Nervous, embarrassed, confused

[someguy]

Hello everyone. As you can see this is my first post, so please forgive me if I'm not following standard procedures by making my own thread. I also have no experience posting on message boards.

I'm a 25 year old male with a class III maloclussion underbite/crossbite and narrow palate causing an open bite (not sure of the measurements). I wore a palate-expander and braces for years in elementary/middle school and had a functioning correct bite for some time. However in the decade since then, I completely stopped wearing my retainer (because it stopped fitting) and generally ignored my slowly devolving bite. Now, I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I need to do something about my bite. As I'm sure many of you have experienced, this is an emotionally painful and confusing process.

After reading several blogs and wikipedia articles etc. I finally had my first consultation with an orthodontist last week. As I suspected he recommended double jaw surgery. I don't have money right now to do a full diagnostic with him, but I am moving back home next month to see more orthodontists and get as many opinions as possible. Right now my issue is that this bite actually doesn't cause me any severe functional problems. Sure i have issues biting through lettuce on a sandwich or thin crust pizza, but these are things I can deal with. Additionally, until this process started, I really had no issues with my bite cosmetically. My smile isn't great, and I've become more aware of this, but generally I'm pretty happy with the way I look.

The orthodontist I spoke with, informed me that my bite puts a lot of pressure/stress on my back teeth which can lead to TMJ issues in the future. Currently, a highly invasive double jaw surgery just doesn't seem worth it to me. I'm not in any pain, i'm ok with the way I look, and i can deal with the functional issues. Honestly, I'm terrified even to have braces again, especially at this specific point in my life. I am 25 without, stable employment, and just got out of a 4 year relationship and the thought of spending the next 2-3 years with orthodontic appliances in my mouth/obstructed speech/appearance just seems like too much. And then add on top of that all the stress of the surgery and I just kind of shut down and want to continue to ignore this problem.

Anyways, this post is probably already too long for most people to want to get to, but any words of advice, encouragement or simply a "i've been there, man" would probably be helpful at this point. Thanks.

[Anna5]

Hello Someguy,

Welcome on this forum! Like you, I also have a crossbite/ narow palate and an open bite as well and I can totally understand how you feel. The thought of surgery is indeed scary. I find it hard to advise you, but from your post I understand that your bite doesn't bother you that much and till now you have lived well with it. Therefore, I think it is not worth all the stress of surgery, at least not for now, for all the reasons you mentioned. But that is just my opinion. Definitely have some more ortho opinions before you decide. I wish you lots of wisdom to make the decision that you feel most comfortable with. Keep us updated, we are there for you here on this forum!

Greetings from Anna

[Tobilei]

Hi! I don't have much advice for you I'm sorry but wanted to welcome you to the board. You're dealing with quite a bit.

Definitely get more opinions. If you don't want surgery, there are other people here who opted to try and fix their bite with braces first and might be an option with a different orthodontist.

I know the prospect of braces isn't a fun one. I'm 34 and have met no one in real life my age who has them. I opted for the clear one's and have been happy with my choice. There is also the option of linguals if you can afford them. I'm not sure you'd be a candidate for invisalign because of the jaw problems. If it makes you feel any better, I saw some guy who was famous for making cakes for celebrities on tv yesterday with a bottom jaw full of metal and a top jaw full of clear brackets. He must be in his early 50's and while I noticed, all I thought was "good on him" for fixing his teeth/jaw. There was nothing unattractive or awful about them.

I can understand you wanting to ignore the problem. I think problems tend to get worse with age, not better and TMJ is pretty unpleasant. I have a fairly mild case of it, but it can get awful. Perhaps insist at this point that you would rather not have the surgery and see what some other ortho's have to say.

Best of luck with it all.

[someguy]

Thanks for your thoughtful responses Anna and Tob. I'm glad that I found this forum, as I find it difficult to talk about this issue candidly with my friends. I appreciate that there is a community of people who have all gone through similar things and lived through these very same emotions. I'm sure that if/when I do go through with orthodontic/surgical treatment, I will rely heavily on advice from people here.

Just wrestling with the decision of whether or not to pursue treatment has already caused me a lot of stress. It's a hard process, slowly coming to the realization that I have a real physical deformity. I don't mean to be so negative or pessimistic, but honestly this has all hit me like a ton of bricks in the last month after years and years of denial. Thanks.

