Ungrateful?

Message

#1 Post by **goldfish** » Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:09 am

Hi. I'm in braces for 2nd time in my life and was told at the start of the treatment that I would need double jaw surgery to correct my open-bite and overjet. At the time I was unsure about this as it sounded very traumatic. My ortho suggested using TADs instead, to see how far we could get with those and that we could discuss surgery again at a later date. I was more than happy with this, as I am very indecisive and liked the option of having more time to think about things.

Well that was over 6 months ago and the progress made has been very impressive. At my appointment today I was told that jaw surgery was no longer necessary. No discussion. I wasn't really surprised as it had already occured to me that as my overjet had improved so much they would have no room to move my jaw.

I know that I should feel really happy with this outcome and be really thankful for the new technology which has made this possible...but I just don't. Infact far from it - I cried all the way back to work. I had kidded myself that all I cared about was the function of my teeth being corrected, but now I realise (too late) that I really did want that improved jawline. I went for photos today and the guy showed me my profile on screen. I felt like crying there and then. The sloping neck, receded chin, it is all going to stay like that and I am never going to have the chance to look any better. There is no way in hell I could afford private treatment (am currently NHS). I feel totally miserable.

I know this is ungrateful and there are people out there with far worse problems, etc etc, but I feel like I had my choice in the treatment completely taken away and now there is nothing I can do about it.
To top it off, my appointment overan by so long today that I got a Â£50 parking ticket. Great.
Anyway, moan over. Thanks for listening.

#2 Post by **sauerkraut** » Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:12 pm

I'm sorry I have no wise and comforting words for you, but I couldn't let this post go unanswered. I hope you're starting to feel a little better now. Did you tell your ortho how you feel? Maybe something could yet be done? But you know, double jaw surgery is pretty major, and not everyone is always satisfied with the results of that either. Please don't beat yourself up about feeling ungrateful. Perhaps you just need a bit of time to help get things into perspective again. Maybe this whole thing has made you so much more aware of your appearance that you can only focus on what you see as defects at the moment. But you're still you, and a straight-toothed you with minimal overjet at that! I would suggest trying for another appointment with the ortho to discuss everything again, and meanwhile I hope you've got a good friend or family member to give you lots of TLC. Or come back here and vent as much as you like.

All the best to you. (This site needs a hugzz icon!!)

#3 Post by **2bpositive** » Sun Dec 06, 2009 7:12 pm

I agree with everything Sauerkraut said. You just might need some more time and to remember what it was that you really wanted.

I do have to say I am amazed on how fast TAD's worked for you. Wow, and without the surgery. I had the double Jaw surgery and it is a big deal with a long recovery.

#4 Post by **Noam** » Mon Dec 07, 2009 6:54 am

Not sure about your neck complaint, but If you have receded chin why won't you consider genioplasty ?, shoudn't cost too much...

#5 Post by **goldfish** » Mon Dec 07, 2009 2:03 pm

Ah thanks for replying Sauerkraut, was feeling a bit unloved! And thanks to you all for the comforting words. After having major melt-down on the evening of the appointment, I got a good night's sleep and began to feel ever so slightly better.

It's true, I probably am more fixated on my looks than I ever was before starting treatment, and I'm desperately trying to gain some perspective. I have a beautiful little girl who really needs a mummy with her head together - so that is what I have to be. I will work hard on losing a few pounds and trying to make my neck look better (although not sure it will work as I used to be dead skinny and still had a flabby neck).

At my next appointment, I will ask if there's anything else that can be done on NHS to solve this issues. If they say no, I will have to start saving like mad in the hope that one day I will have the option of going private (although I hope that by then I will have got over myself and accepted my lot in life!).

Thanks for listening, oh and parking ticket turned out to be just Â£25!

Goldfish
xxx

#6 Post by **descantus** » Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:31 am

Hi Goldfish,

Just wanted to reiterate what the others have said, and to add that you shouldn't beat yourself up about the decision you made regarding surgery as it's a terribly difficult choice to make.

Deciding to go ahead with surgery brings with it lots of other traumas and is a really big deal, i'm weeks away from my operation and it certainly seems to have taken over my life somewhat. So maybe it's been for the best that you don't have to deal with any of those hassles right now.

I'm sure your orthodontist will be able to come up with something and you'll be able to make the right decision in your own good time