Dumped and feeling low about braces

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#1 Post by **KELLYW123** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 10:30 am

I got braced in March 2007 and am due to get surgery later this year. When I began this process I had been with my partner for five years and he was very supportive.

However in September 2007 he dumped me and I later found out he had been cheating on me for a long time with numerous women. I now feel really insecure about my braces and I realise my self esteem is low but I really feel hideous.

Im also relly scared about having surgery as my ex-partner was meant to be looking after me afterwards. He's the only person I'd ever been able to talk to abou how much I hate my teeth and now I feel so isolated.

Sorry if this isnt the right place to look to for support. I was fine when I got them on but now I'm single I wish I'd never started.

#2 Post by **ohmyjaw** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:04 am

Well, I've been through a couple of break-ups since I got my braces (way back in Sept. 2005). It sucks, and the only real cure for it is time.

Do you have any friends or family members that could help you through the surgery?

Even though you're having a rough patch right now, I'm sure that when you're all done and you have your new smile, you'll be glad you did it. Don't quit now.

Also, if you're having some major self-esteem issues, have you considered getting some counselling?

#3 Post by **sweetpea** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 2:06 pm

So sorry to hear how you're feeling. I promise it will get better in time.

You are so close, ohmyjaw is right. Perhaps you can find someone to lean on and talk to until it's over.

Everyone does things differently, but I gave up on dating all together, and got a great deal of strength from within myself, and from friends.

You will look back on this time as history one day.

#4 Post by **badbite** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 5:14 pm

KELLYW123,

I am sorry to hear about your breakup. Doesn't sound like someone you should be with, but I understand it hurts all the same.

When you are finished with your new smile, you will be so confident and glad you started this. Please don't back out now.

#5 Post by **lauren321** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 6:09 pm

I felt really self-conscious and crappy about myself when I got braced a few weeks ago. Just keep thinking about that end result... you will be unstoppable then

#6 Post by **shani** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 1:28 am

Kellyw123, i know how you feel, i broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years just before sarpe surgery and just found out that he had been cheating on me for quite a while, and now, 2 years down the track he is just about to get married to the girl that he split up with me for. i took the break up as a real nock and havnt considered dating again and have decided for me that i would wait until my braces came off - only another 4 or so months now. i totally wasnt ready for having anyone in my life for a long time because i was too hurt but since my jaw surgery i have realised that i just dont have the energy to put in, i do think i could tackle kissing with elastics and numb lips and have realised that with all the migraines ive had lately - i wouldnt be a particularly plesant person to date! instead i have moved in with my folks at times post surgery and leaned on my best mate, there are other options out there - it just takes a while to change the plans that you had in your head, if you find someone else you will be supprised at how good they feel to be needed. good luck, chin up & eventually you'll feel better

#7 Post by **simplywired** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 11:53 am

Hi Kelly - I doubt if there is anyone on this board or anywhere else who hasn't had a break-up that hurt. The good news is anyone going through the whole braces and/or surgery routine already is doing something for themselves inspite of the fact that they are temporarily uncomfortable and not "looking" their best.

So by design we already have more self-esteem than the next guy because we are doing this for ourselves and nobody else! I'm very proud to be in their number and proud of you. Partners come and go but your health and you are always with you. You're way ahead of the game and I wish you the best!

#8 Post by **sweetpea** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 1:59 pm

Simplywired

Your comment:

"So by design we already have more self-esteem than the next guy because we are doing this for ourselves and nobody else! I'm very proud to be in their number"

really touched me. You are so right. I'm feeling quite proud of myself now!

#9 Post by **simplywired** » Sat Jan 26, 2008 10:10 am

You should be proud Sweetpea! I was thinking about the difference between orthognathic procedures and say cosmetic procedures. The difference is what I was trying to convey. We could go in and have a face lift, eye lift, tummy tuck or whatever and after a couple weeks emerge with new looks - but we have done nothing really for our general health.

With braces and orth. surgery you really do sacrifice time and vanity plus it can't be hidden. I've had people say "good for you" because they get that we are going the extra mile for our health and well-being and at some sacrifice. So good for us!

#10 Post by **Seaholly** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 7:56 pm

First and formost: His cheating had nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. It was his mistake to let someone like you go.

Second: The surgury is for you. When it's over and you see how much healthier you are you'll be glad he's not around to hold you back. Focus on being a better you. I love the way I look now. I can't wait to be finished in a year and start flashing the best smile of my life.

I know about hating your teeth. So, stop hating and focus on the amazing positive things your doing to correct it.

I had a relationship like yours and felt it was my fault he did what he did. One day I realized if he was as unhappy he said he should have told me and not gone off and cheated on me.

Like the rest of us, you'll heal and move on. Sweatpea has it perfectly right. In the end all this is just for us to make ourselves happier and healthier.

#11 Post by **HighandLo** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 8:19 am

Hi Kelly,

I'm sorry to hear of your pain about the breakup, but at the same time, I'm glad you found out what kind of person your ex was, sooner rather than later. It sounds like HE is the one with an insecurity problem. Serial-cheaters are pretty low, in my book.

But, nothing stays the same, the sun does come out one day and you forget the past unhappiness. And you'll have a bright smile to go with your better life!

Lo

#12 Post by **KELLYW123** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 8:37 am

Hey thanks to everyone for your support. Im feeling better already and the comments have really helped xxxx