[Anna5]

Dear Someguy,

I can totally understand how much stress it causes you and that it has hit you like a ton of bricks. I often feel the same and I just want to encourage you. It is indeed hard to talk about it with friends. People don't seem to really understand how much a bad bite can hit you. But you surely will recieve a lot of understanding and support here on this forum, whether you chose for braces alone or surgery. I wish you very good luck to make a good decision. And for now I wish you a happy Easter! Don't let your bite affect your life too much. I am sure that in the end you will make the right decision and be happy about it!

Greetings from Anna

[bmueller]

Dear SomeGuy,
I hope that your appointments help you make a decision. There are many people on this blog who have had similar situations and some chose to go with surgery, some did not. It's a personal decision based on the expectations for a final result.

Braces affect you as much as you let them. If you want to hide from the social scene for the next two years, ok. But there's no reason you can't be just as outgoing and social. Truthfully, adults DONT care. And if you're bite is as off as you say, it will be obvious why you're doing this. I think very few adults do braces for purely cosmetic reasons. Most people have other problems like TMJ.

Wishing you the best on your decision either way. Keep us updated. We are here for you!

[belistic10]

Hi there i am 27yo female and i have 2 kids so for me surgery was not an option (Despite being given it as a choice) i was given 1 of 3 options i went for the best of all three for my situation as surgery would have meant only a bit of cosmetic correcting (e.g less gum tissue when smiling) to me with 2 little ones under 5yrs that was not reason enough for me, so i got braces ceramic uppers and the rest metal. I would seek other options if you dont wish to go surgical! I have been assured of fantastic results the way i have chosen anyway, obviously treatment will depend on your personal situation.

Dont stop and not go ahead with some treatment though, it is 100% worth it, and time still passes whilst you do nothing, thats time you could be treated and nearly finished! i wish i could have got started earlier! but money was a issue. Honestly the last 18mths has flown by!! and i will be finished this year. And any person you met that likes you for you would not be bothered in the slightest about a temporary braces journey and if they were you wouldnt want them anyway goodluck!

[katsface]

I remember the first time an ortho really laid out for me the bad condition of my bite/smile I felt like I got punched in the gut. Then, a couple of consultations and three years later, I found out that I needed not one, but two separate jaw surgeries to correct the issues.

Anyway, I can completely understand the hesitance, embarrassment, and confusion. I've TOTALLY been there, man!

If you're happy with your smile, and you don't mind any small functional issues you have, maybe waiting would be the right thing to do. This is a big decision, and you want to be sure you're ready for it. A good attitude about treatment is invaluable. If you feel like you're being forced into something, or it's not really something you're committed to, it will only make the process more difficult to deal with.

Here's the thing, though. If you start now, in three years you'll be done. But if don't start now, in three years it still won't be done. If you have doubt now, you may still have it in three years. You'll still have potential health issues to look forward to, and you'll be in exactly the same place with regards to your bite as you are now.

As far as I know, there's never a 'good time' do start stuff like this. So don't let this time in your life stop you from making a decision that's important to you. You just have to weigh your options, talk to a lot of orthodontists, do your research, and decide what matters to you.

[someguy]

Thanks, everyone for your helpful responses. I'm moving back home across the state in three weeks to really get a handle on this thing. I already have 2 more consultations scheduled. I will come back and update on what I hear and what I'm thinking. I hope I can find an ortho I really trust, who has a lot of experience working with an oral surgeon. I know eventually I will be able to handle this better, and the initial shock is slowly starting to wear off. Hopefully, I in a few weeks I can even change the title of this thread

[nb78]

Hi Someguy,

It's been a few days since you posted; so you may not see this. This is my first post on the forum!

I just wanted to pipe in with my experience, for what it's worth, because it seems similar to yours. Like you, I had orthodontia with good results as a teenager. My teeth started moving in my late teens/early 20s, but I didn't think much of it, as it was mostly mild crowding. At 23 I went to an ortho interested in the prospect of Invisalign to correct the crowding, and was floored when he told me that I had an open bite, and needed surgery. I remember clearly his words: he laughed and said, "oh honey, you are way beyond Invisalign." I was embarrassed, like you, and confused. Both the dentists and orthodontist told me EXACTLY what they told you: increased wear on your joints, jaw, possible TMJ issues, and increased erosion on your back teeth from absorbing the disproportionate impact of each bite. One dentist told me that if I didn't fix my jaw, I'd need crowns on all of my bottom back teeth by the time I was in my 40s. It was difficult to believe, and I couldn't stomach the idea of having braces as a single 25 year old. Surgery was WAY off the table. So I did nothing, and to be honest, didn't really worry about them until my late 20s.

