Reasons Why I'm Going For The Surgery W/out My Parent's Help

[dayeangphurr]

Funny how much a jaw deformity can affect one's entire life isn't it?

Oh, just to let you know, I'm just expressing my feelings, kind of like me venting... sort of. And a little 'bout myself, I have an overbite.

When I was in the fifth grade, I always remembered a particular activity my teacher had the entire participate in. I don't know what the educational objective of it was, but my teacher made each student stand side ways against the wall with a projector aiming right us as it casted our shadows. Then one of our classmates would trace the shadow revealing the shape of our profile view. Afterwards, the entire class would one-by-one identify each profile image of their classmates. I'm not sure if what I'm describing makes any sense, but when I saw the outline of my profile, I vividly remembered asking myself why does my profile look strange or unusual. Something didn't look right, but I couldn't figure it out.

This curiosity of mines had occurred once again during my eighth grade graduation. I was lining up before I got onto the stage to obtain my diploma, and since my profile was facing the audience, my dad had taken pictures of me. And of course I looked through all the pictures taken during that day and stumbled on that specific image where my profile was facing the audience. And i wonder to myself the same thing I wondered when I was in the fifth grade. Why do I look so strange compared to all the other kids standing next to me?

The reasons why I'm going for the surgery without my parent's assistance and why I want the surgery is for pride, confidence, independence, a social life, a love life, a life in general, my career, and my future. This past year, I have noticed the slight changes of my life(for the worse I must say). Humans are social beings and I can't live my life hiding from the world for the rest of my life. I just turned twenty one, and I have a whole lot to accomplish. I'm so sick and tired of having to push my jaw forward and hold it for the whole entire day, let alone talk to others. It's quite tiring.

Well I'm cutting this post a little shorter than I intended. I still have a lot to say, but I don't want to write too long as I know people don't like to read extremely long posts. I apologize for the lack of details to my reasons. But please feel free to respond. I would really like to talk to somebody, that would be nice.

[candycin]

Congrats to you for being so brave!! i am 35 years old and had braces put on 2.5 years ago and am almost 3 weeks post op, although i did the braces for vanity the surgery was insisted by my ortho and the OS, i too hated seeing pics of myself from the side and always hated my very messed up teeth. I was teased in school and my parents couldnt afford to fix the issue when i was a child. so the braces when on when i could afford it as an adult and like i said the surgery came with it. My OS told me the same thing that i have trained my jaw to hold forward and had many many headaches because of it!!!

This is a huge step and a huge decision and although i still feel pretty cruddy i already see the new me and LOVE it!!!!
i have a chin,no longer a double chin., and once the braces come off i cant imagine how my self esteem will double.

try to surround yourself with supportive people ( my parents still dont get why i needed the surgery done) and stay positive...looking forward to reading the rest of your story

[OhioM]

Congratulations! I wish I would have had the where-with-all to go forward with this when I was 20 or so....I'm 37 and just getting surgery, but I look back and see that despite moving on with life and making the best of what I have, my confidence, professional and social life have been affected negatively b/c of my appearance.

Parents just DON'T get it, sometimes. They look at their child and focus on the positive, which is great b/c that is what LOVE does, but we are the ones who have to face the world every day.

Best wishes on your journey! What are you having done and what is your time frame looking like?

[dayeangphurr]

Thanks candycin and ohiom for your responses. I only considered this surgery a year ago back in 2008. Initially, I thought a rhinoplasty would fix my problem and because I did not know about orthognathic surgery during that time. One day, I was sitting on the computer which had a built in camera, and I started taking profile shots of me. I was like, "whoa, my nose looks huge" and I started fooling around on adobe photoshop and tried to make my nose smaller. However, I still didn't feel content with my attempted "digital rhinoplasty". That's when I realized it might have been my chin that was the ultimate problem. But no, it wasn't just the chin. I didn't think about the jaw itself until a little bit afterwards. Since I have decided to finance this entire procedure on my own, I'm aiming to actually undergo the surgery by the time I am 23 to 25, so between 2011 and 2013. I do not intend to go any later than 25 because I know it also takes some time for healing.

I am a fashion major in college and will be working in the fashion industry, which confidence is absolutely crucial. I cannot enter that field with the self esteem I have right now because that would just eat me alive as its a very judgmental and pressured environment to be working in. Plus, I'll need to be able to participate in social events and interact with others(especially in big groups), which scares me a lot because of my jaw problem.

