.