However, in my late 20s to early 30s, I suddenly noticed (not sure how or why) just how much my bite had worsened in the past 10 years. The open bite has become markedly larger, due in part to a tongue thrusting habit at night. The structure of my face is different. I can't close my mouth without pursing my lips or chin, and I often feel as though my face looks contorted whenever I'm doing something that isn't smiling straight at the camera. Whereas I once was only mildly concerned about my teeth, I am now consumed with how bad they've become. Every dentist I've been to says the same thing: orthodontics, surgery and dental restoration on numerous teeth due to excessive wear. The erosion on my teeth and the fact that I had extensive ortho treatment as a teenager has greatly complicated the treatment plan. In any event, I've finally decided to sack up and get them fixed.

I am only posting this because my experience, which appears similar to yours, is that these things will worsen with time. While the prospect of having braces in my mid-20s horrified me, I deeply regret not fixing the problem before now. I would have much rather gone through this in my early 20s, enjoyed the benefits of a young, beautiful smile, and saved my joints and teeth in the process! Just my $.02.

When you get your next consult, be sure to ask whether you're a candidate for TADs (temporary anchorage devices), which may be able to fix your open bite without surgery. You never know!

Good luck!

[andygoodyear]

Welcome to the forum. Yes it is extremely difficult and emotional when you start this journey (and throughout it) but just think that you are getting something corrected which makes you unhappy - at least that's my experience. The end results usually seem amazing.

[tiana]

Dear Someguy,

I just want to say "hello" and to encourage you. I wish you all the best. The only thing i can say, is that i strong believe that decisions made by fear are never the good ones. You should not let the fear you have toward the surgery, to influence you.

You may ask yourself what would you suggest to another person, a beloved one, if she/he were in you situation.
What would you do if your child had the same problem you have? What would you say to him?

I hope this help.

[r2ndc]

To: nb78
It sounds you finally end up going for corrective surgery. Did it work out for you well / ie. saw functional improvements?



Hi someguy,
I totally understand the mental aspect you're going through. Now imagine having to think that you might have to go through surgery at the end of a 2nd time-round of ortho treatment-- that's me right now (I posted not too long about it myself )... So... I highly recommend doing a lot more consult before going non-surgery/surgery route. Get consults from both orthodontists and surgeons who do orthoganic surgery. I wish I had done that (at the time I got only consults from orthodontists, and not the surgeons too). 25 is still young I think. I'm 29 right now and did my second send of orthodontics at 27. So even if you decide to hold off a little to save money in the bank whichever route you decide to go, I think that's okay too.

[someguy]

Thanks, everyone. Just checked back in. Reading all of your stories is really helpful. No news to report, yet. My first consultations will be in a couple weeks.

nb78 - it does sound like we have very similar situations and I'm sorry you've had to go through that. Your story is difficult for me to hear, because I think I have been kind of hanging on to the idea that I might be able to not do anything and things will turn out ok. I appreciate you taking the time to write out your story and hopefully I can learn from it, too. Rationally I know I need to get through the treatment now, I'm just a born procrastinator and when I have the option to put something off, I usually do. I'm starting to think I really don't have that option any more, though.

[ST24085]

Just thought I'd weigh in and share my story as it's pretty similar to yours. I've lined up three consultations, been to one, and the scary results from the first are below.

You can almost draw every parallel, I had braces when I was younger, now at 27 almost 28, I need three years of braces and THREE surgeries to fix my bite which theoretically is downright awful, although you wouldn't notice if you weren't an ortho (open bite, asymmetric jaw and narrow upper jaw) and like you, I don't really mind the way I look nor do I have any pain (some fatigue and discomfort but it's pretty minor)! I am however worried that it has the potential to get a lot worse as time goes on.

I really feel what you're saying. I've been in quite a few short term relationships in my 20s, but I still haven't settled down and I agree with how you feel, it seems like braces would just kill a guys chances and social life lol. Definitely with you there.

One thing's for sure, if I go ahead with this I will be doing every last bit of brace and surgery work. As far as the half assed approach goes, been there, done that, and now look where I am. I would encourage you do consider doing the same, as scary as it seems. I'm talking a brave line, but I'm scared sesame like you too :p.