I would say I'm a pretty vain guy, ever since I was a little child. That's why my overbite is absolutely killing me. And yes, its tremendously draining and exhausting holding my jaw forward the entire day when there's other people around, on top of the headache I get from pushing my jaw outwards. I can't even chew my food properly because when I chew, I try to chew with my jaw in the forward position. And I know I might be causing health issues to myself, but I am very self-conscious about the way I look with my overbite when it comes to chewing and talking.

It's just so depressing how much this overbite of mines is taking over my life. I can't just wait until I am 30 to start doing anything about this because so much of my self-esteem is being affected right now. Who knows what will happen by the time I'm 30. I most likely be one of those mega anti-social, bitter, angry kind of person, and boy that is what I absolutely dread, I won't let my life come to that, that's a promise. But that's just me. I've wasted my entire youth being afraid of people, and social situations.

Oh, and this might sound silly and extremely vain, but I am also extremely self-conscious about the way I look when I'm sleeping. Yeah, you have people who sleeps with their mouths open, but not everyone has a jaw deformity to make that actually look ugly as well. When I'm sleeping, I no longer control my jaw, so my overbite reveals. And I've been teased about it by own parents. I know they're not trying to hurt my feelings and its just a casual tease, but I take it personally. The way I look when I'm sleeping is just straight up goofy looking. I just don't like seeing people mock my sleeping face by imitating it, or taking a picture of it and laughing about it.

Overall, looks really does matter to me, but thats me and the kind of person I am. My life in the future will be revolved around looks. So besides from the functionality and health reasons of undergoing this surgery, it has a lot to do with cosmetics as well.

[candycin]

sad as it is this world does base things on how we look...and why not take every chance we can to look our very best!!!!
my husband has been such a good support person and supported my decision to have the surgery and go ahead with all the treatment that i have had. ...he says he never could have done it, almost passed out when he seen me the first time post op and was a great help for the first 2 weeks post op. you have to make sure to surround yourself with people that are positive and supportive it makes the the whole process so much easier.
i have a few friends that think i was crazy doing this at 35,,but i want to be the best me...you only have one smile make it the best you can

[Bonneville]

I'm 33, so I've been out of the house for a long time now, but I know what you mean about parental approval.
I mentioned something about wanting braces again about a year ago, just in passing, and neither Mom nor Dad thought it was necessary. I didn't need their permission, and I wasn't fishing for donations, but it's nice to have the support of your folks.
And I don't think my parents or my wife would love me any less or more depending on my appearance, and some people say that if your family and friends don't care then why fix your smile for strangers? Well, I'm not doing it for strangers, I'm doing it for myself that has to deal with strangers all the time.

Still, I think my parents look at it as a little bit narcissistic, and I don't think they warmed up to the idea of surgery until I mentioned that it may help me breathe easier through my nose, since the floor of the sinuses will be widened by the SARPE/expander.

I don't think anyone that was born with straight teeth can understand what it's like to live with them crooked. And of course the school years were pretty bad with the insults and taunts by the other students.
Sorry to ramble, I'm not trying to threadjack, it's just your post really rang a bell with me, thanks!
-K

[enigma]

Ding Ding ringing a bell all the way in Ireland too!!!
Yep I can totally relate to all of it, in school it was the names bugs, goofy you name it lmao (because I can now we were just kids) I was never singled out regular just the odd remark left deep impact on me.
It was always in my head meeting people, I dont think there is many photos of me from the ages of 13 upwards least not any that I like.
I remember looking at old camcorder footage and it glancing over me and wondering who the miserable cow was and then I realised it was me I think the way I look makes me look in a constant bad mood lol.
I got braces when I was 21 and thought they would change my life foflmao
then I moved to the uk and went to see another non private ortho who was kinda wondering what the hell the other guy was playing at as clearly I needed surgery too!
So I got braces removed thought wat the hell is the point!!! Was pregnant with first daughter at the time so I didnt want to.
Then by the time I had my second I thought what if, what if some kid says something in the play ground to my girls what if they say something about me or about them??? It helped me in my decision to go for surgery so here I am surgery 25th Jan. and I cant wait I have waited my whole life to fix something that has effected every aspect of it so bring it on.
I know people say if your not happy inside then no amount of changing will help you while i believe that I know this will effect how I see myself.
Feel free anyone to message me to chat about things xxx

[projo198]

Man I got ragged on HARD when I was a kid because of my underbite. Than something great happened, "Beavus and Butthead" got big and suddenly I was jarred about looking like Beavus almost daily. I even had some Austrian kids in Europe make fun of me one day, and this was as an adult!

