Metal Mouth Message Board

I'm a few months from surgery, but I an very concerned about my kids. My mother will be coming down to help out, but should I stay out of site of my 5 and 2 year olds??? My girlfriend had the surgery and had her 3 year old stay with her mom for 2 weeks. I'm torn. I know I have time, but I am the type who has to have everything planned out in advance with a back up plan. Silly, I know.
I'm scared if I send my 2 year old to my in laws for 2 weeks, she'll be scared of me when she comes home. Would it be better for her to be home from the beginning?

Thanks!!!!

Aw I don't think you have to avoid your kids! They're not going to be scared or anything (touch wood), it's probably better to let them see you from the get go.

I am having similar worries. My surgery is next week- eek!

My youngest is just 3, and i'm worried i will traumatise her after surgery if it is all a little gruesome. Even worse, will she be traumatised by the separation?
WE have been building up to it, by my husband & oldest daughter (20) taking over a little mnore of her care- bathing, dressing etc. Then i have been working late a couple of nights a week to prepare her for my not being here at bed time. This seems to have worked, she is happy for Daddy or me to put her to bed now.
Another thing we did was look on Amazon for some books about hospital to help her to understand what might happen. That seems to have helped. Finally I have wrapped a few little treats for her (books, pens etc) so that if she does become upset she can have a little gift from mummy. I am giving her a new teddy on the day i go to hospital, and have a freind dropping in cards for my family while i am gone- getting post is a big deal for my children

i like the above suggestions, but i think if you have help at home you'd rather be home with your kids, and i am sure they will cope ok with seeing mummy look a bit swollen etc. I think being away for longer would be more stressful for them, than being home if you know what i mean lol my kids are almost 1yr old and 3.5yrs so i can understand why you would be anxious about it, i know i would be. But kids are surprisingly durable and will get through most things fine, and i am sure if you have afew special treats for them they will cope fine goodluck

thanks! It really helps to know I am not a mean mommy for wanting to keep my kids home. I really felt that having them see my "change" from the begining would be best, but I still did not want to scar them for life!

Thank for the help!!!!!!!

I think it all depends on your kid. My 3 year-old girl freaked out when I had a band aid so I knew it would not go well with her after surgery. I stayed with my parents for 5 days until most of the freakish swelling went down. She was fine when I showed my face at home on day 6.

It's a tricky one this, isn't it. My husband is looking after our kids (age 6 and 4) while I'm in hospital, then on the day I come home my mum and dad are taking them to their house. My surgery is on a Monday, so I think I'll leave them at their grandparents for the second half of that week, plus the weekend, then play it by ear the following week. I don't want them missing too much time off school, but nor do I want them freaking out, and nor do I want to have to say no when I'm a few days post-op and they're begging me to read stories, play games etc. But the thought of not seeing them for over a week is heart wrenching. I know they have a brilliant time at my parents' house, so that's not a worry for me, and I'd feel selfish making them stay with me just because I'd miss them, and then traumatising them! In fact, they're probably better off somewhere else before I go into hospital because I know that I'll be stressed and short-tempered in the run-up!

I had a two year old that acted up after my most recent surgery. She was scared and unaccustomed to what was going on. The worst part is trying to keep her out of my lap and bumping my face. The other bad part is not being able to read to her.