I always just figured I ended up being successful, have a very attractive wife and good like; and all this BEFORE I got my surgery which was only a few months ago. You are what you are, not how you look.

[dayeangphurr]

Thanks for your response bonneville and projo198.

And best wishes to you, enigma. My whole life has been miserably uncomfortable. I have never once felt attractive at all. Its insane how much of my life has been consumed by my insecurities. I literally hide from the world, and I'm afraid that's just going to severely hurt me in the long run.

I never really explained the title of my post. The reason why I won't be seeking my parent's assistance throughout my decisions to undergo the surgery is mainly emphasized on pride. I have no pride in myself which is a huge factor of my low self-esteem. I have a younger brother whom I'm constantly compared to especially by my mother and family relatives. He was always the good looking one, the smarter one, the better half. What can I say, I want what he has. Being the older brother, I have this role that I'm supposed to fulfill. And I just feel as if I can't compete. My father would try to cheer me up and tell me that "we are all born equally, and no one is better than another" which is quite inaccurate. And then I end up feeling offended.

Disappointment has really taken a toll on me as well. So many times I attempted to convince myself that I'm attractive, to boost up my self-esteem, but it always end up getting shot down. My efforts never come through. I used to dress up all the time, to make myself look as "spiffy" as I could be lol. But once I look at myself in the mirror, the nice clothes I wore doesn't make me feel any better.

I don't believe people who decide to undergo orthognathic surgery(for cosmetic reasons) is because they think they look grotesque, but because they feel that their facial feature are disharmonious and could be enhanced.

Just to let everyone know who reads this, my explanations are quite vague. Don't judge me too quickly. I'm sharing my own feelings and experiences based off of my twenty one years of living. And there are a whole lot of reasons why I feel the way I feel. I just don't feel like typing out every single detail lol. But I'm glad to hear everyone else's personal experience. Thanks, it really means a lot to me.

[queenofoverbite]

As much as it may suck, you may need your parents help.

Im not sure if you've looked into it much yet, but the average cost of orthognathic surgery in the USA is $30,000.

[ElenaM]

A word of advice: get your surgery done outside of the country. Costa Rica is only $15,000 for double jaw, hospital stay, post op appointments, and stay.

I got my surgery done is Serbia for less than $6000 and it turned out really well.

[daffodil]

Welcome!

Do you have insurance that might cover the surgery? My insurance has pre-approved my surgery as medically necessary, but I'm on my own for my braces, which are going to run $12,000 (I live in an expensive city and have honestly never heard of anyone else's braces costing this much!) and I might need tooth extractions which will probably run another $2000 or so since I don't have dental insurance.

I'm getting braces next week and definitely hear you on being self conscious about my overbite! Even though I finally caved and decided to get the surgery only after realizing it's medically necessary, I've never liked having my picture taken because my jaw deformities really show up in them and I'm always horrified. I'm also looking forward to being able to eat things like sandwiches and pizza without having a panic attack because I can't take a proper bite!

[dayeangphurr]

queenofoverbite,

I do have a sense of the estimate cost of the procedure, and I know its an overwhelming amount(especially including the additional fees besides the surgery), however, I don't expect to undergo this procedure anytime soon yet. I'm planning to proceed with my plans in a couple years later ahead. Like I mentioned before in my previous post to this topic, I am currently 21, and I'm hoping to finally begin this journey by 23, that's the earliest. I just feel like my life is on a stand still while time continues on moving forward. In other words, I'm wasting my youthful years! But I still have a lot of planning and preparations to do.

Regardless of how difficult this will be, I will not ask for any help from my parents, I just won't. And I know I can do it on my own

ElenaM,

I'm a little hesitant and skeptical about traveling overseas to have the surgery done. But, it is always an option.

daffodil,

I do have insurance, but of course it's covered by my parents. But I want to finance the entire medical cost on my own, I'll wait until I pay for my own insurance, which won't be until a couple years later from now.

Yeah, taking pictures is a horrifying experience to me lol. And being recorded with a camcorder, even worse!

I don't know if you read my previous posts, but I do eat and talk with my jaw forward, or at least I attempt to, which is extremely difficult. The one thing I hate chewing with my bottom jaw forward are gummy stuff lol. Like the gummy candies. It just makes keeping my jaw in that forward position harder. It's sad how I put myself through this though. But I do all this to keep my spirits up and to kind of get me going throughout the day, if you know what I mean.

Anyways, thank you guys for your replies.

Hope to keep in touch.